Nothing Means Everything
by Yugi's Girl006
Summary: Sequel to Trying the Tiger although it only has traces of it mentioned. Kai and Ray try to get closer but a lot of things seem to be in their way. Before things get too out of hand, can they get it under control?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade in any way, shape or form.

A/N: These might be a little choppy and hard to follow from over-editing so let me know if there are any kinks I still need to work out. I tried to fit in a lot of information so I wouldn't have to do it progressively. Anyways, enjoy!

Prologue

"Does anyone ever think it's weird that people dress up like us to be cool?"

"What are you talking about?" Tyson stops eating long enough to study me for signs of being serious.

We had all been seated around a table at Kai's graduation ceremony waiting for the new graduate to make his appearance. Tyson had already raided the buffet table three times and was anticipating tackling the dessert buffet when he was done his current plate. He had asked us to hold him a place in line but Hilary went off looking for the bathroom, and Kenny had found some super genius classmates of Kai's to talk technical mumbo jumbo with, while me and Max had been left to protect those who didn't know Tyson from any attacks he might make.

Max had taken this task quite seriously by parking his chair conveniently behind Tyson's so if Tyson made any moves, Max was the first thing he would run into. While I…had decided to wander a few paces away, nervously trying to cover up any overly personal feelings I might end up displaying if Kai ever did show up. I was still within a range of keeping verbal contact but was far enough away that I could pretend I didn't know Tyson if he happened to get past Max and do something stupid.

While on this journey of convenient separation, I had stumbled upon an old school newspaper article that was framed in a glass case along the wall. In it were several pictures of random kids that we had no real connection with, sporting clothes and hairstyles resembling our own (although rather poorly if you ask me) with a caption that read 'School Festival Fun: Dress Like Your Favorite Local Celebrity. Prizes given!'

I had not been made aware of when I had become a 'local' celebrity, since well…I wasn't exactly local…but seeing the picture of these complete strangers smiling and dressing like me had struck me as a little disturbing. I suppose that's the risk anyone takes when making an attempt at greatness, but well, still disturbing.

Maybe I am just being overly critical…

"Sometimes…" Max responds, more of a mind to actually follow the conversation.

At least I'm not the only one.

I sigh and move on to eyeing over a few weird looking art projects and the baseball that 'Broke the School Record' before going back to scanning the room for any signs of Kai. We had been here for a few hours and I was beginning to wonder if he had ditched us. To be completely honest I was a little surprised we had been invited at all. One, because Tyson isn't the best person to associate yourself with at a formal event (as I have mentioned before). And two, Kai didn't really do formal events, much less invite witnesses to them. But here we were! My how times have changed over the past few years.

And months.

Not catching any glimpses of the illusive phoenix, I sit back down in my seat and take to fidgeting with the table cloth.

"Are you okay, Ray? If I didn't know any better I would think you were the one in the spotlight today!" Tyson laughs, finally through his most recent plate and in limbo of waiting to get another one. The girls who were bussing the tables seemed to have gotten smarter about him though and had become scarce, taking what little food Tyson hadn't already nabbed with them. That and he had finally realized how difficult it would be to get up with Max so close to him. Good job Max!

"Yeah, this suit is just a little uncomfortable," I lie, pulling at the collar slightly.

The truth was that my relationship with Kai had become rather…complicated. Much like I had feared, when we had returned from camp last summer, things had been…intense, and then tapered off to be sort of…awkward.

For the first few weeks we had been inseparable, taking every moment free that we had to sneak away and get in our close personal time together. And it wasn't always sexual. We shared something with each other that only happened between us. We learned each other's weaknesses and boundaries and quirks and all the little things that we hadn't taken notice of when we were just 'friends'. But then things started to get weird as our excuses to be excused got less believable or practical. Tyson had started wanting to come with us. Hilary had noted Kai's willingness to stick around during events he would normally have no interest in. And Kenny…Kenny had inquired about an odd improvement in both of our moods which ultimately resulted in a strange twist of our abilities.

I put Tyson to shame.

This development eventually sent Tyson into a panic of rage and Kenny had been determined to figure out what it was that I was doing to improve and how he could use it to help the others. Neither of us were willing to let me be his experiment. So, when Kenny had assumed that all our time spent away together meant that Kai had been giving me private lessons and should share with the rest of the class, Kai had made an excuse that he needed to 'focus on his future plans' and had somewhat disappeared. My blading took a turn for the worse and it all got chalked up to some short lived bout of luck. Tyson was happy. Kenny was temporarily appeased, although still somewhat baffled. And I…I was left in a constant state of 'what the heck just happened?' confusion.

I wondered whether Kai's disappearance would be permanent or if he was just sorting some things out. I wondered how long that would take, how long I should wait, what I should do WHILE I wait, IF I should wait, if I should stay or go home or…whatever! And the longer he stayed away, the more I started to think he wasn't coming back.

And then we got the invitation.

Even sitting here now I am still unsure what he might be thinking. He didn't exactly say anything to me about any of these mysterious 'future plans' nor anything involving our distorted and disheveled relationship. I was starting to wonder if we even still had one. When the invitation came, it surprised us all and stirred up another series of 'what the heck just happened?' questions in me. It was beginning to become quite a taxing situation and I wasn't sure how much longer I could handle not knowing anything.

"I hope Kai shows up soon. I want to go change too," Tyson shifts uncomfortably in an attempt to make my annotations about the suit more true. I couldn't tell if it was really the clothes bothering him or the fact that he was boxed in but I was thankful that I wasn't sitting here alone feeling out of place. It would have been nice if I could get some answers but it was soothing knowing I had distractions if things really did just turn out uncomfortable instead.

"It's about time!" I hear Hilary shout and turn to acknowledge the new presence approaching our table. She has returned from the bathroom and is standing a few feet away with her hands on her hips in an accusing gesture. Next to her now is Kai, sans his graduation robes from the earlier ceremony. His hands are shoved in his pants pockets the way a child would on their first visit to a church service, but he doesn't look at all like a child. It's only been a few weeks but somehow it seems like he has turned into an adult during his absence. He had always held a presence that was much older and mature than we were but now it was much more than just an aura. He managed to make that pose absolutely captivating and I find myself staring a little too long.

He glances over (probably sensing my intense staring) as Hilary goes on with her lecture of how rude it was to make us all wait so long. I do what comes naturally when faced with such strong emotions and immediately look away, a rock hitting the pit of my stomach and making me wonder why I had decided it was okay to subject myself to this torture without any sort of protection prepared. I had really wanted to see Kai and to sort all these things out but now wasn't exactly the time or place to do so and seeing him in the flesh and not just in a 'what if' scenario brought about a lot more mixed feelings than I had realized were still there. I had thought that I had mentally prepared myself for this moment, constantly talking myself up and going over exactly what I would say. I anticipated his reactions and how he would act and had made notes of what I should do to keep myself from getting sucked in without getting to the bottom of the issue.

The logical way to remedy the whole problem should have been obvious from the beginning. All we would have had to do was tell everyone what was going on. Somewhere along the way we had missed that opportunity. Whether it had been the thrill of keeping it a secret or how easily time had gone by, I couldn't tell. All I knew was that the window of reasonably explaining had slowly drifted out of reach.

It was probably time.

If we had said something when it first happened, there would have been a short period of shock and a shorter period of getting accustomed to it. Now it would be a much larger issue since it had been constantly covered up by lies and alternate explanations. Not only would there be a shock and adaptation period, but also a regaining of trust period between us all. With how our lives were changing with graduations and growing up, that could result in our friendships slowly falling apart. Something which I had never even considered as a possibility before.

That made me question whether or not it had been worth it in the first place.

Being faced with him now and feeling everything come rushing back to mind was nothing that I could have prepared myself for. And even thinking such negative thoughts, the first thing on my mind wasn't how I could work things out so that my other friends wouldn't be upset, it was whether or not Kai still smelled the same and if he would mind if I tried to find out.

My playing with the table cloth does nothing to quiet my nerves and I take to fiddling with a fork instead. Which ultimately just ends up on the floor. I throw my hands back into my lap and try to cover up any obvious signs that I had been involved in the clatter as it slides across the floor out of reach.

"Kai! Great! Listen, we totally gotta do something about this atmosphere. These people are killing me!" Tyson's outburst manages to catch a few cross glances but Kai ignores it (and Hilary) as he nods his greetings to the rest of us. Max jumps up and offers his hand, almost knocking over his chair with the hurried movement.

"Congratulations!" he beams. He's quickly pushed aside as Tyson jumps up as well, finally free of his barricade.

"Great job! And congrats on the job too! I'm surprised Hiro didn't say anything last time I talked to him. He's usually pretty happy about the new recruits!"

"It was a last minute decision," Kai replies without much interest invested. It's nice to see that some things haven't changed.

The job Tyson is referring to is an intermediate level job at the BBA headquarters. Somewhere in his travels of 'future plans' Kai had decided to give up coaching and moved onto event and tournament planning. From my perspective it almost seemed like a step down, but the pay was good and so were the benefits. Not that someone in Kai's position and status needed either but for some reason he had accepted the offer anyway. Hilary had actually been the one to tell us, coming across the news in a newspaper article.

"Still! It's pretty amazing! Even without a degree you still got a great job!" Hilary pipes in again. "Which is more than these two would ever do…" The three of them go on about life changing experiences and making a name for themselves and a bunch of other things that I decide not to pay attention to.

It was true that Kai was a step ahead but it wasn't really reasonable for Hilary to say the others couldn't do the same. Tyson and Max (as well as Kenny and Hilary) still had a full year of school left while Kai didn't. Sure, that didn't really stop Hilary from already starting her plan of joining the working class as well but I still thought it was unfair of her to think Max and Tyson would take the same initiative and think that far ahead. Tyson and Max did nothing but play around with Kenny scolding them and trying to get them to be more serious. It wasn't that they didn't think about it, it was more like they didn't think it was so close in the future for it to matter. And who REALLY knew what kind of thoughts swirled around in their heads. I wouldn't be completely surprised if they had SOME kind of plan brewing. Kenny had been in the process of getting an internship in a research center but was still dabbling in keeping Tyson and Max focused. With all the support they probably wouldn't be as bad off as Hilary always made them sound.

I am REALLY glad she didn't lump me in the same boat. I had received my certificate of graduation without attending school from home studying but was still deciding on where to go next. The tournaments would start soon and the rest of my life seemed to be in chaos. I had been un-concentrated on pursuing anything of value but it wasn't like I hadn't been thinking about it at all. Part of me wanted to find a new challenge and part of me wanted to find a quieter place to settle down. I had yet to find what I had to offer.

I can feel Kai's eyes on me as he easily tunes the rest of the group around him out when they start fighting. This gesture only makes me more nervous than I already had been and fidgeting is no longer enough of a distraction.

"I'll be right back," I push back from the table to stand up.

Avoiding making clear eye contact, I depart, finding my way to an outside deck where a few people have gathered to catch a cigarette break. I take a deep breath, not that this is the healthiest choice at this moment but even amongst the smokers, it makes me relax a bit.

"Hey," a voice nearby catches my attention and I look over to find a man standing next to me. He holds out his cigarette and without thinking I take it. "You look like you might need it more than I do," he replies before leaving to go back inside. I stare blankly for a moment, unsure of what had just happened or why I am still holding the cigarette (and why I had even taken it to begin with) but not really knowing what to do with it, I just shrug and lean on the small railing, turning my back to everyone else. I try to focus myself on keeping my head cleared.

It wasn't that bad. Sure it felt like last summer all over again when I was just figuring out my feelings and what to do with them. But he wasn't outwardly ignoring me. I could easily say he was doing the opposite. Even out here I could still feel those strong eyes studying me. If only there was a way I could…

"You know those are bad for you." The voice not only halts my thoughts but my heartbeat as well. I shift a small glance back just in time to watch the last two smokers put out their cigarettes and vacate past Kai as he crosses over to me. I look down at the cigarette and panic.

"This isn't… I wasn't… This just… That is that I…" I struggle to find an explanation or a way to dispose of the cigarette without looking more suspicious than I already do but I don't find anything helpful anywhere close. He isn't fazed at all as he takes it from me casually, halting my panic, and puts it out in a cup on a table nearby, making sure to send me a disapproving yet amused look while he's doing it.

"I'm glad you came," he changes the subject before I can become too much more embarrassed than I already am. I forget about the whole incident and smile a little.

"Where else would I be?" I laugh nervously, hoping he can't tell how much I am forcing myself or how hard a task that breathing suddenly became. If he notices, he doesn't act like it.

"Well I could think of a few places I'd rather be," he snorts. He passes behind me and takes a spot in the corner of the railing to lean.

"But it's your moment, you have be proud of it." I let out a breath and smile for real, letting the calm of the night air float around us as he just shakes his head at the thought. "How'd you escape the hounds so quickly anyway?" I chide. He doesn't provide any real answer except to roll his eyes.

I wouldn't be surprised if he had just walked away without even trying to hide his departure and still got away without so much as a glance. When the three of them were fighting it was quite easy to slip out under the radar.

The initial tension between us seems to have dissipated somewhat but I still can't take the silence that wants to settle in. I spout out the first thing that pops into my head. Anything to fill the empty space between us and those tantalizing questions that all want to be let out at once.

"I'm happy that you've been doing so well. Won't be long before you're at the top of the world again," I say distantly. It wasn't a lie. But it wasn't the whole truth either. I WAS happy for him. I was happy that while he was gone he had tackled a few hurdles and managed to make everyone else look so far behind. It wasn't that I didn't want him to succeed. Quite the contrary actually. I only wanted the best for him. But I also missed him and had hoped that he had missed me too. Even just a little. In the time that he had been away my thoughts had gone in 50 different directions. Even if I had wanted to plan a life that existed without him, I hadn't been ready to try. He had come back to show me that he had not felt the same way. He had moved forward anyway. What had I been doing?

It made me feel a little silly. Considering everything that had happened, our positions and progress weren't so strange. This was Kai after all… I should had expected it to end up like this. He was always better off on his own. He probably…

"Move in with me."

My head snaps out of the clouds and I turn towards him.

"What?" The air around me seems to get sucked away as I go on trying to comprehend THAT little shock. My mind had been processing everything pretty well and it didn't seem too hard to understand but it was the last thing I had expected. I had been waiting for an 'hn' or an 'of course', anything that would indicate that I had been stupid to think any other scenario would have been possible.

He meets my startled look with his own serious one but doesn't make any indication that he is going to explain or repeat himself. For a moment I wonder if I had just imagined it. For the next moment I convince myself that I had as he steps away from the railing and starts walking back towards the dining room. He pauses when he's about to pass by me and smirks.

"You could have at least left me some credibility," he replies before going back inside. I instantly feel terrible. He had known the whole time that all I had done in his absence was doubt. Not just myself but also him and his intentions. I wasn't about to leave it that way after being so close to fixing the mess that I clearly had made on my own.

"Wait! Kai!" I go after him, catching him just inside the door. He turns around and I approach him. "I have to tell you something first." Our eyes meet and I know I have his full attention. Great. Now I have him here and I don't know where to start. I laugh to myself and shake my head. "You'd think I'd be better at this by now…" My confidence withdrawals.

He doesn't say anything but he makes a sudden shift and I am caught off guard when he grabs my arm. He hesitates as if considering my feelings (or maybe everyone else's), but it's only for a second before he's leaning over to kiss me. He gives me the time I need to accept it and kiss him back, craving the contact from him, before he pulls away. My eyes close when his hand brushes my hair away from my face and I anticipate his next move, wanting it to happen. Every touch is so familiar and I invite it easily as if I had never been without it at all. All my talks and scenarios had not incorporated this feeling or this type of action and a part of me was disappointed at my resolve. I was meant to take on the problem head first, but my heart was once again the winner and my head was rendered useless by just one delicate touch.

"Just say yes," his words are low but urgent, as if any other answer would mean the end.

My hand wraps around his wrist gently but I linger in my response, taking a moment to savor the feeling of just having him so close again.

"Y…"

"I knew it!" The voice startles both of us and we separate, both taking a step back as Hilary rushes over loudly. "You weren't fooling anyone you know." She laughs and steps between us, facing Kai. "And YOU can't run away from this." She points a finger right in Kai's face then grabs him by the hand and starts tugging him back towards the dining room. She turns back to me and narrows her eyes. "I'm not done with you yet either. You have a lot of explaining to do when this is over, Ray."

"Hilary, hold on," I try to stop her but they are gone before I can get another word out. I was beginning to feel like I would always be one step behind and catching up with the world around me was something I would always fall short of. But just when that doubt starts to appear and wants to settle, he's there. He walks back out and changes everything, the same way he always has.

"Come on, let's just get out of here before they notice again." He ushers me towards the door in one quick motion.

"How did…nevermind." I was okay with that change. When he was standing there, leading me, it was like nothing else mattered. I decide not to hesitate again and let him take me away. I knew there would probably be a lot more to explain to everyone than just what Hilary had seen or thought but I no longer cared. What I wanted, the whirlwind that Kai stirred within me, was at my fingertips and this time I was just going to grab it and run.


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Beyblade. And I apologize if anyone is offended by cursing.

Chapter 1: All is Fair in Love and War

I didn't know what I was getting into.

More like, I didn't think about what I was getting into. Or what I should have been expecting. In my heart I probably thought it would be rainbows and butterflies because what I really saw was a way for Kai and I to be together but what I neglected to consider, was exactly what 'being together' was. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like it wasn't perfect. But we had both ignored one very important thing that always seemed inevitable in anything involving us.

"All right! This place is AWESOME!" Tyson flops down on the couch and spreads out as if claiming his territory. I look up from my notebook confused, to find Kai, who is still standing at the front door after letting our 'guest' in. He exchanges a look with me and I can only guess that he is just as surprised as I am, although I can also see something else in that facial expression too…accusation.

"Um, Tyson?" I glance down at the luggage he had dropped as he had entered the living room and then up at the newcomer. He seems to be in his own world, oblivious to any wrongdoing, as he starts flipping through some magazines that we had piled on the coffee table.

"Hey, Ray! Did you see the new Sports issue? They did a cover story on the 'Child Prodigy joining the BBA Working Class'!" Tyson goes on energetically, hand motions and all, as if he was writing his name in lights across Hollywood, completely ignoring my inquiry. "It was WAY BETTER than yours Kai! Did you see it? Huh?!" Kai crosses his arms as if demanding an explanation from one of us, not really caring which. I can tell that it is taking a lot of self-control for him not to just throw Tyson's things back out the door and as amusing as that would be, I am actually relieved that he is putting forth an effort to restrain himself. Considering that we didn't really know what was going yet, or if there was any reason to react in that sort of way, I didn't want Tyson to think we weren't hospitable.

"I don't think it's out yet…" I send a silent apology to Kai, even though I don't feel like I need to, before putting my book down and concentrating on Tyson's intrusion. "More importantly…why are you here? And why did you bring luggage?"

"You aren't even going to congratulate me? I've finally taken a step into adulthood all on my own and all you have to say is 'why did you bring luggage?' How rude! I think I deserve a little more than that. But if you're really that interested, I'll tell you Ray…" He looks around the room as if amping himself up for the task of expressing what's on his mind. Then he completely changes his direction. "Do you have anything to eat? I had a long trip and I'm super hungry…" He stands up and wanders his way deeper into the house without even letting either of us respond.

"Why do I get the feeling that you think this is somehow my fault?" I watch Kai as he leaves the front hallway to enter the living room.

"I didn't say anything," he shrugs. "Guilty conscience?"

"No way! I haven't even talked to Tyson. How did he even know we were here?" I had explained things briefly to the others when I went to collect my belongings but I had never mentioned Kai or where I was going. Hilary could have suspected something but from what I could see, she hadn't said anything to the guys about what she had witnessed between us. She hadn't even confronted us to confirm her suspicions and had taken to acting strangely around us instead. When we got together for practices and other social gatherings, she avoided talking to either of us directly. When she did have to speak with us she became giggly and girly and didn't stick around any longer than was required to finish the conversation. The main reason we continued to hide the relationship was because it didn't exactly come up in our regular conversations so easily and there was no real reason to get anyone else involved. Our relationship with each other was separate from our relationships with anyone else and there was no purpose to complicate things. That didn't take away from the fact that I had wanted to on several occasions. It just never really felt like the right time.

"You have a gym? Inside your house?!" Tyson comes backs carrying a container of leftover pasta he had found in the kitchen. "And a pool?! Seriously?! Hiro said you had a good set up but I had no idea it was this good!"

"Hiro?" I study Tyson with interest, wondering why his brother would have been discussing our living arrangements with Tyson, but Kai sits down and covers his face like he has a headache forming. I smile deviously as the pieces fall into place. "This was you," I make eye contact with him as he looks up and he is nowhere close to being as amused as I am that it WASN'T my fault. The defeated look he has almost makes me feel sorry for wanting to tease him. Almost…

"I was required to put it on my application and I had to explain the situation just in case there was an emergency. It was more of a formality than anything else," Kai waves it off dejectedly. "However, I probably could sue him for spreading my personal information without my knowledge. It's very unprofessional."

"Ah, lighten up. It wasn't Hiro's fault, Kai! I found it by accident when I was in his office putting in my own paperwork. He told me a little about the area when I asked and said it was close to work. I didn't know Ray was here too but it's good to see you're okay! Are you just visiting?" he looks over the container at me between bites to clarify my presence there.

"I'm attending University nearby." At least that was a simple enough answer. The circumstances of my staying with Kai were not as cut and dry, but Tyson didn't really need to know that right now.

It had been almost a year since we had 'run away together'. As romantic as that should sound, there hadn't been much time for romance at all. I had started college shortly after moving in with Kai. I chose to stay out of the BBA working world temporarily and work on becoming a teacher instead. The satisfaction I got from sharing my talents with others felt like a much better fit than some work in an office. Kai was actually doing both. He seemed to juggle school and work pretty well but didn't really discuss either. And as far as free time went, the rare times that we did get to share together, we didn't do much talking… I hadn't decided whether I was okay with the way things had turned out or not but there wasn't much time to think about it. We each had our own little routines and we kept ourselves busy most of the time.

"That's great! The more the merrier!" He pats me on the back cheerfully. Which leads me to eye up his belongings again. I suddenly feel sick.

"You're not staying," Kai commands.

"Come on, Kai! You have to let me stay! It's so close to work AND I won't have to find a place on my own. AND we can carpool! If I stay with my Grampa I will go nuts! He said that I need to grow up and spread my wings or something else cheesy like that. He's gone absolutely crazy!" He sits down next to me in a huff. "If I can prove to him that I don't need his help anymore he might finally leave me alone. Not to mention Hiro said it was a good idea. Something about learning proper manners from a real adult… I don't know what he was talking about but moving out on my own alone is stupid if I could just stay here with someone I know! It's economical!"

"I'm going to kill Hiro…" I hear Kai mumble bitterly.

"Do you even know what economical means? Wait, forget it. You can't stay here," I try to sound as insistent as Kai to show him that I am supporting him but somehow ending up a third party makes it seems less valuable. This difference in authority is not lost on Tyson either.

"You're such a tease, Ray. You should be on my side! You really want to stay here ALONE with KAI?" He pushes me playfully. "I'd be doing YOU a favor. I can help protect you!" Kai says nothing as he quietly exits the room and disappears down the hallway. I sigh. This certainly wasn't going to go away peacefully.

"Talking about Kai like that when you're trying to get something from him isn't going to get you very far…" I reply boredly, slightly annoyed that I had been left to take care of it on my own.

"Come on, you gotta back me up Ray. Grampa already changed my room into some weird dance studio. I can't go home now or I will just prove him right about me never leaving home. I got the job on my own! And if Kai lets you stay, I should be just as welcome. We're all friends! It's not like he doesn't have the room…" All valid points, but none of them were real reasons when Kai was involved. He would definitely never agree to anything like this willingly. The whole situation just frustrated me but looking at Tyson's sad face I couldn't take it anymore.

"Ahhh, just…stop talking. I don't think you are thinking about this clearly... You know Kai." I start to wonder how Kai expected me to get Tyson out by myself. I mean, he had to know me well enough to know that leaving it up to me would ultimately end the opposite of how things are supposed to be. Maybe he was testing me to see if I would stand my ground for once and not let friendship interfere with my decisions.

"I know! But that's why you gotta help! How did you even find out he was here anyway? He didn't really say anything when he left. Then again neither did you. Have you been here the whole time? No wonder you didn't say anything…" Tyson seems to have a whole conversation with himself before he realizes that he's still talking to me. "Just talk to him for me, please? He listens to you." He pouts and I try my best to ignore him but my better nature wins out and I flitch, knowing I am about to get myself into a lot of trouble. Test failed.

"The rooms on the left are empty but I can't promise you anything…"

"I knew we were friends for a reason!" He throws his arms around me, almost dumping the rest of the container of food down my back, before grabbing his things and rushing off again. I sink back into the couch in a sad attempt to disappear. This wasn't exactly how I wanted to spend my Sunday night. Why was I so weak when it came to being nice to other people? Life would be so much easier if I could just say 'no' and that would be the end of it. I can just hear Kai now…

"He's not staying." See? Even the voices in my head know how things are.

I look up. Oh wait, that's actually him. Kai re-enters the living room carrying a cup of coffee.

I take a deep breath.

"What else was I supposed to do? I don't have the heart to just throw him back out on the street. The trip home would be a nightmare at this hour." I frown as Kai glares at me over the steam from his cup.

"He found his way here just fine." Cold. "The whole point of me asking you to come here was to get away from them. You know him being here ruins that." He doesn't waver in his resolve, nor does he say anything that isn't 150% the truth. This complicated things, that was already a given.

"Ugh, don't you think I know that?" I bury my face in my hands. "I just can't turn my back on a friend. And how can you stand there and act like you really have no concern? I know you better than that even if they don't." He sips his coffee and sits down in a chair on the other side of the room.

"I need my privacy."

I walk over to him and sit on the arm of his chair, giving out my best 'please, it's just temporary' look.

"I'm all about privacy but maybe just a few days? I can help him find somewhere else." He shakes his head. The fact that this was his problem and not so much mine was somehow blurred as I had fully taken on the role of Tyson's protector. When I had switched sides I wasn't sure but it was probably picturing Tyson's sulking face miserably returning home like a lost child. I could hear Hilary's laughing obnoxiously and menacingly going on about how she knew he'd never make it while his Grandpa is giving him chores to do for the rest of his life because he would never get another chance to get ahead by himself. It was something I couldn't offer to even my worst enemy. Everyone deserved a chance to grow up!

It is time for more drastic measures.

I slide onto Kai's knees and straddle him, making sure not to spill his coffee, and send him the most pleading look I have. He twitches a little before closing his eyes, trying to stop that headache again. I inch my way closer.

"You know he never travels alone, right?" He opens his eyes to give me a stern look. I inch closer again and wrap my arms loosely around his neck. "Not to mention he has no understanding of discretion." He sips his coffee again, not even bothered by what little space I have granted him to move in.

"There are plenty of rooms…" I start. "We may never even see him." I run both hands down his arms and over his hands around his coffee. "The rooms aren't even that close. Just listen." I pause for effect, tilting my ear to the direction Tyson had gone. "He's probably knocked over like 15 things already and we haven't even heard him." I shrug and he allows me to take the coffee and set it aside on a table. "You won't even know he's here." My hands make their way down, lingering around the edge of his shirt. I inch closer one more time, working them under his shirt and across his stomach where I feel his skin tense up. He flinches and I smirk. "I'll owe you…" I whisper, leaning a little closer in a seductive way.

"Are you trying to use sex as a bargaining tool?" he challenges me, half intrigued, half surprised.

"I dunno, is it working?" I half smile. He leans forward to close the remaining gap between us.

"Hey guys!" Tyson bursts back into the room excitedly and I go tumbling to the floor as Kai suddenly stands up. He leaves the room quickly and bitterly and all the progress I had previously made leaves the room right after him. I wince when I hear a door slam. Maybe a different approach would have been better under these circumstances.

"Are you okay? Were you guys playing a game?" Tyson rushes over to help me up. I shake him off and hide my face before he can see my embarrassment.

"Not exactly… But I'm fine thanks. I just spilled some coffee," I lie. One thing that I wasn't so proud of about myself after all the time dealing with this was just how easily it had become for me to do that. I ignore the guilt that comes from that and recompose myself. "Did you find a room okay?" I change the subject before too many questions can be asked.

"Did I ever?! Did you guys know the bathrooms were so big? It's like a freakin' spa in there!" he goes on about the various rooms of the house that he had aimlessly wandered in and out of.

"Well, yeah. It is kind of our house…" I say, unsure.

"I can't WAIT to tell Kenny and Max! We could have all KINDS of fun in here! This is so awesome, I can't believe you guys live here… I gotta go call them right now!" He runs off again.

Oh boy. How was I supposed to stop him now?

I look up at the ceiling as if praying to some unknown higher being that this nightmare would just end.

After much deliberating and talking him down from calling his other friends at this hour of the night, I finally get Tyson settled into his room and he seems to zonk out almost immediately. He reminded me of a kid who had just raided a toy store and collapsed from all the excitement. I made sure he was tucked in safely before coming back to fix what had happened with Kai. Although I was second guessing that decision now. I probably should have worried about it sooner. I suppose I can't really change my mind about it now.

I stand at the door to Kai's bedroom, contemplating how to approach this situation in a way that everyone would be appeased. Tyson had been easy to settle. Kai, would not be so easy. Especially since he was most likely going to be the one losing this battle. No amount of effort I could put in would be enough to push our new guest away. Once his mind was made up, there was no changing it and I hadn't really done anything to help push him off either. That stubbornness was a trait that he actually shared with Kai. Too bad they had opposing ideas of what they wanted right now.

"How long do you plan to keep standing there?" Kai's voice brings my full attention back to him, however muffled it is behind the door. I swing the door open and take a step inside.

"I, uh…made you a new cup," I smile sheepishly, looking down at the steaming cup in my hand. "Except it's tea. It's a little late for coffee now… This might help with the headache too…" I enter the room, closing the door behind me, and cross over to the bed, setting the cup down on the nightstand closest to him. He has paperwork spread out across the bed and I shift some of it over so I can sit down.

"Look, I know you think I am being the bad guy here," he starts as he puts the rest of the paperwork aside to look at me. "But I know Tyson. This won't be temporary and we won't have any quiet."

"I know it's not ideal nor is it anywhere close to what you wanted, but I can't say no when we obviously have the space. I wouldn't be a good friend if I did." I look down, considering how Tyson would take it if I really did try to shove him off to find somewhere different. Kai would never take the effort and as things stood currently, I really had no say in the outcome. It was 'Kai's place' to anyone on the outside. Whether Tyson stayed or Tyson went, it really wasn't my choice any more than it was Tyson's. "Maybe he really does just need a little push…" I silently hoped those words were true but even as I say them they don't feel right.

"You're too nice."

It isn't the words that make me smile, but the tone. I look up at him, not even trying to hide my delight at all.

"And…?" I egg him forward, expectantly.

"I'll give you two weeks." I jump up excitedly and hug him, jostling his paperwork slightly awry.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou," I rush as I release him. He gives me a warning look.

"If he in any way interferes with my routine, he's done." I nod and sit back down, trying to fix the little piles so they look the way they had a moment ago. "And no Max. One of them is enough already." I nod again. "And hey…" His hand moves to my neck and his thumb brushes down my jaw. "…you WILL owe me." I smile and lean over to kiss him lovingly, ruining my previous attempt at fixing the mess and sending a few of the papers to the floor in the process. He doesn't seem to mind as he pulls me closer and kisses me more deeply, absently brushing the rest of it all into an even more disorganized pile on the floor.

"So…" I start when he gives me a minute to breathe. "For future reference. Does this mean it actually worked?" I ask playfully.

"Quit while you're ahead." He smirks. "And…" he pauses and guides me down next to him. "For future reference." He leans over to kiss my neck and whispers in my ear. "This doesn't count as payment."

There wasn't any part of me that didn't want Tyson to leave as soon as possible (under the right conditions). My private time with Kai was something that I wanted to keep, even if it meant shutting everyone else out. That was something I was certain of.

"He follows you like a puppy," I point out, watching Tyson grab a bowl, go into the drawer for a spoon, and mimic the rest of Kai's motions of getting breakfast. Kai is not amused.

"More like a zombie." Kai puts the box of cereal within Tyson's reach and sits down next to me at the table.

"He's not used to the working life yet." I smile, watching him sleepily fight with the box. "Our little boy is growing up so fast," I dote. Kai scowls.

"Now it's your turn," he growls before starting to eat. Now I scowl.

"Hey, I could get a job," I retort. "Maybe… I need time to study, ya know. Not all of us are geniuses."

"Mfhhtht…" Tyson makes a noise and a motion almost in support of my declaration but he still isn't fully awake yet and doesn't manage anything coherent. He stumbles his way over to the table and I can tell that the idea of food consumption is waking him up a bit though.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Kai changes the mood to a more serious one. I look away from Tyson, curious as to what it could be about. Usually he didn't ASK to talk to me, he just did. So it must have been really important.

"What's up?" I try not to sound too concerned.

"Later." He steals a glance at Tyson and I nod.

"Sure. I should be free after dinner."

"I hope we have rice omelets…" The first full thought Tyson has had all morning comes out sleepily. Kai and I both look back at him but he still looks out of it and I question whether or not he is even conscious.

"I wouldn't be opposed to making that but that's not usually a dinner thing," I interject calmly, hoping that it isn't falling on deaf ears. A soft mumble and a snore tell me it most likely is. I turn back to Kai. "I guess I should take responsibility and make sure he gets to work okay so you don't have to fret about it."

"I wasn't going to anyway," Kai replies before standing up, announcing his readiness to depart. "His job is his own responsibility. I'm not going to hold his hand for him." He shrugs and places his dishes in the sink to be washed later before he exits the kitchen. I frown and fixate a disapproving look back on the other boy still in the room. Well this will be fun…

"You're going to be late, Tys." I try to stir him, taking a look at my watch. I consider the outcomes of what would happen if I just left him here the way Kai had inadvertently suggested, but can't live with the feeling of guilt I know would haunt me all day. Sometimes I hate being me.

I rouse Tyson the best I can and manage to get him in motion. After safely getting him on the bus and dropped off at work into somebody else's care, I make my way to class, now running late myself. I try to slink into my first class unnoticed but something else happens instead that is completely unexpected.

"Raaaaaay!" I don't have time to react before I am tackled to the ground in a loud thump. I wince at the cross stares and the teacher's displeased look before I register what is going on. "I didn't think I would see you here! You go here too?!" That laugh… It can only be…

I turn my head.

Max.

He releases me from his choke hold hug and we pick ourselves up, both receiving another displeased look from the teacher, this one screaming 'so this is yours?' as well as a few other disapproving notions.

"Hey Max… It's been awhile…" The teacher clears his throat and I hide my embarrassment, shoving Max off into a chair nearby as I take a seat as well. Seriously, hate being me.

"S…sorry… I just got a little excited." Max realizes his mistake and the disruption he is making before anyone actually points it out, and quiets on his own but everyone can see that it probably won't last very long. He sits in the chair bouncily, swinging his legs like a little kid, while he scribbles something down in his notebook. He gives me a wink and shoves it over to me.

'Tyson said I might see you but I didn't believe him. Can't wait to see your place!'

Shit. I hate it when Kai is always right… He's going to kill me.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade!

Chapter 2: Touch and Go

"It's not what you think!" I blurt, rushing out to the hallway as I hear the front door open. I stand in a protective position, hoping that I can guard myself from any misinterpretations of the situation.

"Hello to you too!" Tyson walks in. I relax, a disappointed feeling washing over me as he pats me on the head. "You didn't have to meet me at the door though. What's that smell?"

"Tyson!" Max clamors out of the kitchen and they tackle each other happily in greeting. "It's dinner. I helped!" I watch as he leads Tyson off. The door closes behind me and I turn back around guiltily.

"It's not what you think…" I repeat, but without as much nerve. Initially, I had been ready to grovel and apologize and do just about anything to make sure he knew it wasn't my fault or my idea. I was willing to accept the consequences and explain the whole story until he understood. Anything as long as he wouldn't be angry with me. But Tyson had stolen my oomph and Kai's nonchalant attitude didn't warrant digging it out again.

Kai hangs up his coat, ignoring me completely, before he walks past me as if I'm not even there and goes straight to his room. I hear the door close.

Great, he's so angry he doesn't even have a snide remark to say. How do I even go about fixing THAT?!

"Ray! Hurry up! You're gonna miss out!" Tyson yells from the kitchen. I take a few steps forward and stop in the doorway to the kitchen, seriously pondering whether following Kai right now would make him angrier or if I had anything to offer him to calm him down. I couldn't use the same tactics as yesterday and there isn't really anything Kai needs or desires that would be adequate enough to sway his feelings. "Just leave him alone, he's been like that all day." Tyson seems to notice my concern. "He'll get over it with a little time. He always does!" I shift to face the two other boys as they are busily setting up the table with the food Max and I had prepared.

"But what about dinner?" I try to make up an excuse to go check on him anyway. Tyson might easily forget about others feelings but I didn't. Not to mention that it would be uncomfortable if I didn't deal with it before we settled in to sleep.

Tyson waves it off.

"I saved him a plate for when he's ready so you don't have to worry." He smiles.

"He likes it better by himself anyway," Max agrees with a happy wink.

I fold.

It might be better to let him just cool off a bit. If I had to guess he would probably find his way to the gym to work it out. He hadn't done that for some time now but it had been his go-to problem solver in the past. That was actually something that we shared. It helped with concentration and focus as well as kept us from taking our anger out in more destructive ways.

"So how was your first day as an adult?" I enter the kitchen and take my seat at the table. They finish setting everything up and settle in as well. Tyson grunts in disapproval as we all start helping ourselves to the food.

"So boring! All I did was watch videos about sexual harassment in the workplace and retirement policies. I think school would have been more exciting… I didn't even get to look around! Mr. Dickinson said everyone had to participate because there was a test at the end but all I wanted to do was sleep. What kind of job gives you a test?!"

"Sounds…rough." I say unsure. I didn't have the heart to tell him that that was pretty standard for most jobs. Max pats him on the back to comfort him.

"School isn't any better. I got kicked out of almost every single class for talking. College is so different than High School. I thought discussion was supposed to be a good thing," he shakes his head disapprovingly. "And Ray is only in ONE of my classes! I thought for sure we'd see each other more often…"

Thank heaven for small favors.

I look up at the ceiling as if saying a grateful prayer before I turn to Max and give him a small frown.

"Yeah, sorry I didn't see more of you. It's not my first semester so I've already taken most of the classes you are in now. If you need any help, I know the material though." I offer an exchange. One that I am halfway hoping he'll forget about if he ever DOES need help. "Why did you enroll there anyway? It's nowhere near home…" Max takes a big swallow of food and points his fork at me.

"Trying to get rid of me already, huh? I already told you not to worry, Ray! I have a place on campus to live. Tyson talked me in to going because it was close to where he was going to be and my Dad said it wasn't a bad choice. Even if it wasn't my original plan it still works out!" He goes back to digging into his food and Tyson nods. Before I can ask anything about his 'original plan', Tyson interrupts.

"Yeah, and now you don't have to go so far to see us!" They both laugh and I instinctively look towards the hallway again, hoping that maybe a miracle would happen or the world would end. Wait, I don't want the world to end if I am in a fight with Kai. I take that back. I do wish he would come join us though. A nice, calm conversation like this might help show him how unnecessary being angry is. Max wasn't staying! He had a place…

"Can I stay in your room tonight? I think it'll be past curfew by the time I leave…"

"What?" I turn back sharply. "No, you can't." I panic. If Max stayed there was a good chance Kai would remain angry and that wasn't good for anyone. I didn't want him to get too comfortable.

"It's just one night, Ray. I'll take care of him. Kai won't even notice." Tyson replies happily. That doesn't make me feel any better. Since when does Kai 'not notice' anything? And since when does Tyson think it's his place to entertain people in OUR house? I suppose I could just chalk it up to him being used to being the host but it was still a bit disheartening. Tyson wasn't allowed to get comfortable either. I had to figure out a plan soon or this was only going to get harder to deal with later.

I look down and concentrate on my own food, my eating becoming slow and tired. I tune out the rest of their yammering and their cleaning up and silently roam my way to my room. Although technically we had separate bedrooms, I never actually used mine. Just standing in it made me feel lonely.

I notice the shower running in the bathroom that connects my room to Kai's. Needing to talk to him anyway, I knock on the door.

"I'm coming in!" I announce before entering. The bathroom door on his side is still open and his work clothes and a pair of sweats are spread out on the floor just inside of it. Instead of gloating over how well I was getting to know Kai, I walk over to the entrance to the shower and lean up against the wall right next to it. "I know you're angry but I…" I what? What was I supposed to be offering? Kai had been right about everything. Maybe I needed to just say that. Him being right didn't really change anything or make it better but it might make everything less tense. Just thinking that way made me feel stupid. Begging hadn't been my smartest idea either. If I did that now he would just think I was pathetic.

"I think I figured out what you can do to make this up to me." His voice surprises me. I tilt my head so my ear is leaning a bit closer, finding everything else harder to hear past the sound of the water.

"What's that?" I wait for whatever it is he wants to say.

"If we are going to talk in here you might as well get in," he returns. Or at least I think that's what he says. Without paying attention I take a step closer.

"What?" I lean in and put all my effort into hearing him repeat himself. I am so concentrated on this that I don't notice when he grabs me and pulls me clumsily into the shower with him. "H…hey! I'm still dressed!" I protest, gripping on to him for balance. He snorts.

"Then you should have waited."

I scowl.

Even the nakedness of his body and the smell of his shampoo isn't enough for me to forget that I am now a wet mess. I let go of him as I try to move to a place that is at least outside of the water stream, but that spot doesn't really exist in the now cramped stall, so I only manage to look sadder. He goes on about his shower naturally, without giving me much attention or acknowledging that the space he has is now limited because of my presence. I open the curtain and step halfway out of the shower but stay as close as I can to him as I try to figure out how to dry myself.

"What is it that you wanted to suggest?" I don't let the temporary distraction deter me from the conversation.

Even pre-occupied, I don't miss his mood as it shifts and gets a little darker. I stop to watch him carefully and my concentration on his demeanor makes me forget about my predicament. An uneasy feeling comes over me as he shakes out his hair and then fixates a heavy look on me.

"You're going to tell them why you're REALLY here." An order, not a suggestion or a question. "You do it or I will. And if I do it, you won't like how it happens." I shift on my feet, starting to feel how heavy my clothes are getting. Did he just THREATEN me? He shuts off the water and grabs a towel, stepping out and brushing me aside, once again making the area feel much smaller than it actually is.

"Why would you care about that now?" It was confusing that he would be so serious about it after letting it go for so long. He had never seemed to care either way before. He never really cared about anyone knowing anything about him before, much less something that personal. "Unless…" Unless he thinks telling them would make them leave.

I regard him as he dries his hair and then wraps the towel around his waist.

"You know it's true," he states. "Why else would you have waited so long to say anything?" My heart sinks.

"You're underestimating them." I think this way because I believe that they will always be my friends. Another part of me thinks that maybe…

"You're giving them too much credit." Once again he is two steps ahead of me and knows where my mind is. That accuracy makes me want to prove him wrong.

"Or maybe you don't think I can take care of it," I suddenly feel defiant. I'm not ready to give up on my friends so easily either. It was true that they had no borders or tact or anything resembling consideration, but they were still my friends. And they were supportive when I needed them.

He looks at me skeptically.

"Because you're making such great progress." I take a deep breath. It was true, I seemed to be running full speed in the exact opposite direction that I should be going. But I believed that I could work my way through anything if I had a chance to try. I wasn't going to let him take it away now.

"It's only been one day. And Max isn't staying. He has a place on campus. If I play my cards right I can work this out and get Tyson on his way too. Or…" I slump my shoulders and look away, my own idea feeling very 'last resort'. He crosses his arms but his anger moves slightly in the direction of curiosity.

"Or?" He drives me to finish. I smile playfully.

"Or we can move." He rolls his eyes, not really liking the joke.

"You should change before you catch a cold." He moves into his room and over to his dresser.

"It'll be your fault," I complain. I look at the mess at my feet and try to figure a way out. "Hey, can you grab me a clean towel?" I decide that the easiest way out is to shower now and clean it up after I've put on a fresh change of clothes. I hear Kai's door close and know that he has left the room. "Okay, so he's still mad." I sigh. "Great." This was probably punishment.

I contemplate how to approach Kai still being angry while I shower and dress and clean up the bathroom. I also wonder how serious he was about telling Tyson and Max about us. He looked pretty serious. I roll around with what he meant by 'If I do it, you won't like how it happens' in my mind. What would he do? It definitely sounded like a threat. Was he so angry that he felt he needed to threaten me for me to take action? And why did he think that THAT was something that was good enough to use as a threat?

And what do I do now that he's angry with me? Do I leave him alone? Do I go about everything like it's normal? Do I apologize and hope he accepts it? That sounds even stupider than begging him to hear me out. Apologizing for something just to get a positive reaction was not a real apology. I had already apologized once, apologizing over and over again for the same thing would just take away from what an apology was supposed to mean.

Tyson still being there may have been partially my fault but it wasn't something that I needed to constantly be reminded of like a grudge. If he wanted it taken care of that badly, he could do it himself. There was no need to keep blaming ME for it. And Max definitely shouldn't be held against me. It was like I had knocked over a domino and it was still spiraling down the stairs hitting every other domino it managed to touch. Everything was connected but it wasn't like every domino was directly my fault. Why was I letting him make me feel like it was? Just to avoid conflict between us?

I hang up my wet clothes in the shower to dry, then go about picking up Kai's dirty clothes and throwing them in the hamper. The rest of Kai's room looks so neat and empty that I start to feel out of place. He was only really in here to sleep and change and it held no personal characteristics at all. No decorations or pictures or anything that would make you look at it and say 'that's so Kai'. I couldn't say the same about my room.

My room was full of books and presents from my friends and boxes of things that my family had shipped after I had told them I was living somewhere on my own. The boxes were still packed and made my room look more like a storage unit but they held glimpses of me in them. You would know they were mine.

Maybe the difference between us was that Kai held nothing as sentimental or worth keeping around. Did that go for people too?

I wander my way across the bathroom and back into my room.

Should I sleep in my own room? Would he want that? Would that be the normal thing to do right now? I didn't want that. Even if we WERE fighting, I still wanted to be with him.

Mulling over the semantics made me think about whether I really knew Kai as much as I thought I did. In my heart I wanted to believe one thing but my mind was telling me something completely different. But maybe it wasn't MY mind that was talking that way. The voice sounded much more like Tyson's.

Was I letting Tyson get between us already? He'd only been there a few days and I was already starting to doubt myself again.

I shuffle some of the books off my bed and start going through them. Some of them were old and unnecessary and some of them I could still use. I start making piles inside my head as I sort them out. Anything was better than thinking about my troubles.

"What are you doing?" I tense and glance up, trying my best not to show any discomfort as I acknowledge Kai's presence in the doorway.

"Sorting," I reply nonchalantly. The feeling that this action stimulates in me is familiar. It reminds me of how I was when I was still trying to figure out my feelings for Kai. That time when I wouldn't admit that I was in love with him. I couldn't admit it. I needed to ignore the way he made my heart hurt when he was so close and I couldn't yell my feelings out to the world.

"Are you coming to bed?" he asks, and I can tell he's not buying my detachment. He always did see right through my defenses.

I smile and throw everything that I am holding back down on the bed.

"I guess…" I let my words die off. He takes that as an invitation to invade my space and walks over to me.

"Why do you keep so many things that you don't need?" he says as he leafs through the pile of old textbooks I had made. I shrug.

"Never know if I'll need them again. I like being prepared," I assert myself, hoping that I sound believable.

"And this?" He uncovers a drawing I made in Math class last semester while I was struggling over the difference between factoring a polynomial and solving an equation. It was a stick figure, but my feelings about Math were clearly displayed as it was cast across a train track screaming 'order of operations, ahh!' while crying pathetically.

I snatch it from him and crumple it up, not missing his smug smile as I throw it away.

"Well maybe I don't need to keep EVERYTHING…" I turn away from him embarrassed and he lets out a short laugh before going for a similarly terrible drawing buried in my science notebook. I throw my hands over his and lead them away. "How are YOUR studies going anyway?" I hope the shift to his progress will deter any more inquiries into mine. He seems to take the hint as he squeezes my hand and pulls me into motion.

"Come on," he orders lightly, dropping the subject completely. He shuts off the lights as we cross into the bathroom.

"Wait." I pull back but don't drop his hand. He turns around and waits for me to explain the sudden change in my behavior. I fidget. "If we are still…fighting…" I lower my voice when I say the word, as if saying it too loudly will bring about bad luck. After it's out, I regain some of my confidence and go back to a normal tone. "Is it better to leave you alone or is it okay to be around?" I ask because I want to know not because I think I need permission to approach him.

I WAS letting Tyson get into my head again but I didn't want to mess things up if I could prevent it by knowing these things. I shouldn't trust Tyson's choices and I wanted to trust my own but I had somehow ended up on a fence in between both.

I just wanted a clear idea.

I knew Kai HAD boundaries. And I knew that the reason we got along so well was because I didn't cross them. But I didn't know how close I could get and I didn't want to keep testing them to find out. Today had felt like I had blindly walked through one of them and the dejected feeling it created was one I didn't want to repeat.

He seems to think about it. The hesitation is something that I don't like. But he smoothly takes a step closer, dropping my hand to brush his across my neck.

"You're the only one I want around," he says before he kisses me softly. I lean into him, putting my hand down on the sink as it grazes my hip when I brush near it. He pulls away to look at me sternly. "But I'm serious about Tyson. Either you take care of it, or I will."

"I will." I promise.

A few days pass by and I am even more far behind at figuring out how to get rid of Tyson than I was the day he had arrived. I wanted to keep my promise and take care of it but maybe Kai was right…again. Maybe I couldn't do it at all. Then again, maybe he was also right in that all I had to do was tell Tyson the truth. It sounded simple enough. So why was it every time I was faced with him directly that I closed up like a lunch box? It was like trying to explain something serious to a child. You want to do it in a way they understand but aren't scared. It wasn't that complicated to understand. So what was I REALLY afraid of?

The longer I thought about it, the less progress I made. Kai, however, didn't go back on HIS word at all.

"Stop standing so close, I can't concentrate," I hear Tyson say before I enter the kitchen and watch him shove Kai aside, his face fully flushed with embarrassment. A twinge of anger washes through me and for a moment I am taken aback.

"G…good morning," I smile as best I can to cover up my uncertainty of what just happened. Maybe it's just my imagination. It's still early.

"Morning Ray!" Tyson is clueless but Kai knows better. He smirks at me from behind Tyson, telling me something with his eyes, then pushes the other boy out of the way again, taking over the task he was trying to start.

"It would be faster if you just let me show you," Kai replies coolly, which really just makes that twinge of anger grow into something more. He had become quite good at using that tone on me when he was trying to gain control when he wanted it but hearing him use it on somebody else just wasn't right.

"I can do it myself!" Tyson insists, pushing Kai away more fervently, more annoyed than embarrassed this time. "Stop being so weird."

"Yeah, Kai…" I don't hide my discomfort from him at all as I address him with clenched teeth.

"Does he do this to you too, Ray? Who knew he was this hard to live with huh? You see a whole other side of him when he's in your space." Tyson grumbles, trying to make sure Kai doesn't try to help him again. He's just making a pot of coffee, how much help does he really need?

Kai doesn't like this retort and clearly feels like he needs to show just how irritating invading someone's 'space' is but waits before doing anything too obvious. Instead he just hovers like a bird waiting for Tyson to miss a step so he can dive in and steal the prize.

"Yeah…" I can't stop myself from sending them both a glare.

I realized what he was doing because he had done it to me. He was pushing Tyson. He was overwhelming him so that he would feel trapped and want to escape. It had backfired when he had done it to me but would it work on Tyson? I really hoped it would so things could go back to normal but then there was a tiny part of me that wanted the opposite. I wanted Tyson to fight it the way I had and to push back. But then there was a completely different part of me that knew how pushing me that way had ended.

I study Kai as he goes on tormenting Tyson into submission. When I catch a glimmer in his eyes, the jealous part of me realizes something else. Something that Kai would probably never admit.

He was having fun.

Had he had the same expression when it had been me? Was it because he was challenged? He did seem a lot livelier in the past ten minutes than he had the whole past year combined together. Was the reason why I didn't see that look too often now because I wasn't a challenge anymore?

Tyson blushes and the twinge in my chest grows deeper. I scrape away from the table loudly and don't even hide the angry flare in my eyes when both boys stop what they are doing to look back at me.

"I'll be leaving now." I get up, fixating one last disapproving look on Kai before turning away. Could I be any more obvious? Even a blind person could read the jealousy right off my face.

Kai knows, showing me in the way he meets my eyes when he puts the pieces together. He takes a step away from Tyson to show me some respect but he narrows his eyes, offering the challenge to me. It was like taunting me by saying 'Hey, you know what I want. You know how far I can go. Can you handle that?' It was a subtle gesture, one that would be unnoticed by anyone else, but I did catch it before I had turned my back. But it starts something inside of me. Something strong and fierce.

I smirk.

I wanted the competition too.

I just had to figure out how to reach the goal before he did. He wasn't going to win. Not like this anyway.

Tyson, is still clueless to the exchange or Kai's master plan.

"Ray, wait!" He stops me at the door, abandoning the coffee making. "Can I walk out with you? Hiro wants me there a bit early and Kai…" he sends a wary look to Kai as if indicating that he didn't want to be near him for a while. The same way a child would to an overbearing parent. Kai smiles victoriously and I shake my head, still a bit angry.

"Sure, but I am leaving now," I answer flatly before he goes on to explain.

"Awesome! I'm ready!" he cheers excitedly and throws his arm over my shoulders, leading me down the hallway. "So, can I ask you something?" he goes on after a short silence.

"Sure," I repeat in the same flat tone.

"Do you sleep?" The question sounds innocent enough but I sense there is something different that he was really trying to ask.

"Yeah, why?" I try not to let on that I know where this is probably leading.

"Just wondering why you're never in your room at night…" I tense. You mean somebody actually noticed? Maybe this was good. Maybe it was an opportunity to tell him the truth. Maybe it was my way of getting everything out in the open. Maybe…

"You check?" Kai asks, letting us know that he isn't that far behind us in our travels to leave and halting any thoughts of opening up about us. Well played, Kai. Well played. We stop walking and I glance back at him as Tyson drops his arm from my shoulders and turns around.

"Yeah! Sometimes I wanna talk!" Tyson smiles.

"With me?" I ask curiously. Not that it is a strange thing, it just seemed strange when he was almost always with Max and didn't seem to care about where the rest of us were or what we were doing.

"Yeah of course!"

"About what?" Kai interrupts again and I try not to be intrigued. Now who's starting to sound jealous? I have to admit I probably would be too if Tyson was insinuating that he looks for Kai after dark in his room. I'm sure Tyson's intentions were innocent enough, but it didn't cover up the fact that looking for anyone after they were supposedly in bed was a little…suspicious.

"Life! I hardly ever see him anymore. I see Max every day when he visits me for lunch and talk to you at work but I don't see Ray much at all. Even when he is home he is hard to find." He turns back to me. "What have you been up to? How's school? You should join us for lunch some time! I get an hour right when you break…"

"I…"

"He's not interested," Kai answers for me.

"Are you Ray's keeper now?" He pushes Kai in a playful way, forgetting his earlier discomfort, then starts walking backwards in front of him as Kai seems to be done with this conversation and wants to move on ahead of us. "You're very controlling ya know?" I start walking with them again as Tyson continues to taunt him. "Just because he lived with you first doesn't mean he belongs to you. You can even come too if you like! Then we can all catch up with Ray!" Tyson misses a step and stumbles and I move quickly to catch him and put him back on his feet.

"Walk or talk, don't attempt both," Kai replies, getting bored. He reaches past both of us rather suddenly (and a little too close to Tyson) to grab his work things, causing Tyson to lose his footing again and fall to the floor before I can catch him a second time. I send Kai another wary look before I help Tyson up again.

"Hey! Maybe we should all leave together since we all seem to be ready!" Tyson suggests as Kai opens the door to leave.

"I have to stop somewhere before work," Kai shuts him down.

"Where?" Tyson and I ask together. Kai studies us both briefly before wordlessly walking out the door and closing it.

"Good-bye to you too!" Tyson yells scornfully. I laugh and gather my school bag and coat, making sure Tyson grabs his too.

"Come on, let's just go." I usher him out the door as well. "We can talk about 'life' on the way." He bounces back like nothing had happened previously and excitedly jumps on board with that idea.

"Awesome!" He waits until we are on the bus and on our way before going on with what he really wanted to discuss with me. "I wanted to talk to you about Max…"

"Max? Is he okay?" I am not sure if it something I should feel concerned about or something I should roll my eyes for. With Max it could go either way.

"Yeah he's fine! He was thinking of running for one of those election thingies at school and asked for some help so I told him to ask you! Since you go to the same school and all and kinda know how that stuff works better. But since I saw you first I thought I would help him out by asking instead. If that's okay…" He suddenly seems nervous and I instantly try to make him more comfortable.

"Yeah that's fine. Whatever he needs help with." I smile for added effect and he seems to soften.

"You're the best! I'll let him know! Thanks!"

"No problem…" I pause, wondering how much trouble I could get myself into if I continued the way my nature wanted me to. I take the chance anyway, because...well…it's hard to fight nature. "You know you guys can ask me for anything."

"I'll be sure to remember that later!" he gives me his gratitude and then goes on with his 'catching up' questions. All of which I give short, non-descriptive answers to. It wasn't that I wanted to keep avoiding telling him, it was more like I would rather tell him and Max when they were together. Having THE conversation seemed much easier to do once and just be done with it. But now I had a reason to be around the other two, which just left me with coming up with a plan. And having Kai as a witness wouldn't be too bad either. I wanted to see the look on his face when I accomplished what he thought I wouldn't. So I needed a time, place, and a manner in which to deliver. I would have to find Max too, so I could organize a meeting where all of us were together.

I am also curious as to why Max suddenly wanted to run for an office position at school. It seemed really ambitious and very un-Max. Not that Max wasn't ambitious. He just wasn't ambitious in that way. Hopefully if I saw him later I could find out.


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade.

Chapter 3: Crash

I stir to the quiet sound of typing. Which isn't so common in the morning. Kai goes to the library to work because he can disappear there. If he has some work to finish up at night he sometimes brings it to bed with him but this was a bit unusual.

I don't move right away, letting myself settle into the sound and his presence. It was also rare to wake up and have him still be in bed. I started to wonder if he was dressed yet and if I could add that to my list of rarities that were happening today.

But then I wonder if the reason is because something is wrong and my eyes snap open, falling onto a cup of tea on the side table in front of me. How thoughtful.

I take in the rest of the plain walls and furniture before I close my eyes again briefly.

"You should get some stuff for the walls," I mumble sleepily. The typing continues at the same steady rhythm and I start to wonder if maybe I am actually dreaming. Or maybe I hadn't really spoken out loud.

"Why?" Suddenly comes a reply and I smile before I roll over to face him.

"Character," I answer. He sends me a dry look and I smile wider. "Why are you working in here anyway?" I look him over and find him to be half dressed. He's wearing pants but the shirt he has on is still unbuttoned and open, revealing his muscular chest.

"I need to discuss something with you." Uh-oh. I stop ogling him long enough to push myself up and unconsciously wrap the sheets around me protectively.

"Is this about Tyson? Because I need to discuss something with you too." I wanted to ask about what had happened yesterday. I wanted to know what he was thinking. He probably already knew all this and wanted me to figure it out on my own but I had thought we were past all the games by now. Then again, maybe he liked the games.

"No." He closes his computer and sets it aside on the table.

"No, it's not about Tyson? Or no, you don't want to discuss it with me?" Sometimes pulling information out of him was like a job. We didn't seem to have these problems when Tyson wasn't in the picture. Which just gave me another reason why this situation was getting to be too much. It was like we were moving backwards instead of forwards.

"No, it's not about Tyson." He folds his legs underneath of him and sits up straight so he can face me. I relax and drop the sheets a little so that they loosen and fall off my shoulder a bit.

"Oh." For a moment I wonder what it could be but for some reason I don't think that it is as important as my own issue. I put my hands down in front of me and lean forward as if to get his attention, even though I already have it. "Well, CAN we talk about Tyson? Because I think I need to make some ground rules…" He rolls his eyes.

"Ray." He warns. I know he's going to talk me away so I decide to annoy him into listening.

"I love it when you talk rough," I tease.

"Ray." Less warning but still in a cautionary tone.

"Just listen a minute," I wave off his warnings and crawl into his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, pulling the sheet with me and over his shoulders. He looks at me annoyed but doesn't move or remove me. I stare at him, nose to nose, having a silent conversation with just our eyes. I know he's fighting to keep control and I wait for him to say my name one more time in that demanding parental tone. If he did I would have backed off. Third time's the charm, right?

But he doesn't and I wonder just how much power he has given me over him. And even though I had been winning, I falter and look away. There was something intimidating about knowing I could influence him, even if it was just a little bit. He must have felt the same way because he grabs my arm as if he is going to push me off.

But he doesn't do that either.

His grip on my arm tightens and I meet his eyes again, then it loosens and he moves forward.

"I just wanted to talk," he replies quietly, as if to salvage any dignity he had left before he brings our bodies together and kisses me hungrily. He lowers me onto the bed and I let him hover over me and straddle me as he takes me in with another strong kiss. And somehow his words make me feel bad and I suddenly wish I could take it back and let him say what he had to say.

"What…was it...you wanted…to talk about?" I try and be focused as his lips and hands move to take control of my body. He mumbles an unclear reply and continues to kiss me with a passion only he can muster. I allow my body to respond but I still protest a little before he mumbles something else and then…

"Maybe we should talk about Tyson."

I don't take long to push him away.

"Now you're just being unfair," I respond derisively. I understand that I was the one who was insistent on it but it wasn't exactly the best subject to bring back when my body was starting to have a mind of its own and only wanted one thing, namely Kai. I never wanted to picture Tyson in that situation…ever. He smirks at my reaction.

"At least we can agree on some things," he says before sitting up and crossing his arms. He doesn't move from his spot across my thighs, making sure to keep me pinned where I am.

"This is some kind of torture for bringing it up, isn't it?" I reply dryly. "I just wanted to know what your intentions were." It would be like him to use my own tactics against me and it was hard to ignore how uncomfortable I was now. He definitely had taken back control. "When I saw you flirting with Tyson I didn't know what to think."

"I wasn't flirting with Tyson," he rolls the words off his tongue as if just saying them conjured a bad taste in his mouth.

"You used the tone," I insist. He scrunches his brow to indicate that that statement is even worse.

"I was doing an experiment," he explains before he leans back over me, placing his hands at my sides on the bed. My skin itches, knowing he's so close and just wanting to be touched again even despite my agitation.

"Was it the same type of experiment that you were doing on me?" I press, still not satisfied.

"Are you really jealous of Tyson right now?" He makes a motion with his head that indicates how unnecessary it is to tell me this but he goes on anyway. "I have to deal with him at work AND home now, so I want to gain a little freedom if this is all supposed to work out." He brushes any further explanation off and lowers his face close to mine again so I can feel his breath on my ear before he licks my neck. "Do you really think that I would do this to Tyson?"

I press my hands to his stomach as if to keep him from getting any closer.

"Ew, stop. I don't want to think about that…" I close my eyes in an attempt to block any images from forming but the seed is already planted. When I open them again I can't ignore his enjoyment of my misery.

"Then, don't." As if it is that easy. He moves forward with his advances, brushing over my skin lightly with his hand and I wonder if he's trying to help me erase the thoughts or if he just wants me to shut up. He's close to achieving both of these things but I try to stay persistent.

"We still need to discuss this." I push forward on his stomach gently to regain his attention.

"If you did what I asked to begin with, none of this would matter. I just decided to make things more interesting," he continues with a partially suggestive tone. My sad attempt to stop him remains hopeless when he moves back slightly to kiss my nose and nuzzle my face un-phased, causing me to shift awkwardly beneath him in one last effort to ward him off so we can finish talking.

"More interesting?" I intended to sound serious but he goes to kiss me again and my eyes slip closed and my lips are drawn to his without objection.

"The longer you wait the worse it'll get. I told you I wouldn't make it easy for you," he whispers into my ear. Worse? I'm not too sure about anything right now and he isn't helping much. Was he just accepting that Tyson was staying and adapting to that by forcing Tyson to establish some boundaries? When I thought about it that way, it made sense. But what if it was more than that? Was he purposely dangling these thoughts so that I would counter?

My eyes re-open and I try once again to reclaim control of the situation and get more information out of him. I had too many questions and I wanted to know just what this 'experiment' was supposed to be accomplishing.

"I'm confused. What are you...ah!" I flitch when he moves his lower body against mine skillfully, making the rest of my body react and heat up instantly. I flush and my concentration temporarily wavers as the electrical impulses vibrate through me, telling me that they already know that all my struggling is useless and I should just give up already. I can't control the groan that slips out or the way my body continues to respond to his and he doesn't hide his approval of this as he works his way under my pajamas.

"Just…" he pauses for effect. "Stop being upset. I gave you a way out."

"Okay…" His words are all lost as he goes on to further stimulate me with his touches and movements and I am completely bended to his will. He could have told me anything at that point and I would have agreed without any second thoughts (or even first thoughts). Everything we had just discussed (which wasn't really all that much anyway) is erased from my memory and the only thing that's left is Kai.

A noise in the hallway a few hours later wakes both of us up out of the bubble we had thought we were in. We both tense and listen but the noise doesn't sound again and everything else is quiet. Kai's weight at my side seems to get heavier for a moment and then he moves away to gather his clothes.

"What time is it?" I question, shaking the drowsiness of having slept most of the morning away off. He looks at his watch.

He starts to answer but another noise stops him briefly. Another silence follows and things move forward.

"We slept too much," he says instead of the time.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" I ask curiously as he pulls his clothes back on.

"Yeah, and now I'm late."

"You're never late…" I muse absently. He looks at me sharply and I withdrawal a little. "Sorry…" He softens.

"It's not entirely your fault," he re-assures. At least I choose to take it as a re-assurance even if it does come off a bit dismissive.

"Can't you just forget your obligations for a day?" I hate to sound like I am begging but I really wanted him to stay.

"It's a nice thought," he shoots down my proposal. I reach over and rub his back.

"One day won't kill you," I try again.

Voices travelling down the hallway interrupt, coming through the walls muffled but audible.

"We have SO MUCH work to do!" Tyson.

"So what exactly am I here for?" Kenny.

"Brains!" A zombie. Wait. Max.

I exchange a look with Kai and sit up.

"I refuse to feel like I am doing something wrong in my own house," he announces.

"But it's such a rush when doing the wrong thing turns out so right." He gives me a dark, deadpanned look and I pout. "I know. I'm on it. I'll tell them right now. Just give me my pants," I move up next to him at the side of the bed. Maybe it was the fact that we had slept in together or maybe it was something else but telling them suddenly didn't seem so tragic. It was like nothing could ruin my day now so I might as well just do it and fix whatever issues it was creating between us.

"You have five minutes." He hands me my pajamas and goes into the bathroom to straighten himself up before he could venture out into a house full of unwanted guests. Something in his tone made telling them seem more urgent so I forget all about discretion and wander out into the hallway with just my pants on and my hair still a mess. Five minutes. Five minutes. Five minutes or what? Was this an ultimatum?

"Good morning, Ray! Did you get enough sleep?" Max is so kind. I wonder why Kai dislikes having him around. It's like waking up to a ray of sunshine every morning.

"Did you just wake up? It's almost 2..." Leave it to Tyson to notice the obvious.

"Sorry to intrude, I was told it was an emergency." Kenny is still my favorite.

"It IS an emergency! These posters won't make themselves! Ray, you gotta help too. Maybe after you get dressed." Thanks Tyson.

"Guys." I gather up all the courage inside of me, which, quite frankly in the (now panicked) state I am in, isn't much.

"He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to. I'm sure the three of us can get it done…" Max is always accommodating. He would make a good sales person. Come on, Ray. Stop getting distracted.

"Guys, listen. There's something I have to tell you." I take a deep breath. It's just like ripping a band-aide off. I just gotta do it.

"Are you sick?" No, Tyson, I'm not sick. But I might be if I don't just get this over with.

"It's something important but I don't want you to be upset." Yeah that'll lessen the blow. I fight an urge to roll my eyes at my own words.

"Maybe you should go back to bed if you're sick." Great suggestion, Max. But we've already established that I'm not sick…yet.

My stomach tightens as the pressure washes over me and I suddenly feel like it's now or never. Whatever Kai had planned was going to happen any second and I couldn't hold it off. But looking at their concerned and waiting faces, I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. Kai's door opens and my adrenaline rises. This might have been my last chance to prove him wrong about me and about them so I just had to...

"Kai and I…"

Kai comes out of his room, laptop in one hand, a cup in the other. Without a word or acknowledgement to the others he walks over to me and kisses me on the cheek before handing me the cup.

"You forgot your tea," he says before he walks down the hallway and leaves.

Everything is completely silent for a few minutes. I can feel my heart pulsing in my ears and a part of me wonders if the others can hear it too. For a while we just stare at each other, nobody knowing exactly what they should say. I can't read their faces or reactions because…they have none. It was like time had frozen us all in place. My eyes fall on Tyson, expecting him to be the first to break out of it but even he seemed more spaced out than usual.

"Tea is good for sickness," Max pops in finally, setting the world back into motion. "But it looks cold. Maybe you should heat it up." He smiles. Tyson takes a deep breath in and nods as if to confirm what a good idea that is.

"Yeah. I'll do that." I take a final scan across their faces and step away from them, disappearing behind the wall in the hallway and headed for the kitchen.

"Congratulations!" Tyson yells at my departure. I hear something hit him. I stop walking and lean against the wall, all of the nerves I had built up dissipating in one big swoop. And then I feel exhausted so I slink down the wall to the floor.

"He's not having a baby, Tys." Max scolds him in a manner showing that I wasn't meant to hear.

"What should I say then, if you're so smart?" Tyson responds in a similar way.

"Just...not that…"

"I'm still not sure what's going on. Is he coming back to help?"

"Let's just get this started. We don't have a lot of time before I have to go," Kenny butts in before they can get too off track.

I look at the cold cup of tea I am still holding and laugh to myself. I knew Kai was wrong about them. What had I been so afraid of?

I pick myself up carefully and go to discard my cup in the kitchen sink but something Tyson says stops me.

"I wonder if Ray will be less busy when Kai goes out of town." Out of town? He had said he wanted to talk but he hadn't mentioned anything about leaving. In fact, he hadn't even hinted at it. Had this been what he had wanted to discuss all along? How had I let it slip by without listening to him?

"How long is he going away for?" Max asks casually. I take a step closer to them but stay hidden behind the wall.

"I dunno, Hiro said sometimes they can be gone for two months!"

"Two months?" I squeak then cut myself off, imagining two months without Kai. Sure it didn't seem like a big deal, considering we had been apart for longer periods of time, but after living together for over a year and sharing a bed at night, two months sounded devastating. It was something that struck me a bit harder than it probably should have.

Tyson goes on ranting for another 20 minutes about how unfair it is to have to work with his brother AND get picked on by Kai, but Max and Kenny lead him back to their project of Max's election posters before he can get too carried away.

I don't really listen, zoning the rest of them out as I go on with my own frantic thinking. How far away was he going? Was he really going for two whole months? Why hadn't I let him just talk when he wanted to talk? Was Tyson really a more important subject? Of course thinking about it now, if I had known it was something like that I never would have let us get so far off base. I certainly wouldn't have ended up here.

"What do ya think, Ray?" Somehow in my worried musings I had managed to throw out my cup of cold tea, dress, and return to join the others in the living room as they worked. Nobody had given me much consideration until now.

"How long has he known…" I mutter, still lost in my own world.

"Who?" Max looks at me confused.

"He's asking about the poster, Ray! Is it flashy enough?" Tyson pipes in, popping a poster with bright orange lettering in front of my face. "Does it scream 'vote for me, I'm the best!'? Does it?!" He pushes the poster closer and I shield my eyes from the instant headache that wants to form.

"Oh yeah. Totally. I can't even take how glorious it is…" I say half sarcastically, half teasing. Tyson grins almost as bright as the poster.

"I told you! This was a great idea!" He turns back to Kenny as if to challenge him.

"I think he is just being nice…" Kenny tries to talk him down. "We need more than just words. We need a slogan or something appealing to the needs of the students."

"I told him he needed a picture too!" Tyson adds enthusiastically.

"I'll come back later." I stand to exit.

"Wait! There's one more…" Tyson picks up a different poster, just as obnoxious in color, and just as plain.

"Ahh, so awesome. So great that I am not worthy of being in the same room with it. Gotta go." I rush out, taking a page from their book of exits and hoping the exposure was not long enough to result in an actual headache.

I go to the back porch for solace and to collect my thoughts. In the back of my mind I listen for the door opening announcing Kai's return but in the quiet I just take the time to calm myself down. I had promised myself that I wouldn't jump to conclusions anymore. Since, frankly, I was usually wrong.

Every now and then I hear an eruption of laughter followed by Kenny yelling something to convince them that it still isn't right yet.

I sigh.

I almost don't register his presence when he DOES get home and comes out to sit down next to me without a word. I am unsure if I should speak or wait until he says what he has to say. At first we just sit in silence, catching the reflection of the sun setting across the water of the pool.

"I tried to fight it," comes his reply after a while. I don't respond or even acknowledge him, concentrated on the colors as they start to change. "I wanted to tell you yesterday but things..." A pause. "I didn't want you to hear it from him first." A little late for that now…

"How long?" I demand without much strength, watching the dim oranges and pinks swirl into dark purples and blues. "Just tell me it isn't 2 months." Tyson had been guessing but there was no way of really knowing how inaccurate he was. Sometimes he got lucky and was right when making those leaps.

"It's not. It's 4." I turn to look at him abruptly, unable to decide between feeling angry, sad or surprised, or a mixture of all three. "Days." He smirks. I scowl. The tragedy seems to fade and I push him for toying with me. He catches my arm before I can take my hand away again and pulls me to his chest, wrapping his other arm around my shoulders and bringing me in close.

"Four days isn't so bad…" I ponder, spreading my fingers out so I can lace them between his.

"Less than a week," he replies absently. For some reason it sounds out of place even though it is completely relevant. Probably just because it IS so relevant. In the recent weeks I had noticed the little changes in him. His comfort in just saying and doing what he felt. Things he wouldn't even think about doing before, especially in the presence of somebody else. Things that only I got to witness.

"Kai?" I go to tell him my thoughts, a sudden swell of emotion gathering and giving me courage to follow through. After everything that had been happening between us, it started to feel like something I had to do, just so if he left I knew I didn't have to guess whether he was coming back.

"Ray! Is dinner ready yet?!" Tyson bellows down the hallway from inside, interrupting the moment and sending all my courage back down to my stomach in a huge knot. I roll my eyes.

"Why don't you just grab it yourself?!" I yell back annoyed.

"You think that is a good idea?" Kai raises a questioning look.

"He has to learn somehow," I shrug.

"I guess you wanna go out to eat?" his disagreement doesn't waver. I laugh and move away from him.

"Alright, alright. I'm going." I stand up and make my way back inside. "I'll be right there! Don't touch anything!" I yell.

Four days huh? I'm sure it won't be that bad at all…


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade.

Chapter 4: Space

"You should be a chef, Ray. You always make great food," Max praises as we all go about eating our dinner. I wouldn't really say it was my best work but I managed to salvage enough to feed everyone, including our guests. He has a silly grin on his face while he's saying this and it is silly enough to make me doubt how genuine the statement is anyway. I don't point out my disbelief or the irony in the statement as well, considering how long I had been working at a restaurant. I do exchange a look with Kai, who has noted the irony and feels my pain.

"So how are the posters coming?" I distract him from continuing to say things that make too much sense. Kai raises an eyebrow in interest, having been unaware of the earlier developments with the elections and the poster debacle.

"They still need some work…" Kenny responds before Max can interject his progress report. Max makes a sound of protest and his face falls before he bounces up energetically.

"What are you talking about Kenny? I think they're clever!" he defends himself.

"Well I admit that the slogan was a big step in the right direction but the one you settled on still comes off a little…biased," Kenny answers, shifting his gaze to Tyson as if he's the cause. Tyson ignores him or doesn't seem to notice because he doesn't react at all in a way that cries retaliation.

"How so? It's catchy!" he cheers instead, sharing a victory smile with Max. Kenny isn't convinced and continues to disapprove.

"What slogan?" I ask curiously. I had missed most of the planning, being preoccupied with other things, so I hadn't been around when it was finally decided. Kenny hesitates.

"Um…You should just see it for yourself…" he avoids eye contact with me and shuffles the last remnants of food left on his plate around in uneasiness.

"That bad?" Kai throws his ounce of care into the conversation. I exchange another look with him and smile, sensing where he was trying to lead. Seeing Kenny flip out and chastise Tyson was always a great way to spend the day. It was nice that one of the three of them had enough sense to at least attempt to keep things stable. Without him I bet those two would get into some serious trouble. Not that they don't do that anyway, but I can only imagine how much worse it could be.

"Well it, um…"

"No way! It's awesome! Don't let him fool you. You just have to see it with the picture to get the reference," Max defends his posters once again.

"Yeah! Kenny's just upset that he wasn't the one who thought of it," Tyson nudges Kenny as if to get him to admit his real feelings.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure," Kenny sighs, not wanting to start a fight with either of them. Kai shrugs, not receiving the outcome he had desired and loses his interest in the matter.

"What made you decide to run anyway, Max?" I steer the conversation away again before Kenny can get too uncomfortable.

"Politics are important to business!" Max exclaims forcefully, as if reading it right off of an ad campaign. The reply in general confuses me and I look at him in concern. Business? I thought he was majoring in mechanics…

"What?" I send him a blank stare, hoping it would be enough to convey my feelings. He sighs and his demeanor softens to one that shows more disappointment than encouragement.

"I wasn't going to but I sorta…got talked into it. Then I got caught up and before I knew it, I was stuck. But once I started to get into actually planning it and everything, it was kinda fun!" his face changes once more, back to the original excitement and enthusiasm.

"So you weren't expecting to go through with it?" I am still a little out of the loop and hope I can at least get a better understanding of his motives before I get too into helping him. If he really wanted to win, it would take a bit more of an effort than if he was just doing it on some random whim.

"Not really…but now I want to! There's people depending on me and I think I can really change some things to make everyone feel better!" He raises his voice dramatically and almost sounds hysterical.

"You can do it, Max!" Tyson joins in and they share a high five. Kenny sighs heavily and I share another look with Kai at how hopeless those two were. Poor Kenny…

"Well since you two seem to have this under control now, I'll take my leave." Kenny stands and offers a courteous salute to Kai. "Thanks for the hospitality," he says before making his exit.

"Hey wait! We still need you!" Tyson jumps up to go after him.

"Ray's free now and I have my own work that I need to do. I will see you guys tomorrow." He continues down the hallway with Tyson in tow, but manages to get Tyson's approval before he leaves. Max stands up and starts to collect our empty plates and I look over at Kai as he moves to leave as well.

I watch him carefully as he gets up and he turns back a second to catch my eye. After a minute of silent expression between us, he nods as if confirming my unasked question of him going off to work on some things by himself.

"I don't think I'm the only one," he replies and I smile weakly at the thought. I accept that it is true, knowing that I would be tied up with Tyson and Max for probably a better portion of the evening. Accepting it doesn't make me feel any better though.

"I'll find you later," I reply, hoping he knows that means that I still want to talk before he retires. He nods again and leaves the room.

"You guys have gotten really close. I didn't think it was possible with Kai, but he's different with you." Max's voice surprises me. I had forgotten he was still there. My face slips out of any embarrassing expression I may have had and I blush.

"You think?" I fight any inclination to stutter so that I don't let on how awkward I feel. He smiles.

"Yeah, you guys have your own conversations without even speaking. It's fun to watch!" He places all the dishes in the sink and starts the water. I didn't think anyone noticed that. Especially since Max and Tyson had both been distracted by their own things.

"Hey, listen. I want to help you any way I can but you should be open to suggestions too. Kenny isn't usually too far off base. And he really does want to help you." I change the subject back to something safer. I catch a frown as he continues washing the dishes.

"Yeah I know. Tyson was just so happy about it. I didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't appropriate." I nod in understanding and walk over to help him dry. That was the second time I had underestimated him since he'd been showing up here. Maybe I didn't know Max as well as I thought I did.

"He's been having trouble at work. He probably needed the victory," I elaborate his justification so that he knows I understand and doesn't have to explain further.

"Yeah. And you don't have to help if you're busy, ya know," he smiles at me again and I send him one back to reassure him.

"It's no problem. What are friends for? Maybe we can find a better way to let Tyson down so that you both can win."

It wasn't a problem at all. And he needed it. Tyson's 'great idea' had been a picture of Max with Tyson's hat on backwards, with baggy pants and a toothpick in his mouth next to a slogan that read 'Don't be a phony, vote for me and I'll be your homie'. Which…might have worked for Tyson but this wasn't fifth grade and College elections were a much more serious platform. After distracting Tyson long enough to dispose of them, we started over and managed to come up with three posters that were fairly decent and much more mature. When we were finishing up the last one, Kai actually came in to join us. Although he didn't give any input or comment on any of it.

"Hey Kai, since you're here, do you know what Hiro meant by that thing he said about the meeting on Monday?" Tyson asks casually, taking a seat near him as me and Max go about cleaning up the clutter we'd all made. Well, to be honest, that wasn't EXACTLY what he said but there were words in there that I had never heard before so it just translated that way. I'm surprised Tyson could say those words, let alone remember them long enough to ask about later. Kai goes on to try to explain it to him in simpler terms but I stop listening when Max starts talking to me.

"Thanks for the help, Ray. I don't think I could have gotten out of that mess without you here." He places the finished posters carefully in a pile by the door so they won't get messed up and he can collect them when he leaves.

"You're really into this aren't you?" I ask while I pick up a few stray scraps of paper from the floor. He had said he was having fun with it but there was something else in the way he was taking so much time and effort into making everything good enough. He smiles and gives me a little shrug.

"It makes me feel important I guess," he replies before going back to wiping down the tables and removing any glue and tape spots left behind. I almost miss the insinuation and the self-deprecation in his voice but the words make me stop what I am doing to look up at him.

"You're always impor…"

"You're an idiot Tyson, you should know better than that," Kai raises his voice to an uncomfortable level and takes the attention away. Tyson huffs and throws his hands on his hips as he stands up angrily.

"What do you mean? I've never done anything like this before. Gimme a break!" He waves Kai off and sticks his nose in the air dismissively.

"With that attitude I don't think you need to ask for a break, they'll give you a permanent one." Kai shakes his head and crosses his arms.

"What? No way! I can't mess up again. You gotta help me Kai!" Tyson flops his shoulders down tiredly and plops back down next to Kai. "Let's try again. I'll be serious this time!" Kai ignores him and for a minute I think he's going to get up and leave. Tyson grabs on to his arm to prevent that, probably thinking the same thing and a twitch of anger bites through me. I know Kai had said that there was nothing to worry about with Tyson, but every time he and Tyson shared something that I wasn't a part of it felt like I was being punched in the face. There isn't really a reason or any way to make that different but it didn't change how I felt. Between them having something in common that I wasn't a part of and seeing Tyson (once again) get away with doing things that anyone else would get dismissed from instantly, I couldn't stop myself.

Before I let the resentment grow too much bigger, I decide to leave the room. So I drop everything I am holding into the trashcan and exit. There was no sense in letting myself get carried away into something I would regret later. Whether it was something I would say to Tyson or something I would say to Kai, I could feel that SOMETHING was definitely not a thing I wanted on my conscience later.

"Ray?" I hear Max inquire as I go. Tyson responds unconcerned.

"He probably just had to go to the bathroom… Are you guys finished?! I wanna see!"

Later when I was settling into bed with some last minute reading assignments and Kai entered without a word of acknowledgement I realized that there was a deeper issue underneath just the one involving Tyson. He just went about his business as usual and on some hidden level of resentment inside of me, that bothered me. I started to realize that the problem wasn't being jealous of anyone getting closer to Kai, it was Kai being Kai. The more Kai acted like Kai, the angrier I became. I wanted to believe that I was special but was anyone really special when it came to Kai? There was still that part of me that didn't trust him.

After thinking about all that, my mind was consumed and just swam around one thought. What was going to happen when Kai left?

 _One._

It's only four days, it's not that serious.

 _Two_.

This is Kai's house, it's not like he would just leave and not come back.

 _Three_.

Kai is a free spirit, he does what he wants.

 _Four_.

What if he gets a taste of freedom and decides...?

 _Five_.

What am I even thinking? I know Kai better than that...

 _Six_.

But then why is he acting like he DIDN'T just tell me he was going away?

For the first time in probably my entire life, I awoke before Kai. Mostly because I hadn't really slept at all. Rather than disturb Kai with my restlessness, I decided to get up and wandered my way in to the gym where I was now working out my problems one lift at a time.

 _Fifteen._

How can he be so calm?

 _Sixteen_.

This feels too much like the last time he left.

 _Seventeen_.

And what's all this business with Tyson?

 _Eighteen_.

Should I really not be worried?

 _Nine_ …

"Argh!" I lose my concentration and slip, twisting my shoulder in a way it should never be twisted. As I drop the weights, something collides into me and pushes me out of the way of their falling as I land on a mat nearby. When I get ahold of my surroundings and the fact that I do not have any broken toes, I open my eyes and find Tyson sprawled out on top of me.

He smiles, red faced and nervous, and quickly scrambles away, making sure not to hurt me in any way before he gets up and offers me a hand.

"Hey there!" he greets. "Are you okay?" I let him help me up and brush myself off, checking myself for any scrapes, bruises, or any other injuries that may have happened during the whole incident.

"Where did you come from?" I ask, some of the resentment from last night lingering in my tone a little. He laughs and takes his cap off, nervously running a hand through his hair and replacing it. He hadn't worn the cap since he had arrived and seeing him wear it now made me think that he hadn't changed much at all over the past few years.

"Sorry about that. I came in a while ago to get some training in. I tried to get your attention but you were really concentrated! When you slipped, I rushed to help but tripped and fell instead. But I guess it was lucky for both of us! Those look really heavy…" He eyes the weights on the floor with disdain.

"Yeah I guess…"

"You sure you're okay?" He sends me a concerned look and I stretch and flex my arms a few times just to be certain. I decide that Tyson shouldn't be blamed for my own personal issues and I wave it off, letting the grudge slip away too. It's kinda hard to stay mad at Tyson for too long, even if you want to.

"Yeah. Sorry I didn't notice you sooner. I was wondering if…" I stop myself, second guessing how comfortable he would be talking openly about my relationship with Kai. Sure he and Max seemed okay on the surface but directly confronted with it, it might be a different story. I don't know why I was still concerned about it now that they had witnessed Kai's exchange with me yesterday but they say old habits die hard, right?

"You can say it," he acknowledges my hesitation. "We already knew." He shuffles on his feet and takes an unconscious step back, giving me a half smile of assurance. "Kinda. Hilary told us before she left for studying abroad. We didn't really believe her. Well, we didn't really NOT believe her, but we didn't BELIEVE her believe her either. If you know what I mean…" His half smile fades to more of a quarter smile as he seems to be holding something else back. He chooses not to look directly at me and his shuffling becomes more obvious. I don't say anything, knowing that the silence alone will push him to continue. He was a lot easier to crack than Kai was in that way. "When I saw Kai's file in Hiro's office I came to check it out for myself. I told Max that even though he didn't get the job that he should come too."

Didn't get the job? What job? What else had been going on in my absence that I wasn't aware of? And why didn't anyone say anything about it?

A little of his normal composure resurfaces and he takes a step closer, making sure that I am still listening. "We didn't mean any harm. We were just curious. Even after I got here and found you together I still thought maybe she was playing a big joke on us. Like maybe she knew you were schooling here with Kai and used it to make up some weird story. She's crazy sometimes, ya know? But then…" He sighs and rolls his head as if he is explaining a long journey to me so I that can picture it inside my head. "I saw your room."

"That's why you were being so weird at breakfast the other day," I go back to how uncomfortable he had acted that day and how strange it had seemed at the time.

"Yes and no. A lot of that was Kai's fault. He was hovering and…" He mumbles a few words I don't hear and rolls his eyes. Then, he looks back up at me and I know he's being honest. "You have to understand, it isn't anything disrespectful. It's just…different. Things aren't supposed to change like that so quickly." His entire expression changes before he says "Are you really sure?" and for a moment I think he asking me if I am sure about Kai. A question that seemed to come up a lot when I least wanted it to. He looks me over as if he's inspecting me. "That you're okay?" he finishes, and I realize that he had changed the subject instead. I am surprised he had been so serious for as long as he had. He started to look more like himself than he had in the few minutes prior.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I nod. I pick up the weights and move them out of the way as if to prove how fine I really am. I decide that continuing to talk about it, even if I still wanted to know some things, was just asking for another issue so I was just happy that he had said what he did. It made me feel a little better anyway. "Since we're both here, you wanna train together? It's always better with a friend." I turn back and smile and his enthusiasm returns full force along with his ridiculous grin.

"Of course!"

When it came down to it, Tyson wasn't as bad as I always made him sound. He didn't deserve my misplaced anger and he didn't deserve to be treated like a child. He understood more than we ever gave him credit for. I would have apologized but after everything was all said and done, it seemed unnecessary. Tyson was never one to hold a grudge, not that he was even aware enough to know that he should have had one. That's what made Tyson, Tyson.

Thinking Tyson would ever change was just as bad as thinking that Kai would. There was nothing wrong with the way either of them were and nobody is perfect. I was being unfair in thinking that Kai's action were wrong. If he was doing things the way he felt was necessary, then he was doing them the right way. I would just have to accept that his way was not always the way I wanted it to be. And that that didn't mean there was something to be suspicious about.

"Found you!" Max jumps on Tyson in the middle of a table tennis match we had started after training for an hour or so. It had only started because I had taunted him into it by saying he would never be a champion with his sporadic moves. He took the challenge seriously and hadn't given up yet.

He brushes Max off just in time to return the ball too far to the left and send it cascading across the room to get lost under a rack in the corner.

"You made me lose it!" he complains, throwing the paddle down on the table and giving Max a cross look. Max only looks hurt for a second before he pushes Tyson playfully and gives me a 'hello' smile.

"Morning, Max," I smile back. "And it doesn't work like that, Tys. You can't blame other people for your problems."

"Why not?" He brushes Max away again and we all laugh. I decide to let it drop and move on to the newcomer.

"You doing anything else for your campaign, Max?" I steer them to a less combative topic. From Max's reaction, my choice doesn't seem so great though.

"Don't ask. I kinda thought I would take a break today and pick it up tomorrow with a fresh face. I just came to see if Tyson might want to get out of the house with me to see a movie or something. There are a few good ones playing!"

"You don't have to ask me twice!" Tyson bounces up. "Just give me some time to get changed!" He takes off down the hallway in a rush. Max turns back to me.

"You can come if you like. It's an open invitation so you can ask Kai too. But I understand if you're busy." He starts to shuffle his feet in that uncomfortable way that Tyson had earlier and I consider that maybe the happy front wasn't such a paranoid fantasy after all. If their thoughts easily strayed to instances when Kai and I were together, it would make sense that neither of them could look me straight in the eye with those thoughts lingering between us. If the subjects didn't come up or we didn't get too close to each other, everything was like normal.

"It sounds like a great idea." I do my best to distract him from his negative thoughts but I wonder if it would ever be easier if we all kept avoiding talking about it directly. Eventually we would all have to confront it directly so we could move on. "I'll just shower and change real quick too."

He rejoices and pats me on the back.

"I'll go check movie times!" he runs off down the hall too and I start to get excited. I think we could all use that 'break'.

I nod and go about getting ready to leave. I made no effort to find Kai or to ask if he wanted to go too. I just assume he wouldn't be interested and was probably busy with more important things. This is my way of accepting that things are the way they are and I shouldn't always be trying to change or control everything.

I meet the guys outside and we head out.

We see two movies, deciding that after the first one is over that we hadn't had enough, then we get some dinner and are now walking Max back to his room before his curfew.

"That was so fun! We should go out more often. Aren't we supposed to be enjoying this part of our lives instead of being locked behind doors all the time?" Tyson muses when we get to Max's door.

"Hmm, maybe if we were less responsible. Hilary would never let us live it down though," Max replies as he digs in his pockets for his keys.

"Hilary is 500,000 miles away! She would never know!" Tyson turns to look down the hallway. "You're staying here?" He frowns. "There's so many…people." I see what he means when I follow his gaze to the groups of college kids gathered together in the hallway. It was almost loud enough not to hear yourself think and a few of them looked like they'd been sleeping there.

"It's kinda fun. There's always something going on or somebody to go with. They leave each other notes on their doors in codes. I haven't quite figured them out yet though." He continues to dig for his keys and I can sense that he's getting a little frustrated from not finding them.

"Have you made a lot of friends?" I ask. I hadn't thought about what I was missing by not staying on campus, but it did seem like quite a different experience.

"Shoot! I think I left my keys inside again. And my roommate sleeps at his girlfriend's a lot. I won't be able to get in." He tries the door and knocks just to be sure.

"It's fine! Just come back with us again!" Tyson leads him away without waiting to see if anyone decided to answer the door.

"But Kai's…" Tyson hushes him.

"Let me deal with Kai. If he has a problem, I'll fight him for you!" he says proudly, then runs off to look at something. "Hey cool! This place is awesome!"

"I wish I was that easily amused," I mumble with a smile. Max laughs.

"Yeah me too," he agrees. Then he turns to me. "Are you sure Kai won't be mad? He doesn't give me the best reception in the mornings when he sees me." I fight between defending Kai and agreeing with Tyson. A complication that became more and more frequent the more Tyson was around.

"Come on guys! Hurry up!" Tyson urges us forward. "The bus is about to leave!" We both run to catch up. It wouldn't make things any worse. I mean Tyson didn't seem to be going anywhere either.

Once we get back, Tyson and Max run off to Tyson's room and I take a seat in the living room. I wasn't quite ready to listen to the silence yet so I turn on the TV and flip around for something interesting. Tyson and Max come back out to join me about a half hour later but we are all pretty tired from the day's adventures and shortly after they settle in, they fall asleep. Tyson leans on my shoulder, hugging my arm like a pillow and starts to snore lightly. Max falls the other way, draping himself over the arm of the couch. I try to shake Tyson off and guide him in Max's direction but even in his sleep his grip is pretty strong. So I ignore him and concentrate on the TV instead. The tiredness hits me a moment later but before I can drift off to sleep with them, a shadow crosses in front of me, blocking the light from the TV and causing me to look up alarmed.

Kai sits down on the coffee table in front of me.

"Should I be concerned?" he asks eyeing Tyson as he crosses his arms. I look down at Tyson and then back at Kai.

"Of Tyson? I thought we already had this conversation." I smirk, using his own words against him. He doesn't like that too much but doesn't give it any more thought. "Come here." I motion for him to sit next to me on the side that Tyson isn't on. He doesn't move.

"Are you finished being angry with me?" he says, to which I respond by taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

"Can't get anything past you, huh?" I answer a lot more sarcastically than I intended. He drops his arms and stands up to leave. "Wait!" Tyson stirs a little as I go to jump up and I realize that there's a choice here. "Wait." I lower my voice and try my best to slip out of Tyson's grip without waking him. After finding it a bit useless to keep trying with Tyson only gripping harder and falling over me like dead weight the more I struggle, I look back in Kai's direction expecting him to be gone. Instead I find him standing only a few steps away, looking back at me amused. "He's stronger than he looks, okay?" Kai just shakes his head. I relax and let Tyson settle back into place unmoved. "I'm not really angry. At least, I don't think I am. It's…something else." I try to explain it to him but I can't because I don't really understand it myself. "Just…come here." I offer him the empty spot again. He considers it, taking one last look at Tyson and Max before reluctantly coming over and sitting down next to me. He remains distanced and keeps his arms and legs crossed as if protecting himself from showing any signs of weakness in the presence of our friends (even though they can't see it anyway). I don't force an issue out of it and let him have his space but I also want to let him know that he doesn't have to keep up the stoic attitude anymore, so I squeeze his leg. He exchanges a look with me and I smile. "You better call me while you're gone." He nods.

"It won't be long enough for you to even notice my absence."

What a lie that was…


	6. Chapter 5

A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the super long wait. I wish I could say it would be the last time but sadly, life happens. Not that it is really important but I wanted to let you all know that I haven't given up on this story. In fact, I work on it quite often in what little free time I have. The problem is finding that free time. I had originally intended to have it completed before I left for police training but it came a lot quicker than I thought and once it started I was pretty much dead to the world outside of it. So that's where I have been. I still have 7 weeks left and may or may not update again within that time period. BUT, I will absolutely update when I am able and am continuously working hard to finish.

Thanks so so much for the review. It really lifts my spirits to know people still look out for my updates. Makes me feel more terrible when they don't happen in a timely manner but I really appreciate it a lot.

You are the best readers ever.

Also, because of the time gap in posting I felt a little off with how I connected back in to the previous chapters so I may or may not work on making it flow better at a later date by changing a few things. However, I did the best I could and thought I fixed most of the weird kinks. Sometimes I think I am just never satisfied until I have ruined everything. Haha, anyway, enough mindless rambling from me. Enjoy!

Chapter 5: Love Isn't blind, It's Ignorant

"Something is different…" I stand in the middle of the bedroom and look around. Kai is in front of the dresser picking through clothes to pack for his trip. "And I'm not just talking about you owning plaid." I pick up a plaid shirt from a pile of mixed clothes on the floor and turn to face him with a questioning look. He doesn't deviate from his sorting and packing. His departure is first thing in the morning and he has been doing all of his last minute things to prepare. I had been out most of the day and had only just now found time to track him down after dinner was cleaned up.

"That's why it's over there," he states, as if that explains everything. I nod skeptically and walk over to him, holding the shirt out near him as if to help picture what it would look like if he was wearing it. He briefly stops to send me a displeased 'are you really doing that?' look, before shaking his head and closing the dresser drawer. "It was a present." He turns and takes the shirt from me, throwing it back onto the pile. "It's quiet," he moves the conversation on as he zips up the suitcase.

"Hmm, perhaps… But I don't think it's that either," I muse, turning away from him again. I hear him slide the suitcase into a corner and walk back over to me.

"You told me to get something for the wall." He replies indifferently.

"Okay but…what IS that?" I eye the very plain, very old looking picture he has put up above the bed with curiosity. To me it didn't look like much of anything at all. It was almost as if somebody had framed a canvas bought right from the store before actually painting anything on it. If you squinted you could see silhouettes of things that MIGHT be there but the more you looked at it the more it just appeared like nothing.

"What does it look like?" he goads, almost as if reading my train of thoughts.

"Creepy." I say bluntly. Catching it with the corner of my eye instead of full on kind of made it seem possessed by shadows. I had a feeling if I walked by it too fast I might think there was a ghost there.

"Art is in the eye of the beholder," he offers with no further explanation. Being done with the conversation, he goes to walk away but I turn around and catch him by draping my arms over his shoulders. Automatically his hands move to my hips and he takes a small step closer, waiting for whatever it is I have detained him for.

"Maybe…" I start. "But I'm not even sure if it really IS anything at all. When I suggested getting something I was thinking of something a little more personal."

"You mean like one of your drawings?" He tries not to smile but I can still hear the playfulness in his words despite his conviction to sound as somber as possible. I feel a tug at my cheek as I suppress my own smile and give him my best 'this is totally serious' face.

"I meant more personal to YOU," I stress. He makes a tiny motion with his eyebrows that indicates how much he doesn't care and the conversation drops off. I gently run my hand up the back of his neck and through his hair and his eyes drift closed.

"I don't like that it's so quiet," he says lightly. He keeps his eyes closed as I slide my hand back down his neck and massage the sensitive spot between his shoulder blades.

"And here I thought you LIKED the quiet." I let the smile out this time and drift forward, lingering a few inches from his face. "You're full of surprises today." I slow down my words and lower my voice gradually, then bridge the final few inches to kiss him tenderly. He lets out a long sigh and opens his eyes to look at me disapprovingly.

"You are determined to not make this easy aren't you?" he replies dryly. I give him an innocent 'I don't know what you're talking about' look and he shakes his head. "I think I liked it better when you were mad at me."

"I'll add 'joking' to the list," I tease. "But! If it will make you feel better…" I start to shuffle backwards towards the door, bringing him with me. "We can go investigate." I stop when we get to the door and I reach behind me to open it. "And maybe…make it a little LESS quiet…" He studies me curiously.

"What are you up to?" he questions, which only makes me smile wider. Not very many people can say that they ever made Kai confused. I step back into the hallway but he remains planted inside the room so my arms slip down off his shoulders.

"Well, I've been thinking…" He crosses his arms as if he's not convinced and gives me his best 'uh oh, this can't be good' expression. "You said you didn't want to feel like you were doing something wrong." I push, hoping he can pick up on where I am going.

"So…?" He waits for me to explain further and I get the feeling that he's trying to use his demeanor to make me back down from whatever idea he thinks I may have come up with.

"Well, I figured…the best way for everyone to get comfortable, is to make sure everything is fully exposed. We spent a lot of time hiding everything because…well…many reasons, but now there is no reason to continue doing that. We have to start acting more natural. Everything else is just building tension. And I don't mean just with the others. There's been some between us too. And I know a lot of it is my fault and that's what I want to work on, so I thought maybe if I started to BE more comfortable expressing myself, that maybe it would help me FEEL more comfortable too. Which in turn would make YOU feel more comfortable and so on and so forth… I want it to work for everybody." I frown a little. "And I wanted to make sure you missed me while you are gone."

"I thought you didn't want to alienate anyone," he returns sternly, but almost in a challenging way. His words are true, but after seeing both Tyson and Max get a bit uncomfortable when facing our relationship, I didn't want to end up doing exactly what Kai had been trying to avoid. Which was, letting them make us feel like we had to keep hiding everything. If it were up to me, I would go on hiding forever but knowing that Kai was not the type to hide I was simply making a choice to let him know I was there to support him. The line had been blurred up until now and I wanted to make a clearer decision about which side I wanted to be on.

"I am more concerned with not alienating you. Which I feel that I may be doing unintentionally…" I drop off a little, unsure if he understands or if he is considering whether or not he wants to participate. I had seen his own reluctance to act the way he wanted when we weren't alone as well. In a way I felt like I was also doing him a favor. One, because if he felt more confident he would feel less trapped. And two, he would have another way to make everyone else more uncomfortable than he was. Which, in turn, would give him back his pride. "Come on, Kai. It's not like you to hesitate." I taunt with a sly smirk. There had been many reasons why I considered this to be a great idea but the most prominent was the fact that I was offering Kai something he craved as much as I did. Now all I had to do was make him understand the contest. "Don't you wanna know which one of us will break under the pressure of prying eyes first?" I can almost see those little wheels inside his head break when he decides that he's done letting me toy with him. He takes my challenge on by dropping his arms to grab mine and push me backward roughly and with quite a loud 'THUD' as my body impacts the wall behind me. I practically purr, feeling like I had accomplished my goal, and graciously accept him as he drives forward to kiss me passionately.

"What was…" Tyson comes rushing out of the room next to us and immediately stops short and turns around. "That's too much guys, I totally thought somebody was hurt…" he announces, trying to hide his embarrassment.

Kai breaks away but doesn't release me, keeping steady eye contact with me. I think he is trying to determine my comfort level since I haven't made any attempt to relax Tyson or to shy away with my own embarrassment, but my main conviction in wanting to mend things between us has made me temporarily forget my insecurities and I don't waver in my resolve.

"You see? Everything is fine." He doesn't respond to my declaration, still trying to judge what is happening and when my attitude had become so defiant. So I do what any good competitor would do. I wink then give a short glance in Tyson's direction. "Don't mind us, Tys. Kai was just worried." I shift my attention back to Kai and watch him narrow his eyes, a sure sign that he is irritated because he doesn't want to be the first to waver and he knows I am pushing all he right buttons for him to do so. Something that, if I knew Kai, he wasn't going to let me continue.

"Worried about what? Your face?" Tyson asks doubtfully, still keeping his back to us.

"If you have a problem, leave." Kai commands, moving back up close to me and placing his hand on the side of my face. Without hesitation I drift towards him, keeping him there being the only thing I want.

"Is that any way to treat your friends?" Tyson outbursts before our lips make contact again. I try to slow my breathing which had become quickened in the anticipation, while I watch Kai contemplate his next action. He visibly clenches his teeth and pulls away again.

Tyson has overcome his discomfort and now looks at Kai directly with his hands poised on his hips in annoyance. Kai's grip on my arm tightens and I know he's about ready to show Tyson just how great of 'friends' they really are but I shift a little, letting him know that he's making me uneasy. I had known that this was bound to cause some trouble but I hadn't made myself ready enough to accept it. We have a short conversation with our eyes so he doesn't feel like he's losing and he lets me go. For a moment I stay close to the wall, sharing one last look with him before turning back to Tyson.

"Don't be upset with Kai. It was my idea." They both look at me a little taken back. I step away from the wall and look down. It started to feel like I had chosen to pit them against each other instead of bridging the gaps between us. "Sorry for making you uncomfortable." I lower my voice. "I can see that it was a stupid idea," I mumble, more to myself than to anyone else. I nod and walk away down the hallway to the front door where I make my way outside without looking back.

After descending the porch steps I look down the street both ways and randomly pick a direction to walk. It was kind of late but I didn't really want to stay inside after all of that. Eventually all those feelings of apprehension and indignity had caught up with me. At the time it had been easy for me to focus on one thing and stay with it but when everything was over, I was still myself. The surprising part was, I didn't feel guilty at all. There was a part of me that had enjoyed making Tyson so flustered. A part that was thrilled by it even. And not just because I knew Tyson was uncomfortable, but because I wanted to keep going regardless. I hadn't wanted him to accept us at all, at least not in those moments. I had actually wanted the opposite just so I could feel the rush of doing something inappropriate without any concerns. I wanted the freedom. That and driving their responses had made me feel empowered. Was I secretly a trouble maker?

Either way, facing either of them right now was out of the question.

So I wander until I find a quiet place to sit for awhile and ruminate on what to do next. Kai would be gone in the morning and I would be left with Tyson alone. It hadn't been awkward before but it might totally be awkward now.

I laugh at my own insecurities. Knowing Tyson, he had probably already forgotten about it.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I'll just apologize to Kai and we can all move on. I just hope they aren't killing each other right now.

I stay out for quite some time before I decide I have calmed down enough to return. Tyson is already in his room and the house is dark. I slip into the bedroom as quietly as possible knowing that Kai is either sleeping or pretending to. I do my best not to disturb him as I shed my day clothes to pull on my pajamas, before I pick up the piles that Kai had made earlier and move them out of the way. I would have to ask him what he wanted me to do with them later.

"Trash," he answers my unspoken question. I spin around as he rolls over in bed. I catch the shadows from Kai's new 'art' and nearly stumble, catching myself before I falter. Then I laugh at my own clumsiness.

"Who's gonna protect me from that thing while you are away?" I relay jokingly. He snorts and sits up. I take on a serious attitude and refocus my attention towards him. "Listen, I…" I start my apology before waiting for him to tell me how upset he is.

"Stop." He orders. My mouth snaps shut. A silence settles in before he continues. "You didn't do anything that needs an apology. We've wasted too much time on this already. Let's just get some sleep."

"Okay." I walk over and crawl in to bed beside him. He lays back down and faces me, his eyes flaring like fires in the dim light from the moon coming through the window. I bring my hands up to his chest and play with the buttons on his shirt to distract myself from dwelling. "Good-night, Kai." I smile. He sighs and puts a hand to my hip, bringing me in to a close hug and calming all my nervous fidgeting.

"You didn't have to try so hard just for me to miss you," he replies softly. This further comforts me and I relax against him, burying my face in his chest and hugging him back. I settle in to the steady sound of his heartbeat as it slows down and I float away with it.

"People do crazy thing when they're in…" I start to mumble as I fall asleep. I hadn't realized how tired I was but everything must have caught up with me all at once. I didn't stir at all until the next morning.

"Did you pack everything you needed?"

No answer.

"What about your passport? Did you bring it?"

No answer.

"Do you know where you are going?"

"I've done this before," Kai responds with a flat, dry tone. I glance over at him and Tyson as they pass into view on their way past the living room to the exit and I can't hide my amusement. Tyson looks like he's trying to come up with another few questions to ask but can't find one that he hasn't tried already, while Kai looks ready to silence him permanently with his eyes. Neither one of them really looks over or sees me, caught up in their own situation.

"You sure you don't want us to come with you to drop you off?" he asks as if it's normal for everyone to participate in Kai's departure. You never would have guessed that there had been any malice between them at all the night before. Sure Kai doesn't look at all pleased but he isn't looking at him in a malicious way. Just the normal Kai/Tyson way that happens every day. And Tyson hasn't given up on trying to make sure he's a part of every step Kai takes forward even after Kai has already told him several times that he was fine on his own.

I stay back, giving Kai his space. Or maybe, on some level, just keeping my distance for my own protection. My stomach is in knots and my body aches as if I am coming down with a sickness. If I get too close I am afraid that feeling will spread or worse, Kai will notice. I didn't want Kai to think I couldn't handle a few days on my own. Especially since I wasn't fully convinced myself that I could. I had purposely spent most of the morning cleaning. One, so I would have a good excuse if asked. And two, I didn't want to be doing what Tyson was doing right now.

"Man, I wish we could all go. Why do you get to have all the fun?" Tyson pouts, taking Kai's bag from him and placing it somewhere close to the door. He then proceeds to pick at Kai's clothes as if grooming him.

"Don't you have something else to do?" Kai replies crossly to further prove the point that Tyson's mothering is unnecessary AND unwanted. Tyson huffs but accepts the truth and abandons his grooming. He gives Kai one last look-over and stalks away back to his room.

I wait.

Half of me expects something. Some heart-stopping exchange that will hold me over until his return…or at least until lunch time. The other half expects a simple nod and a door closing as he leaves. Of course I want the first choice but I am hesitant to initiate it. Afraid that it will end in my embarrassment and will only further complicate the feelings that are swirling around the air unspoken.

When he is sure Tyson is otherwise fully distracted Kai turns to me, his eyes asking me why I have been hiding. I catch my breath in my chest and takes a few steps closer just to dissipate any further alarm. He seems to relax a bit.

"I'll call," he says before an awkward 'what is the appropriate action here?' feeling sets in. For a minute we just stare at each other. I start to think maybe he is also expecting something but is just as unsure as I am about exactly what that is. Neither of us wants to be the one to show their true feelings, but I want to believe I am not alone. Naturally, I move first, pushed by the deafening silence.

"Take care!" I blurt a little too loudly, stumbling over the words as if they are difficult to say. He studies my rigid appearance but thinks better of saying what I know he must be thinking. I was never fooling him.

He picks up his things and nods. The nod. The unwanted of the two choices. The gesture makes me feel boxed in and the uncertainty of what to do or say grows. I nod back. In the pit of my stomach I feel the knots twist and suddenly it feels like this is just the beginning of the longest four days of my life.

He opens the door and sends a look past me as if to assess Tyson's whereabouts again, probably expecting him to try and leave with him. Suddenly, I can't take it anymore and I change my mind about being cautious. Throwing tact or doubt (or any other negative and unwanted emotion I had wanted to hold on to) away, I grab him quickly by the collar of his jacket and plant the most fervent kiss I can gather at the moment on him so forcefully that he has to take a step backwards out the door. A noise behind me breaks us apart as I am reminded of how things had ended yesterday but I hesitate to let go right away.

"I..." I start to say 'I love you' like it's the most appropriate thing to say at that moment but it gets stuck at the back of my throat and I release him and step away instead. "Take care..." I repeat with a weak smile. He half smiles back and I start to think he's having the same battle with words that I am. If anyone was watching us they would probably think we were the most awkward people in the world and not well respected athletes with jobs and responsibilities and crowd pleasing charisma.

"You too," he says before turning away. I lean in the doorway, tired, feeling half my energy walk away with him. I barely register Tyson coming back up behind me (now dressed for work) and pushing his way into the doorway beside me.

"Make sure to take pictures! I want to know what's going on over there!" He bellows. I imagine Kai rolling his eyes in my head as he doesn't turn back or acknowledge Tyson with any sort of expression or return. He gets in the car and leaves.

Not even ten seconds after the taxi rolls away, Tyson is on the phone.

"He's on his way now, did you get the stuff?" A pause. "Awesome! Cya later!"

I close the door and turn around.

"What was that about?" I inquire suspiciously.

"I'm gonna be late for work," Tyson dodges, running off to grabs his things to leave.

Why do I sense something bad is about to happen?

Fighting feelings of loss and separation that want to settle in swiftly, I prioritize the important things, specifically, keeping Tyson in line. I follow him to his room and block the doorway with my arms.

"Tell me," I urge. "Just because Kai is away doesn't mean you can do whatever you want. This is still his house and he..."

"Relax, Ray! It's nothing like that!" He evades my road block in one hurried duck under my arm and shoots down the hallway. "Catch ya later!" He waves before leaving quicker than I have ever seen him leave…well, ever. It's still really early but it already feels like I have endured the pressure of a whole day's work. I battle between crawling back into bed and sleeping away the next four days and going about my responsibilities like normal. Chances were if I wasn't getting the information out of Tyson, I was going to have to find the next best thing, Max. So I sulk back to my room and get ready for school.

I don't find Max in class so I look for him in the most obvious places. The cafeteria, his room, and the gym. I have no luck in any of them and start to wonder if he had gone somewhere else for the day until I spot him carrying some boxes out of the student council room with a group of people.

Seeing the happy look on his face and feeling a nostalgia overcome me, I am almost persuaded to leave him in his bliss before ruining it with my intended verbal assault. Almost.

"Max." I approach.

"Hey, Ray! How's it going?" he greets cheerfully.

"Been better. Can you talk?" I try to get this over with quickly just in case I needed time to come up with a plan to quell Tyson. He looks at the people in his group and nods. One of them takes the box from him and they move on ahead.

"Now, I know what you're thinking, Ray," he says, looking at me squarely.

"You do?" I freeze, unsure.

"And you don't have to worry," he continues.

"I don't?" This was just getting weirder…

"Tyson may seem a bit rough around the edges but he has good intentions and I know he's just trying to help."

"Help?" Wait, what?

"When I stop by later we are going to come up with a plan and it'll all work out. You'll see." He pats me on the back. I open my mouth to reply but he shifts and takes a step past me. "We'll talk later. I really have to go." He winks. "No worries, Ray. We'll figure it out!"

Um…thanks?

I stand in the hallway confused for a few minutes before I notice that I am attracting attention with my bewildered look. I smile awkwardly at the stares I have gathered and turn around, heading back to my class.

What the heck is going on around here? What is Tyson helping with and what are we figuring out? The further I went in questioning it, the less I understood anything. Here I was thinking Tyson was having some sort of party and he's really organizing a…what? Collaboration meeting? This is perplexing. I don't know if it is something that I need to dismiss or not. If it was truly nothing to worry about, I'd rather do that. But if it ended up being something completely ridiculous, I had a duty to put it down before it went too far. My next goal was clearly to find out what Tyson was thinking, which, when I really considered it, was something I would rather get through my life with never doing.

I guess there's a first time for everything, even things you don't like.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Ebb and Flow

Do you ever wonder if teachers get together and plan to make all your assignments due around the same time so you absolutely have no way to finish them all? Between that and them knowing EXACTLY the worst time ever to lay the most significant assignments on you, I don't know what is worse.

I was having trouble concentrating during class and had missed quite a lot of the instruction for the homework that had been placed in my hands as we were all leaving. I am pretty sure they knew it too, judging by the patronizing look I got as I took the pages from them. To be honest, I hadn't left the best impression on my teachers this time around, despite my attentiveness and my constant strive at perfection. My first semester had set up a standard that they all seemed to expect out of me. One in which I wasn't as in-tuned to as I had been before all the changes that were happening in my life had started when Tyson and Max had resurfaced unexpectedly. I was too busy wondering what I would be going home to and how I could deal with the issues their presence created.

Today was just another one of those days. Except now, instead of putting my efforts into getting the information I needed to finish the assignments correctly and on time, I was rushing home to intercept whatever happened to be waiting for me this time. How do people with kids and jobs get through school without getting completely overwhelmed? Maybe they are just better at hiding it…

Life is meant to be enjoyed.

Sure things happen that bring you down. But that's how you appreciate the things that don't. Work isn't "fun" but it doesn't have to be torture like this.

"Dude! I love my job!" See? Tyson knows.

I close the door behind me, shed my coat and scarf and turn around.

"Is that you, Ray?" Max's voice calls down the hallway. Tyson pops out of the kitchen before I can answer.

"Ray! I gotta show you this too! And we made dinner for you. Come quick!" He latches on to my arm and practically drags me the rest of the way to the kitchen.

"You…cooked?" I start, looking at Tyson warily before he lets me go and returns to the counter where Max is setting up a bowl. Max smiles widely and nods. Not at all what I was expecting. In fact, it was probably the exact opposite.

"It's one of my Dad's specialties. You're gonna love it!" I regard him with a skeptical nod and take a place at the table that Tyson had set up for us to eat at. I don't miss the extra place setting and look back at him quizzically.

"Kenny is on his way. He had a little trouble on the train but he said he's not too far away," Tyson explains. Ah, they were still waiting for Kenny... "But enough about that. Check this out!" He lets Max finish up with the preparatory actions and carries a large tan envelope over to the table, sitting down next to me. "Since Hiro wasn't there I got to poke around his office and I found this super experimental Beyblade design that he and Kai have been working on. Look!" He opens the envelope and pulls out a bunch of blueprint photos and systematic equations. "Max said it looks much different than the ones his mom works on and it seems to have some kind of hidden power." He shoves the photos at me and I half smile, not really understanding all the technical mumbo jumbo that is scrawled across the pages in two different handwritings. "Do you think Kai is testing it out in Europe?" I look past Tyson at Max as he brings the bowl, now filled with some type of salad, over to the table and places it before us. Max just shrugs and goes back to the fridge to get some drinks.

"Isn't that stealing?" I ask unsure. Tyson falls back in disbelief.

"What?! Of course not! I work there too!" he huffs.

"Well I'm sure you weren't supposed to be poking around. People get fired for that sort of thing…" I continue critically. Tyson makes a noise of protest and gathers the papers back up.

"I told him that too but it's pretty useless," Max laughs as he places four cups down on the table.

"You guys don't understand! Why aren't you more excited? Do you know what this means?!" Tyson doesn't stop his protest or withdraw from his conviction.

"That Kai and Hiro are productive members of an organization?" I offer him. He growls while Max covers another laugh.

"I knew he changed you. How did he do it?" I stop at Tyson's accusatory tone. What? Max tenses up and sends Tyson a clear 'stop this now' look, waving his hands out shortly and then brushing them back nonchalantly through his hair to cover up the action.

"You promised to wait for…" he starts, only to be interrupted by the phone ringing. All of our heads turn in that direction, temporarily forgetting everything else. Kai. I rush to answer it, fumbling with the receiver as my adrenaline starts going.

"Hello?" I ask excitedly.

"Is Max there?" a female voice asks and I look back confused.

"Max?" I look over at him and he walks over sheepishly. I lower the phone and frown. "Seriously?" I question him. He calmly takes it from me and smiles apologetically.

"Yeah, sorry, Ray. My cell broke and I knew I would be here awhile so I…" I cut him off by walking away. He lowers his voice as he greets whoever is on the other end. I step into the hallway.

"Hey! We weren't done yet! What about dinner?" Tyson outbursts at my departure.

"I'll eat later. I have a lot of work to do." I walk down the hallway towards Kai's room. When I reach for the doorknob however, I freeze. I take a moment to pass a few thoughts through my head before taking my hand back and moving on to the library. For some reason, his room no longer felt like open territory for me. I knew Kai would say I was being stupid but it just didn't feel right to enter when he wasn't here.

Kenny arrives and I hear Tyson go through the same excited battle with him over his 'findings' but the dark feeling that I was letting sink in gave me no desire to rejoin. The phone rings three more times with calls for Max before I give up running to answer it with enthusiasm. He explains that it's for student council things and I understand, having the knowledge that the elections were coming up fast and debates were about to start. Tyson attempts to distract me each time I emerge but I ignore him, returning to my cave with no comment. After the last phone call and hearing them finish up in the kitchen, I close myself off and lock the door so they can't bother me.

I mull over the confusing projects and papers that I was assigned last minute and it is almost 2am by the time I decide I am too tired to concentrate on the words blurring across the computer screen. I slink out of the room as quietly as I can and head to the kitchen for a quick snack before I settle in to sleep. The only light in the house is the light coming from underneath Tyson's door and I step around it as I pass by as if intersecting it would announce my location to the boys inside. I wonder if Kenny is still here. I am almost positive that Max probably stayed but Kenny had yet to intrude in that manner. It was too quiet to tell and I start to think that they had fallen asleep with the light on.

When I step into the kitchen, that theory goes right out the window as I jump back at the shadowy figures sitting around the kitchen table. I rush to turn on the light and find all three boys sleeping at the table. The sudden illumination startles them and they wake up.

"Hey, watch it!" Tyson hypes, throwing his hands up protectively. Max and Kenny are less animated and just cover their faces and groan as they look up confused.

"What are you guys doing?" I ask vacantly. "You know there are beds right?" Tyson jumps up.

"We were waiting for you!" he points at me and I blink. Me? Was missing dinner really that important to them? If I had known it was such a big deal I would have suffered my way through it.

"What time is it?" Max yawns and sleepily looks around, un-phased by Tyson antics as usual. Kenny looks at his watch.

"Oh geez…" he mumbles. "Maybe now isn't a good time Tyson."

"What are you talking about? It's the perfect time!"

"I'd say never is a good time." Max's head thunks as he drops it back down on the table in exasperation. I cross my arms, sensing something isn't right here.

"Wha…what's going on?" I ask unsure. Tyson walks over and loops his arm around my elbow, pulling me towards the table. The other two boys avoid making eye contact with me, Kenny looking down with a slight blush of embarrassment and Max just keeping his head laying on the table.

"This is your intervention!" Tyson gloats. Silence. The discomfort of the other two boys only becomes more prominent. I look back at Tyson as he lets go of my arm and sits back down.

"The TV show?" I stare at him inanely, unamused. Max's hands wrap around the back of his head, still face down on the table, and he covers his face with his arms.

"I told you this was a stupid idea," he mumbles through the barrier. Tyson hits him and then hits Kenny's arm.

"Come on guys, this is serious! Ray needs our help," he insists. I sigh and walk around the table to the fridge, looking for that snack. Maybe a drink would be better, eating food right before bed can give you nightmares. The drowsiness washes over me again and my movements get a little slower.

"Tys, I'm not in the mood for your games right now," I reply tiredly suppressing a yawn. "I really need to get some sleep…" I find a bottle of juice and snap it open to drink it.

"Wait, no!" Tyson jumps up again. "You can't go yet. This is your intervention!" I look at him in boredom.

"You said that already. What am I being intervened for?" Each word comes out more and more fatigued and uninterested. "Last time I checked, I was healthier than you."

"Kai." He says the name short and chokes off the end, showing less confidence in his decision to have started this. The declaration of the other makes my head snap up and face his direction crossly. I wasn't fully awake but I knew exactly what he was trying to say and didn't like it at all. Max feels the tension build up inside me and leaves his protective stance to pull Tyson back down.

"He doesn't mean it like that," he tries to cover for his friend. I fight the urge to be angry even though the more this goes further, the harder it is to keep it down.

"I thought you guys were okay with us." I put the juice down on the counter before it becomes a victim of my unsettled emotions. Kenny looks up at this one.

"We are," he replies, not hiding his annoyance with Tyson's way of approaching the subject. "Tyson just wanted to…"

"Tyson thought maybe YOU weren't okay," Max interrupts him. I try to think of a way to respond. It's not every day that your friends stop you as a group to let you know that they think you're making a bad choice. Especially after acting okay with it and showing no signs of having problems before.

"You guys waited to tell me this? Why? You would never do this with Kai." I don't hide my hostility as I mention the absent member of our group.

"We should just leave him alone. It's late," Kenny tries to get them to back off again.

"No, I want to hear this now," I insist. Tyson ignores Kenny's pleas and continues.

"Kai isn't the one who's different," he explains indignantly.

"People grow up, Tys." I oppose him, crossing my arms again and walking back around the counter to the end of the table. Tyson takes in my aggressive approach and falters.

"I uh..just..uh…wanted… Grr! This works a lot differently on TV," he muses, to which Max nods.

"I told you it was unnecessary to begin with," Kenny agrees. I start to get slightly annoyed at being ignored but decide to let it go. I still wanted to pursue this but I felt my head starting to throb and thought maybe it better to re-approach it with a clear mind. My anger would only make me say something I would regret later and there was no way that talking more wouldn't just make me more upset. Especially with Tyson taking the lead.

Dropping my arms and shaking my head, I walk towards the exit.

"I'm going to sleep," I mutter. "We'll talk about this later." Three sighs respond and I hear the scraping of their chairs as they get up to retire as well.

At first my sleep is restless and disturbed but after fighting with myself for an hour or so, I finally settle. A tap on my foot stirs me.

"Ray?" I pull my leg in close to my chest to escape the pressure. "Hey, get up!" The tap moves up to my side. "Why are you sleeping out here?"

"Ghosts…" I mumble and roll over away from the touch.

"Ghosts? What?!" I hear the startled voice and the panic and slowly the realization of what is happening sinks in. What time is it if Tyson is up before me?

I sit up straight and look at my watch, throwing the couch blanket onto the floor with the sudden movement.

7:15.

What?

I look up at Tyson confused.

"What are you doing up?" I eye him.

"Kai called," he says plainly. There is a hint of displeasure in his voice but he isn't showing any signs of being combative about it. The words still make my heart sink.

"I missed it?" I stare at him, not able to hide my disappointment. He takes a page from Kai's book and gives me a 'hn' in response. Then he thinks better of his choice and nods his head back.

"Nah, he's waiting. I just came to get you," he reveals with a smile. "It took me a bit longer because you weren't in your room."

"Oh." I relax. I had come out to the living room to sleep because Kai's room had felt rather empty and cold and the couch felt much cozier. That and I had imagined that hearing the phone ring would be much easier if I were closer and not behind a closed door. Ironically enough I hadn't heard it ring anyway but at least he had waited. If it was the Kai I knew 3 years ago he would have hung up the second he heard Tyson's voice pick up. It's funny how certain things can make something mean so much more. I pick up on Tyson's suspicious staring and study him a minute, trying to read his thoughts. "Oh!" I shoot up and run to the kitchen.

"Oh, no it's going great. Thanks for asking," Max is on the phone when I get there. He winks at me as I enter. "Yeah, he's right here…oh sure…hold on." He laughs. "It's for you this time," he smiles, waving the phone at me teasingly. I snatch it from him and turn around to hide my face as I blush.

"Hello?" I say quietly, as if it is a secret that I don't want anyone to overhear. I hear Max sit down at the table and look over my shoulder at him as he watches me expectantly.

"Hey." Kai's voice brings my attention to the phone but Max smirks takes it away again so I swat at him to leave.

"Hey, hi, how was the trip?" I stutter out uncomfortably.

"It's fine." Typical. Even if he was better at communicating with me face-to-face, it was clear that phones calls were not one of his strong points.

"I…" I pause as I catch Max making an endearing gesture and smiling playfully. I send him a scowl. "How did…" He moves on to making a kissy face and hugging the air suggestively and I growl in annoyance. "Hey, knock it off!" I yell and take a step towards him threateningly. He jumps up and giggles, grabbing a piece of fruit from the bowl on the counter and stepping outside the room. He shoots me one last mischievous wink before disappearing down the hallway.

"Is this a bad time?" Kai impatiently lets me know he's still there.

"Uh, no. Not at all!" I rush, a little too forcefully. "I mean, of course not. How was the trip?"

"You asked that already…" It sounds cross but I can still hear the amusement in his voice. I laugh to myself and smile.

"Sorry, it's been a long night."

"Tell me about it."

I look at the phone a little shocked. Under normal circumstances a phrase like that from Kai would have come out sarcastically or bitter but this time it had sounded quite genuine. At first I don't know how to proceed.

"It's not that interesting…" I brush the whole thing off, remembering Tyson's accusations. "Maybe I can tell you about it when you get back if you still want to know." There's a silence for a few seconds and I start to think he has hung up. But then his voice comes back with something I wasn't expecting.

"You're hiding something." He got all that from one sentence? I should have expected that much at least but I still wasn't prepared to tell him. At least not over the phone. Not only would it make me feel like I was bothering him with something trivial but I didn't want him to think that just because he was gone, things weren't under control. I breathe out heavily.

"It's nothing to worry about," I return. I hope it is enough for him to accept and move on. He seems to mull it over but doesn't press further. I ask him a few more impersonal questions to which he provides short, undetailed answers and then I ramble on about some non-important things for a couple more minutes before he announces that he has to go. "Hey, Kai?" I detain him for a moment longer, not wanting the connection to him to dissipate just yet.

"Yeah?"

I try to think of something charming to say. Anything that might make me feel like he was closer to me but my mind is a blank mess.

"I'm glad you called," I finally say glumly.

"Hn." A pause. Then he returns with an amused and pressing, "Take care," before he hangs up. I smile fondly at the gesture and hang up the receiver. It was almost like we had invented our own little codespeak.

"Does he make you happy?" Tyson's voice from behind brings me out of my loving stupor in surprise. I whip around and find him leaning in the doorway. What comes to mind is that he is trying to bring back the conversation from last night but the question is innocent and he looks more interested in a real answer than starting another fight. I consider it to be his way of trying to accept things as they were or maybe to figure something out on a more intimate level.

"Yeah. He does."

Tyson frowns but nods and straightens himself up, dropping the subject altogether. He starts to talk about work things and hoping that he gets to do something interesting today but Max comes back shortly after, tackling him and going on about coming by later to get help with some project. It's then that I remember my own school work. Oh man.

Without a word I jet from the kitchen and back into the library to go over what it is that I have left to finish. In full panic mode I don't think I have the time to finish before the deadlines and I completely go into hardcore working mode. Squeezing in anything I possibly can before I have to rush myself out the door at full speed.

The day went by as a blur and the closer I got to the end of it, the farther away it felt. I started to feel overwhelmed, like nothing was going to go the way I wanted it to. Not only were things at home a bit weird, I wasn't sure if they were resolved or if I had more to expect. I had no idea what to say or what to do to make Tyson more comfortable. I didn't know if he had changed his mind or if he still wanted to 'fix' things. And I didn't know if I would ever be able to catch up in my classes to a point where I felt comfortable again. Worst thing about everything was, I didn't know what to focus on first.

When I got home Tyson, Max and Kenny were crowded into a room that wasn't Tyson's. That little detail being one I didn't quite pick up on right away. Until I passed by Tyson's room and it was empty but I could still hear their voices drifting down the hallway.

A quick survey of Tyson's empty room, brought a few things to my attention. I took a few more steps down the hallway and approached the next empty room. There I picked up on a few more things that were slightly out of place. I shrug it off and approach the last room in the hallway, this being where the voices are the loudest. I peek around the corner curiously and take in the sight there as well.

"Um…Max?" I look between each of the boys evenly. Max looks up at me from his place on the floor with imploring eyes.

"Yeah, Ray? Is something wrong?" he asks unaware of my explorations.

"Uh…can you tell me why your things are scattered all over the place?"

"Oh right! We were seeing which room had the most feng shui!" He smiles delightedly. He seems so proud of himself that he had thought to do something so intelligent. To prove his point, I watch as Tyson writes down a few measurements on a piece of paper and then has Kenny look it up on his computer. I choose not to inquire any more. Besides, I think what I needed most right then was a good nap. Otherwise, I would start to believe that there was a lot more nonsense going on than there actually was.

But for once, I was actually right.

Over the last few days of Kai's absence, Max started gradually drifting in. He was like a girlfriend who had decided to move in but was doing it without your knowledge. His stuff started to randomly appear. Then his clothes and toiletries. Then practically everything he owned just showed up all over. I rarely saw him inside the house and when I did he was always with Tyson but after the first day of exploring, he seemed to find his own space and settled into one of the other guest rooms. Then I saw him everywhere.

I had lost my handle on the situation before I had even known it existed and by the last day before Kai's return, it was way too far out of control to push it back before Kai would find out. Was I really that blind?


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Endless Fire

When he said he'd call, I didn't realize he only meant once. While I had been frantically trying to get a hold on what was happening and making up my assignments and extra credit and all that good stuff, four days passed by quickly but I had heard nothing from Kai after that first phone call. Had I known that that would be my only one, I would have made it more...something.

Sigh.

Why does my life always seem so complicated?

The worst part was, I was too exhausted to even be angry. Which I wanted to be, I had told myself so…earlier…when I was…less drained…

"Yo!" Tyson flops down on the desk in front of me, close to where I have been resting my head for the past 20 minutes of ruminating and pitying myself. I sit up straight and look at him, bored.

"What is it now?" I ask, not hiding my annoyance. He kicks his feet out in a happy manner and looks around the room. Why is he always so energetic? It makes my eyes burn. Wait, maybe that's the lack of sleep.

"Is that any way to greet your best bud?" He snorts, then spots something of interest across the room and jumps back off the desk to walk over. "You have a lot of books in here..." he muses.

"Well it IS a library," I comment back. I watch him pick up one of Kai's bookends, causing the books it had been holding back to tilt into a pile that cascades over on to the floor. He frantically tries to catch them before they fall but just manages to drop the bookend as well.

"Awe man..." He bends over to pick them up and I turn back to the computer, the screen still blank from my not-even-started essay. It was the last one on my to-do list for the day and I was even less excited to start it as I had been with the first four.

"So to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit? I'm sure it wasn't just to wreck Kai's office." It may have been the library and fully accessible to anyone who wanted to use it but it was still Kai's office to me. He spent most of his time locked away in here and I was starting to realize why, having done pretty much the same since he had been gone. It was kind of...peaceful. Since neither Tyson nor Max ever showed much interest in books and it was inconveniently at the end of the hallway, the chances of them wandering in was slim to none. For the past two days I hadn't even bothered to close the door, just in case I needed an ear out for any disasters that might take place. Although after witnessing it first hand, I wondered if Kai would appreciate me allowing Tyson that possibility of entry, let alone the freedom to touch his things. It was a little late to consider that now however.

"Nothing special. Just haven't seen you in awhile." He finishes with the books, having replaced them in a messy stack on the shelf with the bookend set gingerly down on top as if it were a house of cards and it would hold them in place that way. Which was just ironic since that was its actual purpose, even if not in the same manner. He turns back to me. "Max and I are going to check out this tournament promotional thingy at the mall today and I wanted to know if maybe you wanted to come."

"I have a lot of work to do..." I reply absently, taking on a vacant stare as the blankness of the page seems to meld into even more nothing than it already was. I wasn't particularly listening to what he was saying to even know what I was saying no to but I knew it was what needed to be said.

"It's only a few hours! Breaks are good for you, ya know!"

I let my head sink back to the desk again defeated.

"I really can't. Maybe next time."

Hands clamp down on my shoulders and squeeze and a shiver jolts through my body before they are removed again. The feeling of uneasiness that follows makes me sit up again and watch him as he bounces his way back towards the door.

"Well if you wanna join later, just come find us. Don't work too hard!" And he's gone. What the hell was that? Tyson's usual playfulness never effected me like that before. Was it just because I was over tired? That had to be it... Or maybe it was my lack of human contact all day. I suddenly had a huge desire to be hugged that I couldn't quite explain. And since when was he even speaking to me again? He had been avoiding me for almost the entire week. Or maybe it just seemed that way since I had been so busy. Or he had been so busy. Or both of us had.

Maybe a break wouldn't be too bad after all.

I hear the excited chatter as Tyson reunites with Max and they happily make their way outside for their adventure. When I hear the door close and the silence settles in again I resolve that a break would probably be rather nice. So I close the empty document and make my way to the kitchen, preparing a small snack and then settling into Kai's chair to watch some TV, which if you asked me now, I couldn't even tell you whether I turned on. I didn't anticipate my tiredness taking over, Kai's chair being like a warm cloud still lingering with his comforting scent, and causing me to fall into a deep, undisturbed sleep. The end of the world wasn't waking me up.

When I do wake up my cozy, curled up position seems a bit cozier than I remembered curling up in. I start to shift but realize that I can't because I am trapped by a pair of strong arms that are wrapped around me. It's then that my other senses kick in and I take in the slow breathing and relaxed body pressed closely to my back. I pause, wondering if Tyson had somehow managed to fall asleep near me again and rolled over into a sleepy death hug. I toss this thought quickly from my mind as the arms release me enough so I can turn around, even if it is still a trying feat to accomplish, especially since it's actually not just arms wrapped around me but a whole body. I let out a sigh of relief when I come face-to-face with Kai instead. From the looks of him, he's just as exhausted as I was. I feel a familiar nervous anxiousness wash over me from seeing him again but he looks so serene I have no desire to disturb him right away.

I settle back into the chair and just stare at him for a few minutes, wondering why it was so easy for him to make me forget everything that I should actually be thinking and feeling and replacing it with only desires to be close to him. It's not like he was even doing anything but somehow just knowing it was his arms that were wrapped around me put me in a place where anything before that just didn't matter.

I start to feel a tingling in my leg as a numbness wants to set in and I try to shift again without waking him. When this becomes a futile attempt, I decide (much to my own disappointment) that there's only one way to get free. I take the opportunity to kiss him lightly on the cheek and nuzzle his face, hoping the unexpected contact will bring him back but he only seems to pull me tighter.

I try again by shaking him a little. He breathes out a sleepy sigh but still doesn't stir. Who knew it was so hard to wake up Kai? With his usual always aware and alert attitude, it was strange to even think he could sleep so deeply. I suppose he is human after all.

"Come on, dear. We should find a real bed," I say teasingly. If he had been awake I would have instantly been graced with his fiery glare at the endearing term but lucky for me he is just barely aware of my consciousness. All my instincts tell me it's better to let him sleep, being permitted to witness such a moment was something I had a feeling I wouldn't get very often. Temporarily forgetting the reason I had tried to wake him in the first place, I brush a hand through his hair. He groans, his normal protective instincts probably kicking on. His eyes start to open sleepily. "Hi." I smile softly and push myself up as he blinks to get his focus on me. "I was beginning to think you were dead. You made my leg fall asleep." He is slow to respond and after taking a moment to piece together what was happening, he shakes his head.

"You're awake?" It's posed as a question but it isn't really a question as much as it is an observation. I answer it anyway.

"Yeah. I'm all yours. But let's go to bed first. You must be exhausted."

The arms tighten around me again and he pulls me towards him, his lips meeting mine when I stumble forward. He keeps his eyes closed and leans his forehead against mine, seemingly still trying to get his bearings before he drops his legs to the floor and overpowers me with a much deeper kiss. Turning me and pushing me back into the chair, he moves over me, the kiss growing more passionate with the more awake he gets.

I guess I wasn't the only one craving human contact after the separation. Unlike the confusing moment I had shared with Tyson, every part of my body is responding, knowing exactly what it is it's been waiting for. Everything about his touches and kisses is familiar and desired and the more he throws at me, the more I don't want him to stop.

His knee slides up on the chair between my legs, one hand caressing my neck and tilting my head up as the same knee pushes into the chair and he grows taller. I gasp as my body wants to drift up with him but is forced down with his other hand while he towers above me. My hands grip his clothes to pull him back down and I feel him smirk before he pulls away to look down at me affectionately.

"Hi," he gives me a proper greeting. I'm sure he's just admiring his handiwork as I regain my composure and shake my thoughts back into reality.

"I didn't know you were so intense when you first wake up," I gush as I catch my breath.

"Maybe if you weren't always sleeping you would," he teases back. My face twists in displeasure at the insinuation but he doesn't give me time to retort as he leans back over and kisses me again. This kiss and the several that follow it become more eager and purposely stimulating and I moan when the hand floats down my neck and loosens my collar to drop my shirt down and expose my shoulder. The feel of the cool air touching my skin only makes my desire stronger, so I push up and grab at his hips to gain control over him and bring him closer. He pushes me back down and brings his other knee up on the chair so that he is straddling my leg and holding me in place. The kisses move down my neck and my fingers dig into his lower back.

The front door slamming makes us both jump and we break apart, our eyes shooting to the source.

"Damn-it." Tyson. He passes the room halfway and looks over, nodding towards us without much of a reception before continuing on. If I had to guess he probably didn't even notice that we were both there, so chances were he hadn't paid mind enough to know what we'd been doing.

"Everything okay?" I call awkwardly to the empty space that he has left in his wake. Two more bangs sound and a kick hits the wall.

"Fine thanks!" Tyson calls back before slamming his own door and silencing the rest of house. I look back at Kai, the moment ruined, and ask what I believe we are both thinking. Or perhaps what we SHOULD be thinking.

"Maybe we should go see if he's okay?"

"Hn." Kai rolls his eyes, sighs, and nods, but makes no move to get up or to allow me to go after him. I sit up straight so my body presses against his and kiss him softly on the chin, if only to get his attention off his disgruntled thoughts.

"It won't take long," I say and he meets my eyes.

"Is that supposed to be motivation?" he responds sarcastically. "If it isn't Tyson, it's Tyson. I'm tired of this." He pouts. In Kai terms, his pouts are more like broods. His whole demeanor just takes on this dark aura of hatred. I push myself farther to try and calm him once again. My hands crawl up his back and rub down his shoulder blades. He slowly allows himself to relax and then growls, smirking before he hovers back over me. "Tyson can wait. He doesn't seem to be going anywhere…" he whispers lowly, biting my neck and slipping my shirt farther off my shoulders.

"Wait, Kai…" I exhale as my eyes slip shut uncontrolled, ignoring everything that is telling me to rush off to my other friend's aide. Later I would probably look back and decide what I should have done instead but after not having had such contact for four endless days, my body belonged to him and my thoughts no longer had effect. "I missed you…" I hold him tighter as if it will keep him from ever leaving again. His hands work to unbutton the rest of my shirt.

The front door slams open a second time and I wince as I feel teeth bite down on the tender part of my neck. The shock cause me to release him and give him the freedom to stand up.

"Hey Tyson!" Max shouts down the hallway. He sounds upset. Kai growls but not the same growl as before. This one is much more gruff and annoyed. I'm sure now would be a bad time to tell him that Max will be staying over from now on?

Kai takes on a menacing stance that is enough to make Max stop short when he goes to cross the entryway. He smiles weakly as Kai's glare fixates on him like a knife being thrown through the air.

"Uh, hey Kai. When did you…" he notices me when I move to straighten myself, suddenly aware of how exposed I am. I pull my shirt back on and re-button it frantically before I grab on to Kai's hand, stopping him from walking over and hurting the poor unprepared blonde considering his focused anger to already be painful enough. "S…sorry to interrupt. Did um…Tyson…happen to come through here?" Max goes on, trying his best to behave normally even if his face is doing a great impression of a tomato right now. Kai just continues to glare so I answer him by nodding my head in the direction of Tyson's room. Max accepts my answer and starts to leave but he looks to Kai for permission before departing.

"Would it be terrible to get some damn respect around here? The doors don't slam themselves," Kai fumes, making his voice almost loud enough to be heard by Tyson as well. Max swallows guiltily and seems frozen in place and I laugh to myself at his petrified expression. I'm sure neither of them would appreciate my amusement at this particular time but it is hard to stop myself when something so simple receives such a huge response. I hide my smile before either of them notices and look down.

"S…sorry," Max stutters out again. I let go of Kai's hand as he turns away, managing to seem bored after all that. He now walks to the coat rack to gather his coat and scarf.

"Hey, wait," I jump up and over the chair, surprised at his choice to exit. "Where are you going?" He puts on his coat and scarf but stops his walk towards the door, allowing me the chance to follow but giving no other indication that he is going to explain.

Max meets my eyes as I turn back unsure. I didn't want to leave if something serious was going on but at the same time, I didn't want to let Kai leave without me either. I had waited too long to see him again and I wasn't about to let it be completely taken away, especially in this manner.

Max is a little less hesitant, just wanting to get on with his own business and get into the safety of his own room, so he takes a step in that direction but still waits for our approval.

"Can I…?" he stops and looks down embarrassed.

"What's going on with Tyson?" I venture to ask as I grab my own coat. Kai seems to tick at my stalling but continues to wait (im)patiently for me. Max blushes and shifts on his feet.

"Nothing important. Just a bad day. Sorry for disturbing you." He nods, no longer feeling threatened enough to stay and hurries on without receiving our permission.

I turn and swiftly catch Kai's hand again as he makes his move for the door.

"Just wait a minute." I temporarily halt him so I can pull my coat on. I button it up as he opens the door. Giving one last glance back as I hear Max's door close timidly, I follow Kai outside. The cold air hits me instantly and I pull my coat around me tighter, reaching absently for Kai's arm to wrap around for warmth. When I don't find it, I turn in his direction and see that he has already taken off ahead of me and doesn't show signs of slowing down or waiting for me to catch up. I jog the short distance to get back to his side and shiver as the air digs its artic chill right into my bones.

Not that I mind the silent walk with my boyfriend at night so he can get some air and clear his head but damn if he didn't pick the coldest night of the year.

At least it isn't raining.

I should just be happy he let me tag along. I'm sure if it were anyone else they wouldn't have made it that far past the door.

We walk in silence for quite some time. The street lights flicker, sending eerie shadows across the pavement and instinctively I move closer to him as if his dark aura will protect me.

He sighs.

"What happened while I was away?" his voice breaks through the still night like a hammer. I hold my breath a minute from the impact and then release my own sigh.

"This is what you want to talk about right now?" I spit out incredulously. He stops walking and turns to face me. I was shocked that that was what he had decided to start with instead of asking what I thought might have been wrong or what we should do about it. Then again, he never really was one for involving himself in other peoples' problems. That had always been something we drug out of him. Mostly because we all knew he would know a way out that was more than likely better than anything we ourselves could come up with. Either that or we wanted somebody to tell us when we were doing something stupid.

"You didn't want to tell me on the phone," he reiterates the conversation we had, crossing his arms. I snort, crossing my own arms and finally letting that anger I couldn't find earlier take control. He takes that as an indication that he needs to push harder. "Clearly something happened."

"You didn't care enough to check in," I retort. I didn't know why I suddenly decided to bring that up but he wasn't taking the bait, choosing instead to make me feel like I was the one who deserved to feel blamed.

"Are you really making this a fight?" He wasn't pleased, giving me his best 'I asked a clear question, why can't I just get a clear answer without the hostility?' face. Hearing nothing but an accusation, I can't stop myself from reacting defensively.

"Me?" I start, suddenly furious beyond words. "Me?! Everything you DO instigates a fight!" I shoot his accusation right back at him. He just rolls his eyes.

"I thought you were better than that." I growl and throw my hands up, walking away from him before being taken over by the urge to hit him. My body burns with the adrenaline and I clench my hands into fists and then release them again. The action doesn't go unnoticed as Kai watches me carefully. Seeming to realize how ridiculous we are both acting, he does his best to fix it before we really are throwing fists. "I'm not an enemy," his voice takes on a calming tone. I shoot him a dirty look before I huff out the annoyance and force myself to settle down, reaching a similar conclusion and wondering why I let myself get so worked up in the first place. Kai had not been the reason why my (and his) personal desires had been denied (twice) and it wasn't really fair to be taking it out on him.

"It's not related to what just happened," I respond with only a slight resentment lingering in my voice. I make a slight pause, the rest of it slipping away from me as I go over the situation in my head. "At least I don't think so. It shouldn't." I consider everything, going over any possible ways that it could be connected and then affirm my choice by shaking my head. "I don't see how it would be." He takes the two steps I had put between us and bridges the space by taking hold of my arms. I tense, remembering that we are still outside and take a glance around to see if anybody is around to see us. The cold comes back to me as well, having been suppressed by the bout of fury and I curl my shoulders up to fend it off.

"Just tell me what happened," he insists, bringing my attention back to him. I look up and let him explore my thoughts by locking our eyes.

"Max moved in," I say quietly. He closes his eyes but doesn't move. Bad sign. I rush to explain before he can become upset. "I was busy with work and didn't notice. Otherwise I would have stopped it. But…" His eyes open again to gather the rest of the information and I take a deep breath. "I think it was Tyson's idea. He…" I hesitate. Telling him what happened could go in many different directions and after having such a wonderful reunion, they weren't looking too great for anyone. "He…" I weigh the possible reactions, unwilling to let anything make this situation worse, but he just grows more uneasy.

"Tell me." Firm. Demanding. Forceful.

"He thinks you brainwashed me." An eyebrow raises. I bite my lip.

"Really?" Cautious. Reserved. Unreactive. Possible disbelief.

"Yes. He called you an addiction." I laugh a little at the thought. When you stopped to consider what made up an addiction, it probably wasn't too far off base. But as far as Tyson was concerned, it wasn't the type of addiction that really needed to be rehabilitated. It wasn't preventing me from functioning and it wasn't doing harm to anyone. "I think Max is his back-up to separate us somehow. Or maybe to protect him. I don't know."

He smirks.

"This could be interesting." Not a reaction I was expecting. He leans forward and places a small peck on my lips. "If he thinks he can separate us, then who are we not to give him a fight?" I shiver, getting a tiny chill from the words and he wraps himself around me to calm me down.

"I don't like that gleam in your eyes. What are you thinking?" He grabs my hand and pulls me back towards the house.

"Don't worry, it was actually YOUR idea."

I really don't like the sound of that…


	9. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry this took so long. I have had it finished for weeks and just needed to go over it one more time before posting but I got sick and looking at it was making me dizzy. I sometimes feel like I am getting farther and farther off topic and maybe even linger on things too long before moving on. Which, I may or may not fix later. All my stories seem to be works in progress because I am always spying ways to improve them. xD Anyway, thank you for your patience to anyone who even still reads this! Hopefully my next update won't be so long.

Chapter 8: Paralysis

Kai's scheming had started with a sloppy, fumbling mess of adrenaline, hormones, and promiscuous clothes throwing as we made our way from the front door to the bedroom. Although we didn't end up in Kai's side. Somehow we ended up in mine. Tossing books and tripping over boxes loudly and without regard to anyone else who might happen to hear us or our practically primal noises. This left me waking up alone, confused, and a bit self-conscious.

At the time it had seemed like a wonderful idea and all the funny, awkward moments had been perfect and the best way to end such a strange day, but knowing that Max was in the room next to mine and Tyson's was one of the doors we may or may not have ended up against on the way, made going out to face them just a little bit…uncomfortable. Neither Tyson nor Max had ventured out to check on us however, so maybe I was just being nervous and paranoid for no reason.

Then again, there was a part of me that wished I could have seen their faces when they woke up and came outside…

As I make my way to the kitchen for breakfast, I gather up all the clothes as I walk (well at least the ones I pass along the way), tossing them into Kai's room before I close the door and turn, sauntering my way to the doorway.

Everyone else was already there and even if I hadn't had the pleasure of seeing their faces when they emerged, I did when I entered the kitchen. They weren't talking to each other, or to Kai, who was standing in the corner sipping his morning coffee and studying them in scrutiny. I could only imagine the exchange of words between them before I had arrived, if there even was any. From the looks of them now, there very may well have been none. They silently picked at their plates and one look at Tyson told me that something else was going on, he had barely acknowledged his food and didn't seem at all thrilled at having it there. He would most definitely NOT keep quiet about anything, no matter how embarrassing it was and he DEFINITELY wouldn't deny himself the enjoyment of eating. Something was seriously wrong. The question I had now was, was it us or was it whatever had happened last night between them?

I set my gaze on Kai, who I would have the most luck with at getting any incite. He had probably been trying to form his own opinions about it but would most likely act like he hadn't been. He had an image to uphold after all.

"What did you do to them?" I half joke as I walk over to him, hoping he would at least give me a clue. Sadly, he just shrugs and hops up onto the counter to sit down as if he has no interest. Typical. He seems to think that toying with me would be much more amusing, at least for him.

"How's your back?" he smirks, to which I respond by hiding my face as it heats up. He might think it's funny, but it was still too early for me to find the humor in my discomfort. I brush past him quickly and retreat to the protection of the refrigerator door as I open it to hide my face.

"It…it's fine…" I mumble, trying to think about anything else while scanning the inside of the fridge for anything quick to eat.

"Shame," he tosses any conversation he had wanted to start aside and takes a sip from his cup. I sense that he has more he wants to say but he keeps it to himself, probably for my sake. I can't help feeling he'll probably resume his little taunts later when I am more receptive to it. His smirk fades to a more serious expression and he clears his throat, finally taking consideration of the other two boys. "Now that we're all here…" he starts. I peek out of my hiding place in curiosity, half wondering what he could possibly want to talk about with all of us. Max sends Tyson a look, which gets ignored as Tyson sinks deeper into his isolated stance, before Max turns to Kai.

"What's up Kai?" he asks quietly, doing his best to hide how much he wishes he were anywhere else but there. Whether it's us or Tyson making him that way, I am still unsure. I want to ask and part of me thinks maybe Kai does too as Kai looks between the two of them in partial interest. But after a few seconds he seems to decide that he doesn't really care as he sets his coffee cup down next to him on the counter.

"Since…" he takes a pausing look at Tyson again as the said boy starts fiddling with a spoon in ignorance before he continues. I can almost hear his thoughts as he is more than likely cursing Tyson for his disrespect, but he takes on a more mature façade and goes on without bringing it to attention. "…neither of you seem to be going anywhere any time soon, I think it's time you start paying your own expenses." This manages to get Tyson to look up.

"You're joking," he states in a degrading tone. Kai tilts his head in mild skepticism before answering him with a stern look.

"Oh I'm quite serious," he replies cynically, not covering up his irritation. "I know you guys think magical fairies go around and clean and pay for things but this is real life. It's time you two grew up and took responsibility for yourselves. I'm not your mother."

"Tch," Tyson condescends. I wait for the backlash but Kai ignores his want to confront the attitude again and hops down off the counter, reclaiming his coffee cup and downing the rest of it in one fluent movement. He walks around the counter and places his cup in the sink before turning back to the other boy and finishing his declarations.

"Considering how much you love food, you can start buying your own," he continues, unwavering in his resolve. I decide that I could not possibly love Kai any more than I already do as Tyson shoots up from his chair in protest. I know I shouldn't make fun of my friends but when you live with somebody like Tyson for long enough, catering to his "needs" becomes a bit of a never-ending burden. He hadn't even been there a whole month and I was already wondering if I should get a job just to pay for his meals alone. I mean, come on, the boy can eat a whole grocery store. The simple image of him shopping for his own food is like sweet justice. And perfect. So, so perfect. Kai is a genius. No question about it.

"What?! No way!" he explodes, throwing a vehement and almost threatening look at Kai. "How? Where? I don't even know…" Kai flicks his head up, tossing his bangs aside so his glare can't be mistaken for anything less than serious, as he takes the spoon from Tyson's grasp when Tyson shoots it out at him menacingly. Well…as menacing as a spoon can be…

"I guess you better figure it out then." Kai urges, using his authority, and Tyson immediately grumbles and sits back down, crossing his arms. Kai turns to Max who has been quiet throughout the whole incident, waiting patiently for it to be over. He's apprehensive about what his new duty could be but he accepts that Kai's demands are never anything less than reasonable. Kai would never ask for something that he didn't think could be provided. That's what made him a good captain. "You don't have a job Max, so you can do the cleaning. If you decide to get a job we can discuss any other contributions later." Max nods wordlessly and goes back to picking at his food. I start to feel pained for my friend in his distress but Tyson hardly leaves room to think about anyone else when he's around.

"This is so unfair," he goes on grumbling. Kai remains un-phased by the displeasure and isn't even surprised by what he asks next. "What about Ray?"

In response to hearing my name, I go back to hiding behind the refrigerator door, suddenly feeling guilty for some reason. But I don't miss the smirk that the question brings about on Kai's face before he disappears from my view. He was never taken off guard, and he wasn't about to start now. He had something else up his sleeve to play with.

"If you hadn't noticed, Ray cooks. He's already earned his stay here." He turns away from the sink and I can't help but hear the mischievous hints in his voice. "In many ways." He shrugs as if deciding that equal opportunity wasn't out of the question and goes on. "Unless you want to…"

"No!" Tyson is quick to protest any furthering of that sentence. "No, no. Food is good." The room goes oddly quiet as Kai is done with his correspondence and the other two are probably trying to get rid of the images he has just created for them. I know I am. That and I start to feel like a maid or a mail order bride. I hadn't done any of the things I do daily as a way of payment of any kind. I did them simply because it was in my nature to do so. Damn that nature of mine. The natural habit of wanting to help at all times was really hard to break. And I certainly didn't consider anything we did privately as a payment for anything either. That was just as much for me as it was for him.

So, am I really going to let him paint me like that to our friends? Like some sub-servant instant gratification device?

The answer is yes.

I am so mortified at just the playful (false) insinuation that I can't even think of a retort or a defense. I continue to use the refrigerator door as protection as I grab the first thing I touch and rush to get away from everyone as soon as possible. Kai, however, has other plans. I dunno, maybe he has a thing for dramatic 'I am superior so nobody can leave before I make everyone uncomfortable or angry' exits. Or maybe he just wanted me to feel the heat a little bit more. But on my way around the counter he blocks my exit and grabs me gently by the chin. As an automatic reaction, I forget my recent desire to vacate the premises and lock eyes with him. He doesn't say anything but even without words he manages to say a lot and I smile, as if letting him know I'm not mad or upset in any way.

"I don't want to be late," I reply quietly, the words coming out slow and in a way that makes me feel like somehow we'd become the only two people left in the world. I was saying words that implied that I wanted to go, but there was no indication otherwise of my actually doing so. I catch a glint of adoration in his eye that lets me know that he isn't fooled but he'll play along anyway and he brings my face to his so he can kiss me chastely but lovingly, the aftertaste of coffee still on his lips and leaving a bitter tingle on mine.

"You should at least cook that first. You don't wanna get sick." He teases slyly before he gracefully turns and leaves the room himself. I stand there dazed a minute, unsure of exactly what he was talking about but Tyson decides to outburst again and my attention drops back into reality. Can't think of anything but him, remember?

"Who does he think he is? Just ordering us around all the time… He said he wasn't my mom but he sure sounds like one!" Tyson bangs his hands on the table and stands up, angrily grabbing his plate and whipping his way over to the sink, practically shoving me out of the way.

"Just do it Tyson, it's better than the alternative," Max tries to calm him down. He was the smarter of the two of course, seeing the bigger picture and his way to stay without being made to feel unwanted. To him, everything worked out for the best.

"Nobody asked you," Tyson bites back before storming out of the kitchen himself. I flitch at the tone and wonder what they could be fighting about that would cause a rift that deep between them. They were pretty much inseparable all the time so anything that could make them fight like that must be pretty big.

Max sighs and shovels the last remnants of food from his plate into his mouth and stands up himself. He passes by me to discard his own dishes but before he leaves I figured I would at least attempt to find out what was going on so I lightly tap his arm to get his attention as he turns.

"Hey Max. What do you think about…"

"Nice try Ray, but not this time. It's too important to just blurt out and you can't trick me like you used to. I'm smarter than that now." He gives me a small smile and a pat on the back, leaving the dishes and walking to the doorway. "And Kai's right. You should really cook those first." He winks and disappears. I look down at the object in my hand and realize it's a carton of eggs.

I close my eyes, cursing myself for how stupid I can be sometimes and take it back to the fridge, returning it and grabbing a piece of fruit. Taking a bite, I exit the kitchen myself and start down the hallway. I pass Kai as he's on his way to leave for work, carrying his laptop and shuffling through a pile of papers.

Papers.

"Shit." I curse, dropping my mouth open at forgetting my assignments AGAIN and alerting Kai enough to look up at me surprised. He quickly covers up the emotion and looks back down at his papers as he keeps walking.

"You don't have to announce it before you go," he relays cynically. I ignore the snide remark and run past him and into the library. I scramble to find my notes for my final unfinished essay but stop short when instead I find a paper with my name on it sticky noted to the computer screen.

"You're welcome!" I hear Kai yell before the front door closes as a final farewell. I pick up the paper, a fond smile washing over my face. I take back what I said before about not thinking I could love him any more than I already do.

"God, I love that man," I relax from my panic and run a hand through my hair, tucking it behind my ear and out of my face.

"Hey Ray!" Tyson suddenly drops in behind me. "Can I ride with you again? I don't like travelling alone…" I barely regard him with a nod.

"Uh, okay. Just let me get dressed…" I mumble absently and he jumps up in celebration. Then the realization hits me and I look up sharply. "But only if Max comes too. I have something I need to talk with him about before class." Tyson's previous enjoyment of my answer fades and he huffs, but shrugs in agreement anyway.

"Yeah sure," he says shortly. I silently praise myself at my brilliant plan to get the two of them back together before taking the paper and the rest of my school work and walking back towards my room, reading it over. It was absolutely beautiful and I am captivated. What made it so great was how much the paper sounded like me. Nobody else reading it would ever know that I wasn't the author. How the hell does he do that so well? "And you might want to wear a high collar," Tyson remarks as he follows me out, stopping me in my tracks and forcing my happy thoughts to sink below ones of shame. The slight pain of the bruise starts to throb in response, having the attention thrown on it and my hand drifts to my neck. I turn only to catch Tyson's sour look before he disappears into his room to finish getting ready himself.

"Thanks…" I reply absently. If his mood didn't improve pronto, I might never get to savor my enjoyment ever again.

"I have a turtleneck if you want to borrow it," Max pokes his head out from behind me. I turn towards him. At least Max was more helpful and less…demoralizing.

"Sure." Despite the idea that he was offering me help, I suddenly feel surrounded and vulnerable, having been the only one who apparently hadn't noticed or cared about the mark or the insinuations that it implied. I couldn't even stop to appreciate the sweet gesture my boyfriend had made to me because all my head space was filled with other voices and concerns about how humiliating it would be to walk into a classroom of people who didn't know who I was, or maybe even did somewhat, and be subject to all their judging and scrutinizing stares. Why do all the things that make you feel good have such bad stigmas?

Max drops back into his room and I hear him rummaging through some things before he pops back out a minute later, holding out a black sweater.

"This is yours?" I ask skeptically, staring at him in disbelief. He smiles, the first genuinely normal thing he's done all day, and hands it over.

"My Mom bought it for me to wear to my interviews. She said it would make me look more professional and classy," he explains. I laugh at the sentiment and gladly accept it.

"Thanks," I smile back and go to get dressed. I think over how I can get the two of them to talk while on our travels as I get ready and then go out to meet them. But my genius plan turns out not to be that genius after all and only seems to make them 10 times more awkward and insistent on not communicating with each other. It was even more awkward for me because whenever one of them would try to talk to me, the other would interrupt and it would end in complete silence between all three of us. I was determined to figure out what was going on and get them to make up again but it was clear that this hadn't been the way to do it.

Max's phone ringing was the only thing that broke the heavy silence and he gruffly apologizes before answering. Tyson takes the distraction as an advantage to get a word in.

"Truth or Dare, Ray?"

"Oh, um, dare?" I say unsure. It seemed very random and out of place, even for Tyson but I guessed it wouldn't hurt to play along anyway.

"Okay, I dare you to do something crazy." A pause. "With Kai." As if that would make it more interesting. I look at him as if I just realized he was there and was actually talking to me and contemplate the dare carefully.

"Define 'crazy'." I laugh at him, growing amused at how juvenile I feel for even thinking about seriously.

"Break into a house. Steal something and then return it. Sleep in a store after it's closed. I dunno!" He throws his hands up incredulously.

"So, besides starting a criminal record, what ELSE constitutes 'crazy'?" I bemuse, not taking his theatrics for a real challenge. He growls, clearly frustrated by my answer.

"Tys, I think you need a vacation," Max interjects, finally done with his phone call. "You're starting to talk…nonsensical." Tyson rolls his eyes and scowls.

"Like you would know," he mutters unpleasantly. I pull on Tyson's sleeve to get him to look at me. Even if he wouldn't talk to Max or see how much the other boy was hurting, maybe he would still listen to me.

"Hey, whatever is going on between you two needs to be fixed. This isn't like you. Either of you," I insist, giving Max a look as well and hoping at least one of them would crack and just tell me. My efforts are fruitless as usual and the whole matter gets brushed aside again.

"Please Ray?" Tyson switches moods and puts on a begging face. "You committed when you chose 'Dare'."

I sigh not getting what I wanted and not seeing any other way out.

"Fine, but it'll have to wait. This is your stop."

"Yes!" Tyson cheers. He throws an elated hug around me, then pinches my cheek and runs to get off the bus before it leaves with him still on it. "I can't wait to see what you come up with! I'll go tell Kai!" The doors close and he waves good-bye before running off into the BBA building excitedly. At least he's thinking more highly of Kai again. That's some progress right? I swear that kid is bipolar.

"God, what have I done?" I shake my head and drop it with a groan. Max snickers, reminding me that he's still there and I look back up at him. "Oh come on! You could at least offer a suggestion instead of making fun." I smile and push him, which only makes him laugh a little harder and then dwindle off into a silent smirk. "Jerk," I say teasingly. He coughs and his smile fades a little as he seems to sink into deep thought.

"Ray, can I ask you something personal?" he starts timidly.

"Sure, Max. We ARE friends after all."

"When you… I mean, did you… How long…" he struggles to find the right words. "Have you always known or did it just kind of…happen?" He turns hopeful eyes on me. The kind that instantly make me feel sorry for him but without knowing why. Ones that are searching for something solid but can't quite grasp anything but sand. Then as quickly as it had come, his expression changes and he looks away. "Mmm, never mind. I'm not sure what I am even asking…" I smile reassuringly and hope he knows his words weren't completely lost of meaning. Even if I wasn't exactly sure what was going through his head, I suddenly had an idea that everything was connected even if it seemed separate.

"Max, does this have anything to do with Tyson?" I pause, judging a reaction before I continue. He doesn't look back up and seems to start fidgeting and shuffling his feet. In my book, that's a clear sign I'm not too far off base. "Do you perhaps…LIKE…Tyson?" I suggest, hoping it isn't too forward or off putting to be so direct with him. I admit I had become a bit rusty in my intuitive nature but it was still a natural ability and I couldn't deny its accuracy even if my confidence wasn't as strong. His face twisting into a panicked expression and the light flush was enough for me to know I wasn't completely stabbing at air. But before he gets too uncomfortable I shake my head. "Or maybe you're just unsure? No pressure. I'm not trying to make assumptions and I don't want to seem like just because I developed feelings for Kai that it…" His face starts to get darker and I start to panic myself, not wanting to push him farther away. "…happens to everyone…or that…this is weird. I'm so sorry." I sigh and open my mouth so start an apology speech or maybe a speech about how awkward it was for me at first too and that I'm there if he wanted to talk. Or anything, just to make him feel more comfortable.

"Yes," he replies in a soft almost whisper, keeping his head down and his eyes on his feet. "Maybe." He springs back to life suddenly and looks up in frustration. "I wish I knew!" I watch him a minute, unsure, letting him have the silent battle with himself about his confession. Also allowing it to sink in to my own brain as well. It wasn't a complete shock seeing as how they were always together. And Max never held back anything with Tyson the way he did with other people. It made perfect sense. And maybe it was strange to think that Max, the boy who openly flirts with girls and reads those bikini catalogs, was into a guy, but hey, if he was anything like me, it wasn't because he was a guy, it was because he was Tyson. Which I could totally understand. Not that I liked Tyson, or had ever thought I did, but he had his charming qualities. His determination for one. His altruism and his ability to forgive just about anything and act like it never happened. He had a very pure soul. Which is also why his behavior the past few weeks was absolutely perplexing. I wonder if that was connected as well somehow.

But I'm getting off topic. Max obviously needs a friend right now.

"Max," I try to get his attention back. "If you want to figure it out…I'm here for you. No judgement. I'll listen."

"I can't," he sighs. "Tyson said… He… He likes someone else." He shakes his head as if to rid himself of the information, its meaning, and everything that had just been passed between us.

"Is that what you are fighting about?" I can't help my curiosity or want to resolve the issues at hand but his entire demeanor changes once more and he graces me with his normal wide smile, looking much more like himself and much less of a wreck.

"How'd you do on that project anyway? It was hard right? I didn't think they gave us enough time. I almost forgot about it with all this president stuff going on. I'm happy it'll be over soon." I frown. He obviously wanting to talk about it but he was still holding himself back for some reason. Maybe it was whatever had happened between him and Tyson or maybe it was something Tyson had told him to keep a secret, but he was clearly conflicted over it and needed to get his thoughts out. I could tell that even after taking that first step, he was still hesitant and unsure. So, against my better judgement and my desire to help, I decide to play along, not wanting to push him too far if he wasn't completely ready yet. I know how hard it was for me when I was fighting myself. I almost wish I had had the courage he just displayed to ask somebody else before Kai figured it out himself. It probably would have been much easier to deal with.

"How long until you know?"

"Soon. The girls running for VP and Treasurer are going to help me take all the posters down next week so I can finish my midterms. This school stuff is rough!" He laughs, knowing how hard I had been working as well and trusting that I would understand.

"What are you going to do if you win? Your free time will disappear fast!" I laugh in return. He nods enthusiastically in agreement.

"Yeah, but that might be nice though." I sense something hidden in his words but choose not to inquire further. The little pings of curiosity getting harder and harder to ignore as my conscience continues overpowers them.

"Being busy is nice but it's good to relax too. Winter break will be nice. Are you going home for the holidays?" I ask partly wondering if maybe Kai and I could spend the holidays alone but knew that even if we didn't we would still have fun with all of us together. Honestly I couldn't wait to decorate. This would be the first year celebrating in my own place. I had wanted to make it special and had started planning it in my head months ago. I hadn't been able to get Kai as enthusiastic about it though. Halloween was probably a better holiday to try and get him excited for. I can just picture the horrors he would develop. I shiver just thinking about it.

"I'm not sure. I have to talk to my Dad." Max responds, letting the rest of the conversation drop and falling into a thoughtful silence. He sends a few more picks at me about his new cleaning duties and having to deal with Tyson's dare, mocking my utter lack of resolve before we reach our stop and go our separate ways. After he leaves I am not quite sure how to go about approaching the subject again. Tyson was surely oblivious to the situation, IF it hadn't been what they had fought about, and Max probably wasn't going to bring it up so freely again. My need to help eventually would jump ahead of my conscious effort to allow him the space and time he needed to decide on his own to talk. But I wasn't sure who to talk to first and wondered if it would bother Kai if I asked him for advice. Just the thought of asking Kai seemed a strange consideration, but that's what people do when they're in a relationship right? Talking might be something we needed to start working on and maybe this was a good way to start.


	10. Chapter 9

A/N: Well I'm glad at least one person likes my mindless dribble. I really appreciate it and thank each and every one of you. :) Somebody feel free to let me know if I jump around too much. I know I started a bunch of tangents to go off of. I hope you trust me enough to tie them all together eventually. Maybe after a few more random tangents. Haha! I love you guys…

Chapter 9: Act Re-Act

Continuous thought over Tyson's behaviors since moving in as well as finding out about my and Kai's relationship had led me to believe that I knew who his possible "crush" was…all TOO well. As much as I wanted to resist such conclusions, it was difficult to deny; especially considering Max's reluctance to speak on the issue and his growing uneasiness at approaching me with the subject. The answer was really quite simple.

It was me.

Reaching this notion had been relatively easy and painfully obvious. I could slap myself for not realizing it sooner or even in the moment that the insinuation of a crush had been introduced. But there it was now, blinding me with its clarity. The way Tyson was so adamant to bash Kai openly in front of me. The intervention. The invites to practically everywhere, including travelling to work when he could more conveniently travel with Kai. The discomfort over Kai and I's affection towards one another. His curiosity. It was all so, so apparent.

It hurt.

To think that I could be so blind and inconsiderate to my friend's feelings. That I blatantly flaunted and purposely provoked him with our open exploitations. I had egged Kai into doing the same, declaring it an 'experiment' when in reality it was just a mean and unnecessary spectacle that created a rift of resentment between us. No wonder Tyson was always so vehement these days. It was cruel. Too cruel for me to continue without feeling more terrible than I already do for even starting it.

And so, here I am, taking a detour from my regular routine and schedule, to walk here. Even if I couldn't approach Tyson about all this without starting something entirely different, I COULD approach Kai. I needed to tell him my thoughts and ask for a better solution than just avoiding Tyson altogether, which was impossible anyway. Besides, we needed to talk about Max's little secret too.

Man, this place is a lot different when you walk in without a request to be there. I feel like everyone is staring at me. Is there something in my hair?

I brush a hand through my hair as if to make sure and then straighten my shirt unconsciously.

"Hey Ray! Long time no see!" one of the secretaries waves over at me. I smile back at her and quickly stop my fidgeting.

"Oh Ray! You look great! How've you been?" another secretary greets me after my presence had been called to her attention. Before I can say anything in response to either of them, three more people approach me and offer me their hellos.

"Good to see you around, Ray."

"Almost got the whole crew here today, eh? Get into any trouble lately?"

"Ray, you totally gotta talk to Tyson about 'professionalism'. He totally doesn't get it." An eye-roll.

I laugh. I take back my statement indicating that this is uncomfortable. It's strangely relaxing when everybody knows your name. I pass by a few more vaguely familiar faces wandering the hallways and exchange brief 'hello's' before I step into the elevator and take it up to the third floor. I could see how this wouldn't be such a bad place to work.

I hear the ding before the doors open and step out into the new hallway. This one has much less people in it and the ones that are, don't look nearly as cheery. Okay, so maybe it's not as great as it seems on the outside. I wonder why the atmosphere is so different up here.

I send a few nods to a couple of guys looking over the vending machines tiredly and make my way to the office at the end of the hallway. The secretary there looks up as she hears my entrance and eyes me curiously, not quite sure what to make of me.

"You lost?" she asks me critically. I smile to lessen the tension and shake my head.

"Um, hello. I'm here to see Kai?" I answer and she immediately nods her head towards a chair.

"Mr. Hiwatari is in a meeting but it should be over shortly."

"Thanks." I obey her silent request and take a seat in one of the chairs lined up against the wall behind the door. Having Kai addressed in such a manner only made me feel small and I wondered if he cringed internally every time he heard his name spoken that way. He had never struck me as one for such formalities. Especially since he seemed to stray from all the appropriate rules and guidelines that he was supposed to follow. He had always made his own rules, even when he was doing what he was told.

"I'm going to go find some coffee. You want anything?" the secretary asks as she stands up. I shake my head and she shrugs. "Suit yourself." She exits, closing the door behind her and I am left alone to ponder why I am starting to feel like a child waiting to see a doctor for a checkup.

A few minutes later the door slams open, fast, and nearly crushes my fingers as it hits the chair. Good thing my cat-like reflexes are fully intact, as I manage to stand up and move away before any harm could be done.

"That doesn't make any sense at all! Hiro, listen. You gotta talk to them. They listen to you," Tyson bursts out in to the room as exuberant as ever, and completely oblivious to my presence or his attempt to cut off my extremities.

"Tyson, the condition of the microwave isn't what a staff meeting is meant for. Write a note for the janitor or the director. Sheesh." Hiro comes into view behind him but he doesn't enter the room, instead stopping in the doorway. On some level I am surprised to see him after so long but that thought is relinquished almost as quickly as it had appeared. He does work here too after all. Quite closely with Kai if I remember correctly.

Unlike his brother, he notices my presence right away and turns away from the annoying outburst to offer me a hand in greeting.

"Ray! You don't happen to be here for a job, do ya?"

I take the hand and smile.

"Not today," I laugh off the mere idea.

"Pity." He sends me a sympathetic look and goes on his way, trying to hide the pain on his face from the headache he probably had. Tyson, following his brother's consideration, lingers behind.

"Yo, Ray! Listen! I found this really awesome place I wanted to try for lunch, wanna come?"

"Well actually…" I look past him at Kai as he finally makes his entrance into the room.

"But you're gonna love it! Kai's buying. He already owes me from earlier," he beams. Kai just shakes his head and crosses to his office.

"Umm…" I debate my options in this situation, wondering whether to just ignore Tyson and follow or to show some sort of politeness and at least decline properly. Kai seems to already know that leaving such a decision to myself is trouble and grabs my arm, pulling me into the room with him.

"Good-bye Tyson," he salutes and closes the door behind us. He stands next to me for a minute, letting out a heavy breath and seemingly counting to 10 before he relaxes and walks over to his desk to sit down at his computer to work. I watch him a minute, undecided on what to do next.

"Kai?" I ask hesitantly, if only to remind him that I am still there. He doesn't respond and I start to feel out of place and intrusive, which is ridiculous since he was the one who had invited me in to begin with. However, he was obviously busy even if he hadn't told me to leave. I take that to mean that I'm not unwanted but he had other things that needed attention first. So instead of bothering him further, I take the opportunity to wander around a bit, looking over the plaques and posters on the walls. My eyes find a picture resting comfortably on a small shelf and stop. It was framed nicely but was noticeably old based on its discoloration and the frayed edges that were visible under the glass. It was a picture of us. The five of us. The first picture they took after we had won the World Championships the first time. Without realizing it, my hand drifts up to touch it.

Everyone was so different back then. THINGS were different back then.

"Seems like forever ago, huh?" Kai's voice halts me and makes me withdrawal embarrassed. I turn to find him watching me and he smiles. I return the smile, the uneasiness of being caught dissipating at his friendly reception.

"If you had this why'd you bring home that terrible painting? This was more what I meant," I motion towards the picture fondly.

"Oh, you mean you don't like the painting I made?" he scowls as if he's hurt by my words.

"You made that?" I stare at him in disbelief, starting to feel a bit panicked.

"Yeah. I have to express myself somehow, don't I?"

"Oh man, well I can't say I didn't LIKE it. Not really anyway. It's just that…"

"Relax," he stops me before I get too carried away with my apology. "I bought it at an Estate Sale. It was only a few dollars." I let out a big breath of relief and chuckle.

"Okay, I hate it," I admit openly.

"Yeah, me too," he agrees, shrugging it off before going back to his work.

"So why did you buy it?" I ask incredulously.

"Because you asked me to. I was being facetious."

"Hn." I shake my head and walk over to his desk, putting my palms down on the edge and leaning over him. "What are you working on?" I change the subject, acting as if I would understand it. I might in a way but if he got too technical it would sound like the gibberish Kenny spouts all the time. I am actually surprised at how much Tyson has started to sound that way too. When I overhear his talking to Max or Kai he spouts things just as technical and gibberish-y. Was it possible that he was learning something here?

"Just work, nothing special." Kai seems to know my thoughts and waves it off nonchalantly. He shuffles through a few papers, types something into his computer and looks back up. "And to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit to? Did I forget your birthday?" I snort and move away from the desk to sit down in a chair that's a few paces away.

"Not yet but I'll be sure to be a complete drama queen when you do so you never forget again," I throw back teasingly.

"Please do," he replies coyly before completely refocusing on his work again.

"I just wanted to talk. Well ask. Or maybe address. I'm not sure about exact phrasing…" I look up at the ceiling as if thinking and I catch the bemused look he sends me in response to my mindless yammering. I smile playfully and meet his eyes. "Are you free enough for lunch? You get one of those right? I'd understand if you aren't though. No pressure." I try to sound laid back and non-persuasive but he knows I'm toying with him and responds in much the same way.

"I don't know. I'm a busy person, after all…"

As if to prove his point, even if he was joking, the door opens timidly.

"Mr. Hiwatari, Mr. Makoto is on the phone. He says it's urgent."

"Thanks," Kai rolls his eyes and she smiles warily before bowing and closing the door again. "It's a freakin' kid's game, how 'urgent' can it be?" he grumbles. He picks up the phone angrily and pushes a button. "Hello, Mr. Makoto?" he questions gruffly. "I heard this was 'urgent'?" His attempt to be polite doesn't mask his mocking tone on the last word or his irritation of the situation. I decide that this is probably a private matter and I shouldn't be sitting here eavesdropping, so I stand up to leave. I send a quick, reassuring smile at him to let him know I'd be right outside when he was done. He doesn't like this choice and stands up to stop me. "Wait. Ray. Just… No! I told you yesterday that that wouldn't work. The trajectory is all off. I sent you the modifications. Did you not understand?" I hesitate, unsure of what to do as his mood seems to play volleyball with itself. "Ugh, well that's not my fault. Take it up with Granger. I told you I didn't want to be invol…" He twitches and as I watch him get more and more frustrated, I get an idea. "I don't care which one." I smirk and sneak my way around the back of his chair, making sure he's completely distracted by how annoyed he is to notice. I place my hands on his shoulders and massage them smoothly as the tension around him seems to keep building up. He is startled at first, trying to move away before he realizes what I am doing but his conversation becomes more important than my advances. "This whole project wasn't even a part of my department." He growls before I feel him start to relax and he sits back down. Soon after, the tone of his voice changes to match the tension leaving his shoulders. "I understand, sir." He closes his eyes. "Yes, sir. I'll make sure he knows." He hangs up the phone and moves back into my touch to better appreciate it. He lets out a contented sigh and opens his eyes to look up at me. "How about that lunch?"

"Well…if you're too busy…" I start to drift away, which he responds to by grabbing my wrist and pulling me down so he can trap me from leaving, so I drape my other arm over his shoulder and hug him loosely.

"I can be persuaded…" he smirks before tilting his head to kiss the amusement right off my face.

"Gross. Are you guys ever not fooling around?" Tyson enters the room without bothering to knock. I try to pull away instantly but Kai increases his hold, keeping me in place and not losing the teasing smirk he has from making me flustered. My uncomfortableness only grows because of my recent understanding of Tyson's feelings and I persist, managing to loosen the hold slightly but not enough to be released. Tyson drops a handful of menus onto Kai's desk and plops down in the chair I had used before.

"Don't be jealous," Kai replies audaciously, continuing to ignore him and still trying to keep me from pulling away again, but I successfully push him back and take a few steps away. He sulks but turns back to Tyson anyway.

Tyson blushes and Kai quirks an eyebrow, not quite expecting such a reaction. Me, not being surprised anymore, blushes myself and tries to hide it by covering my face with a hand.

"I'm…n…not jealous. That's ridiculous!" Tyson protests. Kai studies him judgingly before giving me a look and turning away, suddenly annoyed again.

"What do you want anyway?" he asks Tyson dryly. Tyson growls at the tone and motions to the menus he had placed in front of us.

"Lunch!" he replies delightfully. "I told you, you owe me!" Kai looks up at the ceiling as if to keep himself from saying something bitter. I was nonplused at why he would be taking such a precaution but what he said next was even more perplexing.

"Fine, but if I owe you then it's your choice right?" he sends Tyson a tired look and I toss a few glances between them as Tyson jumps up victoriously.

"Yes! I know the perfect place! Ray, you're gonna love it! I knew you'd see it my way, Kai." He rushes over to give Kai a quick pinch on the cheek and whirlwinds out of the office. "I'll meet you guys outside!" He calls, followed by a crash, an apology and a tired sigh from the secretary as he moves on.

"What was that about? You really owe him lunch?" I look at Kai confused and a little put off. I had wanted to spend our lunch alone so we could discuss everything that was going on, Tyson tagging along made that difficult. Not only that but it was unusual for Kai to go along with Tyson's frolics, much less something where he owed Tyson anyway. It just seemed an unlikely scenario under any circumstances.

He makes a noise of ungratefulness before gathering up the piles on his desk into a neat stack and sliding them into a drawer and locking it.

"Yeah. Just a friendly game I never should have agreed to. He's too damn lucky for his own good." He stands and turns towards me, ready to leave, but seeing the look of suspicion I had failed to hide from my face, he crosses his arms and remains stationary instead. "Don't look at me like that. He told me you had a similar situation this morning. Or was he lying about that?"

I roll my eyes to the side and relax into a fatigued pout.

"Thanks for reminding me. I'm still trying to figure out how to get out of that one…"

"Maybe this is an opportunity to get him to lay off," Kai offers as a comfort. I snort at the thought but nod in agreement.

"Let's give it our best shot." I throw out my apprehension of going along with them before I get to properly discuss things with Kai, and follow. And not only was nothing resolved, lunch became something much more interesting than meaningless conversation and idle banter.

I had never considered Kai as a possible candidate for Tyson's affection. Whenever Tyson regarded him, he acted like he hated him; like he was poisonous. I guess there IS that saying that there's a fine line between love and hate. The obsession of hating someone can consume the mind until it's all you think about. Then, it's just a matter of time before your feelings become something different. Sitting here watching Tyson's body language and the way his eyes lit up when he was teasing Kai and getting away with it, I couldn't deny the probability.

The implication made me feel awkward. Not because I ever thought Kai would respond to his advances if they became more sensual, but because Tyson was very good at invading personal space and making it look innocent. In those cases, it was often overlooked and brushed aside, even by Kai. Not only that, but Tyson was always around. Avoiding him, his presence, his voice, his…overpowering personality, was not easy. For anyone. And they worked together. Him and Kai. I was much more comfortable thinking that I was the object of Tyson's affection. Kai, was a whole different story.

Subconsciously, I move closer to Kai, even despite our rather 'public' meeting place. I wanted to put whatever unwelcome feelings that watching the two of them exchange insults was bringing up inside my gut. At first, neither of them notice the movement, being too preoccupied with their quarreling. However, that sneakiness was shattered when my hand drops onto Kai's leg and stays there. He stops his protest to whatever Tyson had pushed on to him to look over at me, his discomfort clear on his face but no other movement was made to call attention to my bold gesture.

I try to act natural, like it was a mistake made on purpose, which just leads him to watch me closely as I shift and remove the hand to grab a cup of water.

I still feel his eyes studying me as I look away and casually take a sip.

"What's wrong, Kai? Did you not hear me?" Tyson raises his voice to catch Kai's attention back. The eyes linger on me a moment before shifting back to Tyson.

"Yeah," Kai snarls.

I take my napkin from my lap and stand up before either of them starts another fight.

"Sorry to bail but I gotta get back to class. I'll cya guys at home." I nod at Tyson and squeeze Kai's shoulder as I pass by him, making sure Tyson is paying attention when I do. It is really ironic that only an hour or so ago I had dedicated myself to making him less uncomfortable around us and now all I wanted was to make him as uncomfortable as possible. I feel the eyes on me again but ignore them, (as well as my face heating up), and continue to the exit without looking back.

I start to feel sick.

If Tyson liked Kai, what did that mean for us? If it HAD been me that he liked, we could work it out. Our friendship might become a little weird but we could at least compromise or find a way to get used to it. We could talk it through and everything could work out. But Kai? Kai was mine. Well, as much mine as Kai could be. I had a feeling that me suddenly becoming possessive would lead Kai to feel trapped and eventually to him pulling away, which on all levels was NOT what I wanted. And it would totally ruin my friendship with Tyson if I decided to start treating him differently, possibly even negatively. But what was I supposed to do?

Even the fresh air wasn't enough to calm me down. It all felt suffocating and I didn't know why. It wasn't like Tyson had openly admitted to anything. I was basing ALL of my conclusions on a secondhand story that was completely incomplete. Who was to say that Tyson even liked either of us? Or even a guy? He had made no move to suggest so. He'd been nothing but himself around either of us. So why did I feel so paranoid? Was it Max's confession? If Max liked Tyson, then what was stopping me from believing that Tyson liked Kai? It wasn't completely farfetched, but I was still letting my thoughts get the best of me with no real proof.

Besides, it wasn't like Tyson would have a shot with Kai anyway…right? Sure, Kai tolerated him way more than he would ever tolerate anyone else who approached him in such ways. And sure, they were together practically 24 hours a day. But none of that means anything. That's just my insecurity talking…

"What was that about?" Kai startles me from behind and I jump. I spin around to find him right behind me, arms crossed, critical look on his face, watching everything I do with total attentiveness.

I grip my shirt over my chest, my heart not ready to slow down yet from the surprise.

"You scared me," I state the obvious, before dropping my hands and taking a small step towards him. "What happened to Tyson?" I look behind him, expecting the other boy to be on his heels or somewhere else close by.

"Bathroom. That doesn't answer my question." I cringe. I didn't want to start a fight but I didn't want to talk about this here. Not when Tyson would be there any second to interrupt and probably make things more complicated than they needed to be.

"It's nothing," I reply, giving the door behind him a nervous glance that betrayed my affirmation. "I really gotta go. Talk later?" I smile and turn to leave, rushing through any communication that he might have in response.

"Ray." He stops me dead in my tracks. I turn back around, slowly, and with substantial guilt displayed on my face.

"It's really nothing." I shake my head as if it will make him agree with me. The door opens, producing Tyson and I take another step forward, grabbing onto Kai's arm. "Just trying to get through this day so I can see you again." I smile again but much less fake and much more seductive. Totally lame. I have no idea what I was even thinking with a line like that. I can see the gears working inside his head as he doesn't buy it either, but Tyson jumps on him before he can tell me to try again. The action makes me release him and turn away again, taking the distraction as my way to escape. Without acknowledging the twinge of jealousy, the desire to clobber Tyson, or the want to permanently attach myself to Kai's hip, I make my way back to the bus stop and the escape of being consumed with school.

Something was seriously wrong if I felt that school was a "safe" place, and yet there I was, wanting it way more than facing Kai at that moment. I knew I would have to tell him everything anyway. And as much as that had been my original goal, I had a feeling there was nothing but trouble waiting for me when I got home and did just that.


	11. Chapter 10

A/N: Don't hate me.

Chapter 10: Rush

"What am I doing here?"

I smirk.

"I already told you. We're settling a deal."

"I understand that. What am I doing…HERE?" Kai stresses the last part as if to make a point at how ridiculous my plan was. "It's the middle of winter…" Tyson laughs and I fight the urge to shove him off the edge. He wasn't going to steal the happiness I was finding in my brilliant plan. He was only there as proof of my results so he couldn't say I didn't follow through. If I had had a choice, he wouldn't have come at all.

I look down, hoping that I hadn't reasoned myself into something that would end up getting us all killed. The swirling water below isn't much of a comfort either, but I look up at the pulley and give the rope a little tug just to be sure of its safety.

"Don't tell me you're scared," I tease, receiving a dark scowl in return.

"Hardly. Can we just get this over with?" He crosses his arms to make himself look more threatening but being strapped up to the harness pack just makes the gesture look comical.

"Come on Kai, live a little!" Tyson wraps an arm around him and pulls him closer for a moment before Kai shakes him off and walks over to the edge of the bridge next to me.

"You know when people tell you to 'jump off a bridge' it's just a figure of speech right? I hardly consider this 'living'." I laugh. I had known he wasn't thrilled but I hadn't expected him to be THIS negative. It was almost as if I had asked him to swim in a fountain in the middle of the park or something else just as publically humiliating. I had chosen this particular adventure because I KNEW there would be no spectators. At least none besides the guy I paid to collect us at the bottom and Tyson, who I might add, was having a blast at Kai's discomfort.

It had been a few days since my epiphany about Tyson's feelings for Kai. Kai and I had gone through a phase of discussing things without discussing anything and eventually he had given up on asking. Tyson was still Tyson and Max was still in denial and avoiding most conversations with anyone. He gave the impression that he was just busy but it was becoming apparent that he was really just avoiding confrontation. He would no longer look me in the eye when we were alone together at any time and acted his normal self around everyone else so nobody sensed anything was amiss. Tyson had been constantly reminding me that I still owed him his dare and I had been racking my brain at a compromise for something Kai wouldn't just blatantly turn down.

"We've done things a lot worse, stop complaining," I chastise him with a smile. "Besides, it'll help you relieve some of that stress that's wrinkling your pretty face." He sends me another scowl.

"Why did I trust you enough to let you talk me into this again?" He ignores my attempt to placate him and I roll my eyes. It had taken a lot of coaxing but I had somehow convinced him that it was for his own benefit and not just because I wanted to avoid gaining a criminal record from anything Tyson had offered as suggestions.

"Its good training! AND I ALLOWED you to have a harness. I coulda just suggested we jump without one like we do in my village." I justify the safety of the endeavor and he finally concedes.

"Fine. Tyson. You go first." Without warning Kai gives Tyson's leg a tap and he slips, complete panic washing over his face before he goes screaming over the edge. A loud 'twang' sounds and the rope attached to him jumps and then his cries grow louder as he snaps back upward.

"This!" Twang. "Is!" Twang. "Awesome!"

I can't stop smiling as I shake my head. Kai takes a step towards me and I tense, expecting the same sort of treatment and not being prepared for it at all. Yeah sure, I was strapped in and ready to jump with the rest of them but I wasn't prepared for a surprise descent into oblivion. I hadn't properly secured all the ties yet. As if to prove this I start to pull on the security strap across my waist.

"Tell me what this is really about?" It was clear that he wasn't convinced of my motives. I admit the idea was a little abnormal, even for me. I had come across the information while I was studying and had deemed it a nice solution to all my immediate problems. 1. Tyson's mouth constantly calling me a liar and a sour sport. Things Kai would easily ignore, but with me it just made me more determined to show him just how opposite of such a thing I really was. 2. Life's pressure. I needed to feel in control of the chaos that swirled around me. What better way to do that then to be in a situation where control didn't exist at all? And 3. Kai. I didn't want to admit out loud that him always being the one initiating everything made me feel incapable and almost like an accessory. I wanted to know that what I gave to him wasn't just mindless effort on my part and that somebody (not mentioning any names) could provide him with the same things, and more, and somehow become more desirable in the process. With a little primping and a lot of discipline, he who I won't be mentioning, really wasn't a bad catch. Halfway before deciding that he might actually BE a sort of competition, I had also decided that I wanted to make it my mission to help Max AND separate his and Kai's 'closeness'. It was becoming more and more noticeable that they spent way too much time around each other. Time that I couldn't invade or be possessive about. Not that I would anyway. That would be annoying. The last thing I wanted was to be annoying. At least not MORE annoying then somebody (not mentioning any names…) else.

"I know you feel the need to delegate everything but not everything needs to be delegated."

"Heey! What are you guys doing?! Get dooown here!" Tyson bellows up at us. His voice is faint at the distance he has settled into at the bottom of the ropes but with the aid of the wind, it's still quite audible. Even despite all the negative energy surrounding our trio, I can't help but smile again. For a moment I actually feel like we're just friends doing what friends do when they do friend things. I take a step away from the edge and out of the view of Tyson dangling below us and take Kai's hands.

"I wouldn't make you do this if I didn't think you'd enjoy it. Besides, we've saved the world a dozen times, I want to feel what that feels like again. Life is sooo boring." I exaggerate.

"Hn." He pulls me towards him before leading me back with a forceful nudge, holding on to me so that we are really close. The tenseness I had felt before climbs up my throat and makes my body freeze as he tactically moves me back a few steps and I feel the dip of the drop through the back of my shoes. I stumble ungracefully and grip his arm tightly, suddenly needing him for balance, and glare at him a bit horrified as he pulls back enough to show me his smirk while he keeps me from falling the way Tyson had. "Not such a big talker now, huh?" He carefully moves one foot on top of mine and my grip falters enough to know that if he moves any closer or lifts the other foot our center of gravity would shift enough to send us both over regardless of how tightly I held onto him. The anticipation was enough to make me go mad. Fortunately, he doesn't give me the time to think about it too much. "Don't close your eyes or you might miss it," he whispers close to my ear before he lifts his other foot and we tip over the side.

At first I feel nothing, like the drop was in slow motion and wasn't really happening. My eyes had snapped shut even with Kai's warning but after the first second of my breath leaving my lungs and his hold around me seeming to get tighter I open them again and the world blurs past quicker than I could even process it, the only thing in my field of vision that isn't intangible being Kai. By the time the realization of the fall catches up with gravity both of our cords hit their limit and we jolt back up, giving me the opportunity of seeing Kai's jilted reaction. The sudden thrust however, makes me drop my clutch on his arm for a second and I feel him starting to slip out reach from the impact. The distance spreading between us leaves me a different kind of terrified and a realization of just how important it was that he was there holding on to me strikes me cold so I struggle to regain my grip. It was like letting him go was more symbolic than it should have been. But I shake off my paranoid delusions when I realize that he had taken ahold of my hand and was squeezing it in return to comfort me.

It was exciting. I feel all the energy of holding everything back rush out of me and I let myself feel the thrill of it. I almost forget about Tyson until we hit the last few bounces and I finally catch my breath again. Then, we settle at the bottom next to him, a few feet from the water and a few yards away from the boat that is waiting to collect us when we detach.

"It's about time!" Tyson yells. "What were you guys doing, making your last wills?" I look at Kai and laugh, all the nerves and jitters pulsing through my body and out of my toes. I spin as the cord stretches to its limit and I feel Kai release my hand, leaving me with a bit of separation anxiety. It was slightly unnerving that I had become so dependent on him to feel safe. Things like this never would have gripped me with such fear before. It was almost like he had become a part of me and I no longer existed by myself. No one should be that powerful.

"Satisfied?" I throw back at Tyson and he flails at me enthusiastically enough to makes his rope jump again and twist up. I hear the motor of the boat start as it moves to approach us.

"Hardly! What kind of dick move was that, Kai?! I could have died!" he tries to swing himself over towards Kai so he can hit him but he has no control over his movements and just gets more tangled in the ropes.

"Hn," was Kai's only reply. He curls up enough to pull himself upward so he can loosen the clip from the pulley and drop himself down into the boat when it stops below us.

"Somebody help me," Tyson fumbles around some more while I follow Kai's lead and release myself slowly into the boat beside him. We both reach over and try to untangle Tyson before he gets too stuck to be rescued and he flails again as the cord is unclipped and he drops with a thud to the bottom of the boat. The driver steadies the boat and looks at Tyson disapprovingly while we help Tyson get back up. "Thanks!" he exclaims, starting to pull at his harness and vest. "That was so freakin' awesome. I know it was just a dare for you and Kai but everyone else totally should have come too!" he goes on excitedly, explaining all the feelings he felt as he dropped and what it was like bouncing back up. I ignore him and watch Kai and he silently takes off his equipment as well.

"Was it as bad as you wanted to make it seem?" I ask playfully. He keeps any emotion from his face and meets my eyes.

"Don't make any more deals with Tyson," he says bluntly before shifting his eyes down so he can fold up his equipment neatly and place it on the bench. Then he looks back up at me and frowns. "You look almost as tangled as Tyson," he scolds, abandoning his equipment and taking a small shuffling step towards me. He grabs onto the straps from my harness to twist them free before pulling them loose with one short tug. I smile, even if he was pretending that he hated it, I could tell it was just an act for Tyson's sake. The idea that I hadn't thought of something totally appalling was enough to satisfy my needs of mutual control. I was starting to figure him out a little better with each risk I took. And it was making me feel much more secure in our relationship. Tyson wasn't going to ruin anything.

"I love you," I say abruptly, before I even realize words are coming out. His hands stop moving and he looks up at me again a sharpness in his eye that feels dangerous to me. Then the hands move away and he turns his back to me. I hold my breath as the actions meaning clicks inside my head. Sure, Tyson might not be ruining anything, but that didn't stop me from doing it anyway. How could I be so stupid?

Before I have time to take it back or feel any kind of emotional reaction to being rejected, we dock and Tyson yanks Kai off towards the cab we were taking home, yammering on about who he was going to tell at work and how he could use it for some kind of research.

The driver helps me the rest of the way out of my harness and vest and takes all of our equipment from the boat. I thank him and give him a small tip before I follow after my friends slowly.

I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Whether I should just ignore the outburst and pretend like it never happened or if it would save me trouble in the long run if I confronted it instead. It was different than when I had told him I liked him. Then he hadn't believed it or had thought he could change my mind. This was much more serious than confused, misplaced feelings. This was like declaring we had a concrete future. That this was GOING somewhere more than what it was presently. We had both settled into a comfort that being together was okay but we never discussed a long term. Sure he'd asked me to be here but he'd never explained himself or his motives and if Kai's reaction was any indication of what he thought about long term, my prospects weren't looking hopeful.

So maybe it was better I figured this out now.

When we get home, Tyson runs off to make a phone call and Kai goes off to…be Kai. And I...I slump my way to the back of the house and sit down on the back porch. I lose track of time as I brood over ways to get myself out of whatever I had gotten myself in to. I almost don't hear Max when he comes out to join me.

"Hey, why are you out here?" he starts with a smile. I look up at him briefly and they look back at the tree I had been focusing all my energy on. If I stared at it long enough I wonder if I could set it on fire with just shear willpower. He stares at me a moment as if deciding whether to stay before he sits down in a chair next to me. "Why is it that I'm the one battling crazy inner turmoil and you're the one displaying it?" he tries again. This time I crack and give him a half smile.

"Where's Tyson? I thought he'd be talking your ear off all night."

"You're probably right. Except. He's still not talking to me and he passed out from exhaustion like ten minutes ago. Kai left so I thought I'd see if you wanted to go to the market with me."

"Kai left?" I question, the action not being so strange but the timing being nothing but suspicious. Inside, I feel my anxiety rise up. My mind wanted me to believe that he was disappearing again, that I had done something so terrible that he couldn't even face me anymore. But I couldn't let myself get carried away.

"Yeah, I asked him what time he'd be back and he didn't really answer but he wasn't carrying anything with him so he probably just went for a walk. Sometimes I wonder if he misses being able to go home. We kinda bombarded him with company he couldn't refuse…" Max sounds guilty and brushes a hand through his hair as if to hide it.

"I don't think he sees it that way," I try to reassure him, but even I don't believe it. I didn't really believe anything I thought about Kai right now. He nods and relaxes a little, contemplating what to say next but still sensing something from me.

"Are things okay?" A pause. "With Kai?" I can tell he was hesitant with asking but he anticipates my answer regardless. I take a deep breath.

"Yeah everything's fine." I smile and he nods again. We stare at each other for a few more awkward minutes before I stand up. "So how about that market?" I ask and he comes back to life, jumping up after me.

"I'll leave a note for Tyson if he wakes up."

The time away gives me a distraction that's enough for me not to sink into the depression that wants to set in. Max's constant happy-go-lucky attitude makes it impossible for me to feel bad about anything and I become really grateful for that. We get our shopping done and he even helps me make dinner, which we eat together before he says he has some last minute things to do at school and leaves. I leave the leftovers on the table wrapped securely for whenever Tyson wakes up and Kai gets home then retire to Kai's room.

Without even thinking about it, I collapse back into the bed in exhaustion and stare at the ceiling. If I had just listened to Kai from the beginning, none of this would be happening right now.

I take a deep breath and let my energy leave me. All the stress I had built up and placed on myself dissipating through my fingers and toes. I didn't want to think anymore. I didn't want to feel. I just wanted to lay here until nothing mattered and my thoughts no longer plagued me with worry and regret.

And it almost worked.

I was awakened by pressure on the bed next to me and then…

"Gah! You're freezing!" I exclaim, jolting away from the touch as it brushed across my skin. I'm too close to the edge however and I slip off, hitting the floor and fully waking up with a thud.

"You didn't have to get that excited. It's just a little chill." Kai looks down at me apathetically.

"Easy for you to say. I bet your blood is made out of ice," I retort, shivering from the goosebumps that still cover my body. He doesn't respond and waits for me to get back up before changing the subject.

"We should talk," he says slightly detached sounding. The hollowness and apparent tiredness in his voice only pushed me away from starting that conversation so soon. I wanted something good to happen before we dove right into the bad.

"Did you get the dinner we left? Max wanted to try something different so we added a few special ingredients. I personally thought it was pretty good," I smile triumphantly, pleased with our accomplishment. "I bet you a week's worth of cooking that you can't guess what I added." Kai shakes his head and can't help but crack a smile at my antics.

"I didn't know that basil was such a…"

"I love you." I interrupt fiercely. I take on a completely serious face and am vaguely aware of how completely insane I probably sound. There was just something inside of me that couldn't pretend it any anymore. "I know you probably don't want to hear this and I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable or makes you want to run away." I take a short breath in. "But…if Tyson is going to pursue you, I just want you to know where I stand." I look away as he stares at me in silence, void of any response whatsoever. I am unable to take the pressure of his judgement and almost don't want to see his reaction whenever it does decide it wants to make its appearance. I had thought I was being brave and taking charge but one look from those piercing eyes just made me feel stupid all over again. As if I thought saying it a second time would change his reaction. Although he HAD said that he wanted to talk.

His face, however, DOESN'T take on a reaction of being taken back or cornered, it almost looks quizzical and angry at the same time.

"Did Tyson tell you that?" he finally speaks. I look back at him in shock. Out of all the responses I would have deemed appropriate, picking THAT and ignoring the rest of what was said, was not of any level close to acceptable. Why was it that every time I thought I had more of Kai figured out, that he threw a ratchet at me and told me to use it like a wrench?

"You know?" If he had known that Tyson was actively interested then why was he actively acting like it didn't matter? He was almost humoring him by letting him get away with things.

"I asked first," he presses, as if knowing who told me was more important than telling me that I didn't have to worry or that it didn't bother him.

"I asked second. Should I be writing this down in order?" I cross my arms defensively, the pokes at my pride finally sinking in. He shrugs. "Does it matter? Does any of THAT matter? Did you even hear what I said? I'm telling you that I love you," I repeat, halfway hoping that the third time really was the charm. I was opening myself up and he was…pushing me back in? If anyone knew how they felt about anything, it was Kai. So why was he choosing now not to pay attention?

"I heard you." Flat. No personal contribution at all.

"Okay." I drops my arms, not knowing what else to do or say, if anything. I cover up the hurt I feel from his lack of consideration and walk over to the dresser. "I'm going to take a shower," I announce and he nods, wordlessly pulling the sheets down and starting to strip. I start to feel like maybe the problem is not his detachment but maybe it's my attachment to the meaning. If he was more interested in why I said what I said, maybe it would help him know how or whether he needed to answer. Who knew how his mind really processed things? Maybe I was just missing something else. I couldn't stop myself from being an adversary though. "And just so you know, nobody TOLD me. I figured it out on my own, but I guess you didn't think I was smart enough for that." I close the drawer after grabbing a pair of pajamas and stand up. "And would it kill you to use the damn hamper at least once? It's literally 3 feet away." I huff, making a mad gesture towards the hamper as incentive, and slamming the bathroom door closed behind me.

I knew I was being childish. I knew he didn't deserve it, but being bitter felt a whole lot better than feeling vulnerable and exposed. I hadn't expected a heartfelt, love-dovey confession in return, but anything was better than nothing at all. I should have just left things the way they were. Everything had been great. WE had been great. The things we shared and the time we spent together was amazing. What was I even thinking when I decided to talk that way? What was I even thinking now? Picking a fight when I could have just apologized and told him it was fine if he didn't have an answer right away? This wasn't like me…

I turn the shower on but remain outside and dressed. I slide down the wall and bury my face in my arms across my knees, attempting to curl up into a really tiny ball. I don't know how long I stayed like that but when I finally stepped in to the shower I felt numb. I had pushed all my negative thoughts away and settled in to a quiet, dark place where even my own thoughts couldn't touch me. Some place where I couldn't overthink or berate myself anymore. I had convinced myself that we would wake up tomorrow and things would go back to the way they were. I would ignore my feelings, he would act like nothing happened, and everything would be A-Okay.

When I touch the door knob to re-enter the bedroom, I stop, just for a moment, before taking a deep breath in and opening the door.

Kai was still there but appears to be sleeping peacefully. I had half expected him to leave. It would have been a normal Kai behavior to do so; at least it would have been two years ago.

I take note that his clothes are not in a pile on the floor like they usually are, but are in fact sloppily thrown all over the hamper. I am too withdrawn from my feelings to appreciate the gesture though, tossing my own clothes on top of his and walking over to the bed. I sigh before slipping into the bed as quietly and carefully as I possibly can. He doesn't stir or even open his eyes to alert me of his condition and I frown. His back is to me and his hair is tied up loosely with a string, something he did ever so often when he waited to shower until morning.

I snuggle in beside him but leave a large amount of space between us. I pause, trailing a finger delicately down his back. He shivers slightly at the touch but otherwise doesn't move.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, barely audible to even myself. I turn away, pulling the sheets up over us and settling in to sleep.

When I wake up and Kai is gone. The disappointment that this information causes me is quickly overshadowed however.

"Ray! Wake up! It's an emergency!" Tyson. I groan.

"What?" I growl loudly before covering my face with my pillow.

"Max didn't come home last night." His voice lowers and adopts a hint of sadness but I still hear him clearly through the door. "And he won't answer his phone!" he yells in frustration, his voice gaining back some of its enthusiasm.

I remove the pillow and turn towards the door. While it did seem unusual, it didn't strike me as an 'emergency' without more information. I force myself out of bed and approach the door, opening it to find Tyson standing in the hallway. Worry drips off of him in waves and even the twinge of annoyance at seeing him isn't enough to block my concern.

"I'm sure he's fine. He probably just stayed in his dorm. He still has a dorm, right?" I do my best to talk him down from panicking.

"Yeah…" he says, showing his uncertainty. He scratches his head in thought.

"Maybe he just got caught up at school and missed the last bus. No need to freak out so soon." I continue to calm him. He relaxes.

"You're probably right." He laughs, undoubtedly realizing how hysterical and silly he had sounded.

"If I don't see him at school, I'll look for him okay?" His face lights up and he takes my hand gratefully shaking it as if we had just made a deal of some sort. But then his face drops a little as he lets go.

"Okay but…" His face twists like he has something to say but can't quite say it.

"But..?" I push, leaning in the doorway. Tyson blushes and at first I am not sure whether it's because of my movement or because of his own thoughts.

"I haven't exactly been nice to him… What if he doesn't want to come back? What if I hurt his feelings so bad he can't forgive me? What if he doesn't want to be friends anymore? What if…" I place a hand on his shoulder and he stops gushing, choking on his next words and closing his mouth.

"Shh…" I quiet his nerves. "Listen to yourself, Tyson. This is MAX you're talking about. You're his best friend. That would never happen." I smile reassuringly and he nods.

"Thanks…sorry if I woke you. I heard Kai leave and thought you were already awake." He looks down self-consciously and I drop my hand from his shoulder, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"It's okay…" I murmur politely before standing up straight and turning away a bit.

"I gotta go now. I'm totally late." He seems to sense the shift in my mood and relieves me from having to explain myself. "I'm really surprised that you guys are so messy. The rest of the house looks so clean." He sends me his usually smile before rushing off. My face drops. What?

I turn around and realize that I hadn't noticed the condition of the room on my rush to the door. Not only was the underwear that Kai wore to sleep laying on the floor but so is just about everything from the dresser and the closet. It looked like a hurricane had whipped through and left only clothes as evidence. Ironically, the hamper was untouched so all of the clothes laying around were clean. If I had to wager I would say that Kai went through his clothes to find something to wear and just threw everything he didn't find suitable. However, I knew Kai better than that and knew it was meant to spite me.

He was taking my slight at him a little too personally… But maybe this was a good thing.


	12. Chapter 11

A/N: Haha I actually confused you on purpose and you'll see why soon. Hopefully I can get it out in the right way so it's cleared up. But! At least you didn't throw anything at me. :D Although I suppose there's still time for that… Also, parts of this chapter are a bit different than I am used to writing so sorry if it seems off. I had to get a lot of information out. Thanks so much for the reviews!

Chapter 11: What Goes Around

I wasn't sure which problem to attend to first, however I considered that Max was a big boy and could take care of himself. That and he was Max. How much trouble could he possibly get in to? He'd left me with no reason to believe he was in danger or held up somewhere that he needed help so I decided to go straight for the heart of matters and leave him for later.

I had been going over things all morning as I got ready and had discovered one thing, I was a genius. I had thought it was the end of the world, of Kai, of me, of Kai and me, but it was just the beginning. Kai was angry. Kai was REALLY angry. And I know what you're thinking… You're thinking that's a terrible thing. Kai being angry meant vengeance. Kai being angry meant fire and spite and passive aggressive brimstone. But Kai being angry also meant something else. It meant that he cared. He cared enough to be angry, so he cared enough to give it thought. Which, in his own way, was letting me know something about him that he wouldn't say out loud.

I was brimming so much with overconfidence at my deductions of Kai's behavior and what it means that I almost forget how much of an idiot I had been the day before.

That is until I am standing in front of his office door like a lost puppy.

The secretary gives me the same critical look she had the day before, only this time it was accompanied by a look of intangible inquiry.

"He's not busy," she states as if it would get me to move. "You can go in." I nod but take another few minutes to gather my courage. Having a witness to my internal dilemma helped me make my decision faster than it probably would have otherwise, and I hold my breath as I open the door.

Kai is seated at his desk with his head propped up on his arm in boredom, a pen tangled between his fingers, looking over something on his computer. He glances up casually, with a slight hint of annoyance, to see who it is and starts to turn back to his work but stops to do a double take, as if not expecting me at all. He stares at me a moment, gaze hard, dropping his arm and sitting up straighter, before tipping his head back to usher me in. I oblige, taking a step inside and closing the door, but decide to remain close to the door, clinging to the doorknob behind my back as if it will comfort me by allowing me a quick escape.

I freeze there, unable to make the first move myself. All I wanted was to look him straight in the eye and ask him what we've been doing all this time together if it wasn't meant to go somewhere, but none of the words I wanted found their way out. I wanted him to admit that he wasn't heartless like he portrayed, that he DID allow himself to feel things and that I didn't understand why he couldn't just say it but instead I stare at the floor, wondering how I made it this far on pure adrenaline. Where was that adrenaline now?

It probably left with the glare he set on me.

It was clear that he was bothered. My presence was unexpected but it wasn't just the surprise. He was holding back other emotions. Much stronger ones. Ones that indicated one wrong move might just end up with me leaving in pieces, and not the physical kind. I didn't realize that one little slight would make his so upset. It wasn't like I told him he sucked at his job or his shoes made him look stupid. It was just a pile of laundry. Was it really that important to him?

He stands up and I tense, expecting some sort of consequence for my presence. His demeanor indicated that he wanted space but he wasn't throwing me out and he made no move to do so either. Maybe I was getting mixed signals?

"I…uh…came to apologize." I utter briskly, hoping it will halt any negative assault he had prepared for me. He leans forward and presses a button on his phone. A beep follows then the low sound of static.

"Hold my calls and don't let anyone else in. Especially Tyson," he demands, then hits the button again and it goes silent. He places the pen he had been holding, down on the desk and averts his eyes, contemplating how to proceed.

"I know you probably don't want to talk about this now but I couldn't let it wait. I needed you to know that I didn't mean to offend you or pressure you or whatever I did…" He moves around the desk and stands in front of it, halting my train of thought and my babble as he fixes another cold glare on me.

"How do you expect me to say something that involves trust when I know you're hiding things from me?" he replies crossly. "Besides that…"

"You don't have to explain yourself here." I save him the trouble of going on. If I could get us past the initial awkwardness I knew everything would work out. I just had to get him to stop being mad. He watches me as I push away from the door casually, leaving the security of it behind me.

"Besides that," he starts again. "How could you say it and mean it when it's only meant to negate something that isn't even happening? It's obvious that YOU don't trust ME. That whole conversation was meaningless. And then…" He shakes his head, probably picturing the scene in his head to bring back just how pathetic he saw it as. "It's impossible to speak to you when you're angry. You don't listen and then you say things that aren't you. Did you really want me to be honest at a time when it would only get ignored?" I look down and shuffle my feet uncomfortably.

"You don't do anything without thinking about it first, do you?" I look back up at him and take a giant step forward, breaking into his bubble of personal space. "Sometimes it feels good to just let yourself say what you want without thinking about it." I half smile in a trying attempt to make him change his mind.

"Because I see how well that works for you." He eyes me skeptically and I roll my eyes to the side. He was a tough one to crack, that's for sure.

"In all fairness, you didn't exactly respond in a dignified way. Sure you held your tongue but seriously? Sometimes you act like a spoiled child." I should have ended it there but I can't stop myself. "Like you're gonna cry if you don't get what you want." I bite my lip. Hearing the words come from my mouth doesn't make me feel better. I feel myself cringe at the thought of how they must have sounded. How wrong it was of me to even suggest things so…mean.

"Maybe I will." He replies and I shift my eyes back to him sharply. This was another mind game… He was baiting me to dig myself a deeper hole. Maybe he was seeing how far I would go or if he could get me to the point where I was blurting things out again just to get to the bottom of everything he thought I was 'hiding' from him. But I don't let myself go there this time. I wanted to put this behind us right now, and move on.

"I highly doubt that…" He catches my gaze and settles on it, before taking a slight step away to lean back on the desk behind him, crossing his arms.

"Look. I know I don't exactly shout my feelings from the rooftops but I thought that you at least understood that I have them." Okay, so that was halfway to my goal, but wasn't quite enough for me. Time for a little pushing over the edge.

"What? Kai Hiwatari has feelings?" I mock surprise. "I never would have guessed." I lean forward, placing one hand on the desk next to him, tauntingly close to his hip. "So, MR. Hiwatari, do tell me about these…'feelings'." His lip quirks as he fights off amusement but he doesn't make a move or show any hint of being uncomfortable. If I had been in his position I would have folded like a paper bag already, but he's a pillar of inner strength. My tactics were not new to him and he'd gotten better at defending himself.

"You're not getting out of this one," he relents. "Something is making you think crazy thoughts and clearly my comfort isn't enough to appease you. So. Either you tell me what's been going on or you start sleeping in your own room." AND he was using them against me. This was trouble.

"You can't be serious." I step back again. He raises an eyebrow as if to show just how serious he is and I growl. "It's not even that important."

"So you admit that there IS…something?" I narrow my eyes at him.

"You don't have to act ignorant, Kai. You already knew there was something or you wouldn't have started this…whatever this is." I cross my arms and disregard him. He responds by straightening and taking ahold of my elbows, but for once I decide not to take the bait. Whether it was his overbearing pride or the way he thought he could always get what he wanted, I didn't know. But suddenly I had the thought that I could make him go back on his own choice. And I wanted him to. If only to prove to myself that he was in this as deep as I was. That everything I felt, he felt too. And that even if he wouldn't say it, it was true. He loved me and I WOULD get him to say it. "Fine." I meet his eyes defiantly and pull out of his grasp. "If that's how you want it." I press myself forward, putting both my hands on the desk behind him and boxing him in a tight, very close space in front of me. I nuzzle his face and tease the skin next to his ear and a part of me thinks it's working when the space suddenly feels too large and he shifts a little making it smaller. "I'll make sure to move my stuff out before you get home," I whisper seductively, before pulling away and leaving his office. I don't even look at him when I fumble with closing the door behind my exit.

I knew I could have just told him. About Tyson, about Max, about everything going on around him that he either ignored or didn't care about. But I liked this better somehow. I liked having something he wanted but couldn't get. Not that he couldn't figure it out on his own if he wanted to, but he wanted it from me. And it wasn't until I was well far away from that office and that smug smirk of his that I realized just how much stupider I had gotten than I had been the day before. I was starting some sick war and I wasn't even sure what I was winning, except ending up alone at the end.

When they tell you that love makes you do some crazy things, they don't incorporate all the ridiculous manipulation tactics that come without thinking. What was I even doing? Kai wasn't going to play nice now. Not after that. A part of it was thrilling, it sparked some life into me that I hadn't felt in a while. But then there was the rational part that wondered if I had just ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me, and for what? So I could say that I had the upper hand? With Kai there was no upper hand. I was too far into it to back out now though. If I groveled for forgiveness and told him I was being stupid, he'd never let me live it down. So I had to go with the flow and follow through.

Maybe this was a good way to gather my own identity back. For the past few months it had been "me and Kai". Even when he wasn't right there, every decision I made involved him somehow. And I never thought that was a bad thing. It wasn't. But somewhere in "us" I needed a "me". And I'll be damned if I let it be this blasted college. It was probably why I even let Tyson weedle his way in between us so easily. It was because I thought Tyson had something I didn't. Something that I couldn't offer and was somehow better. But was that true? I was doing all of this to better myself wasn't I? I could have chosen what Tyson did. I could have taken a job there without trying to find something else. But instead I chose to discover something new. This.

I look up at the college and groan. I'd be happy next week when I didn't have to see it for a month. I'd be happy today if I didn't have to see it at all. All my papers were done and handed in but I had 1 last torture session of a midterm to do before I could finally rest.

First things first though, I had to find Max. Now was a good time as any for the distraction.

I look for him in all the normal places and when I don't find him I feel sadly nostalgic about it. Right before I start to feel panicked that something HAD actually happened to him. We had been fine yesterday and there was no real reason for him to want to stay away, even if chances were he had probably just missed the bus home and had to stay on campus. Knowing Max, he probably would have called though.

Somewhere in my searching, my panic turned into pure worry and when I DO find him and he looks absolutely fine and relatively untouched, I actually feel a little betrayed. However, before jumping in at him angry I take in his appearance and second guess whether he really was okay after all.

Physically he looked fine, but his face held all kinds of emotions and sadness that I didn't know whether to ask or leave him alone. But! I made a promise to Tyson so I had to do my best at keeping it.

"Hey, Max." I approach him and greet him with a friendly smile. He looks up, returns the smile with a short one of his own, then looks down to avoid keeping eye contact.

"Hey, Ray," he returns. I don't miss the reservation in his voice, or the hint of melancholy.

"Everything…okay?" I venture, trying to keep things simple before jumping to more drastic conclusions.

"Yeah, just thinking about what to eat for lunch…" he replies in a musing sort of way. Distant but not completely unaware of the rest of the world. I send him a look of disbelief but he doesn't notice so I take it a step further.

"Is that all? Well, we can go find something in the cafeteria." I point in the direction of the student dining for added effect.

"Yeah." He answers again just as absently. I think that he's not really committed to his decision but then he stands up suddenly and I take a step back in surprise. "Let's go!" he smiles and takes off. I'm still partially confused but follow him anyway. Maybe having lunch together would get him to open up a bit more.

We don't really talk as we approach the lunch line and start picking out things to eat but then he stops in front of the lady serving rice and stands a minute. "Do you think this is all there is?" I look up at him in bewilderment.

"What's that?" I ask concerned. He sighs.

"I try so hard to hide my real feelings that I'm not sure that I really know how I feel anymore." He frowns. I look from him to the lady who is watching us impatiently.

"It's just rice. I don't think it matters which one you take. They're all pretty much the same." I offer my help. He smiles and turns to return my look.

"That's not what I mean." He shoves me.

"Are you really trying to have a life changing realization in the lunch line?" I look at him skeptically and he shoves me again, taking a plate a moving down the line to pay.

"Come on," he insists, half whining, when I grab my own and follow again.

"Okay, but just tell me something first." He nods in agreement. "Is this about whatever happened with Tyson or something else? Is it why you didn't come home last night? What exactly happened between you two?"

"Eh, it's more than that." He clams up a bit and looks away and for a moment I think he's going to avoid the subject again. He runs his free hand through his hair and looks down at the floor for a second, then looks back up at me. "I should have called last night but I didn't think he would answer with the way he's been acting. He's never ignored me for this long before." He shrugs. "I didn't tell him if that's what you're wondering. He doesn't know about my…struggle." He gulps, as if admitting he has feelings was some sort of infidelity on its own. "I wanted to. I started to. I almost did. Then, he…" He takes a breath and sits down at a table then waits for me to sit down too. "He started talking about you and Kai and how unnatural he thought it was and I couldn't. I didn't want him to look at me differently. I'm from a different country. Things like boys and boys and girls and girls don't really matter as much. It's just a cultural…thing. One that I think creates a lot more problems than it does solutions." He adds with conviction. Then he lowers his voice again. "I tried to get him to accept the situation first. With you and Kai. People don't choose who they like sometimes and things…happen. I just wanted him to understand that it wasn't wrong. And it worked!" He gets excited for a moment, like he'd made some kind of breakthrough. "Sorta." He shrugs and the excitement vanishes. "But then he started talking about Kai controlling everyone's feelings and we got into a fight…" he huffs dropping off any detailed explanation and letting it go.

"He likes Kai, right?" I ask, partly hoping he knew, partly hoping he didn't. Somehow trying to lay it down in concrete made it feel different. Like my paranoia wasn't just paranoia. "I mean, of course he does… They've always had that weird connection…" I let my mind wander a bit, distracted by my own insecurities to even notice that I was walking myself away from the real issue here. He wasn't this upset because of Tyson, I was picking up something else from his body language that wasn't just about a simple unrequited crush. "Something else is bothering you…" I say absently before he can even respond to my question. He looks up at me and nods.

"It's this." He indicates the room around us and I follow his motion with my eyes, scanning around the room. "All this. Tyson wasn't the only one that applied for that job." I catch the last past and turn back to him sharply.

"You applied too?" He nods again. "And they didn't hire you?" He looks down and I frown. "That's impossible. Did they tell you why? You're a way better choice than Tyson is. At least you've HAD a job before. You know schematics and how to build. You have creativity and durability. You don't fight! And you have the most patience of anyone I know. He's so much more likely to make them crazy than to get any real work done!" The more I talk the more far away he seems to get and my frown grows deeper. "Max…" He looks up at me again with a half-hearted smile.

"I thought you of anyone would understand what it feels like. We both work just as hard as they do and they're the only ones anyone sees. We shouldn't have to prove ourselves more than they do."

"Is this what you guys were fighting about? And why you joined the election here?" He makes a motion with his hand that tells me I'm half right.

"I joined the election because it was something that I wasn't competing with Tyson for. Something I felt I might actually win. I had control and he couldn't take it from me. Even when he offered to help with the posters, I knew it was something I could use to prove to myself that I was more than just HIS sidekick. YOU were the one that helped me the most and I was happy for once that it WASN'T HIM. But it didn't make me feel any better…" He starts to pick at the food items on his tray.

"What was the fight about? Did you tell him all that?" He shakes his head emphatically.

"No, we fought about Kai. When I went to tell him about everything, he overpowered me with all his babble about you and Kai. And then he cracked out that stupid plan."

"The intervention?" I laugh at the thought and how terrible that had gone for him. I wondered how long it had taken him to think all that through and how much convincing it took to get Kenny to agree. It was hard to picture Kenny feeling anything but frustrated when Tyson was involved.

I get so caught up with my musing that I almost miss what Max breaks in with next.

"No, you don't understand," he starts sternly. "He's just using Kai. That's what we fought about. I told him he was being stupid. Well, he's still being stupid, but…"

"Using Kai?" I interrupt, confused enough not to even know where this was going anymore.

"Yeah. To show you that he's not serious about you. To 'free' you." I stare at him blankly, letting his words sink in.

"Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. He's not hanging all over Kai because he likes him but because he wants ME to see that Kai isn't serious? So what? He wants KAI to like HIM to prove that he doesn't really like ME?" Max nods. "That's…the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

"Well…it IS Tyson," he relents.

"I suppose…" I take another minute to process. "So. If he DOESN'T like Kai, than who does he like?" Max clams up again and a slight blush crosses over the bridge of his nose as he looks away shyly.

"Well... I'm not EXACTLY sure…" He turns his head to the side as if looking for something to distract himself with.

"Are you kidding me?" I laugh. "Then how do you know it's NOT you? Or that it's even anyone? Did he even TELL you he liked somebody at all?"

"Well no, not specifically. He hinted. He said something that made me think he did but he didn't say anything else about it. I assumed it was you since he's been so obsessed lately. You're all he talks about. Ray this. Ray that. Ray, Ray, Ray…" He rolls his eyes and I can't help but smile at his antics, even if he is talking bad about me. "I started to get jealous. That's when I started questioning my feelings. I started to think something was wrong with me because I wanted him to be that obsessed about me. Maybe there IS something wrong with me. It's crazy right?"

"No, no. It's not crazy at all." I pause to take apart the pieces he's given me and put them back together in a way that they makes sense. There was so much of all this that I wasn't understanding or comprehending. And there was so much more that I still needed to figure out. I had to get what I needed from the source and not all this secondhand nonsense. I had to talk to Tyson. Like a REAL talk. And not one that I just started and then let drop off because Tyson is hard to talk to normally.

"You're ringing," Max breaks into my thoughts, taking a bite of food and nodding towards me.

"That's impossible, I don't have a…" I stop when I start to search for the source of the ringing and find a phone tucked into my pocket. How did that even get in there? I look at it confused as it continues to make noise and vibrate excitedly.

"Are you going to answer it?" Max laughs, obviously enjoying my confusion.

"I don't…" He reaches over and takes the phone from me.

"Hello?" he answers it with a click of a button and presses it to his ear. He smiles and passes it back towards me. "It's Kai." I shake my head and put my hands up defensively.

"Not now," I say. Max studies me, then looks from the phone to me and back again before replacing it on his ear.

"He's…busy. Can I take a message?" A pause. "Uh-huh, sure. No worries, I'll let him know." Another pause. "Oooh, um, no. That's okay. I'll see him later. Thanks, Bye." He clicks it off and sets it down on the table casually. "Before I tell you what he said, do you mind if I ask what's going on with you two?" I shrug and pick at my food absently. "Raaaay, come on. I just spilled my guts. The least you can do is make me feel like it's mutual." He sends me a goofy grin and I can't resist it.

"You're incorrigible, you know that?" He does a small victory pose.

"Soooo?" he pushes. I roll my eyes before delving into a non-detailed explanation of the mess this morning and why I felt like I was digging my own grave.

"And the message?" I ask before his mind can be taken over by his stupefied look.

"He just wanted to make sure I was okay because Tyson wouldn't stop bothering him. He also said not to let you lose his phone." He waves it all off. "And hey! If you need some help I have another sweater you can borrow." He winks and giggles and I suddenly feel better about my choice. It was nice to have a friend in it anyway.

"When did he…nevermind. Figuring out Kai is like trying to open a puzzle box. Gimme your phone," I hold out my hand. He looks at me a bit concerned before handing it over.

"Who are you calling?" he asks curiously as I dial Tyson's number and hit 'call'. Tyson answers after one ring.

"Max? Is that you?" he gushes excitedly.

"It's just me, Tys. One sec." I hold the phone back out to Max but he doesn't take it back right away. I wave it towards him to urge him forward. "Come on. You guys need to talk." He takes the phone from me slowly but doesn't lift it just yet.

"What am I supposed to say?" he asked with a look so innocent it made me want to hug him.

"The truth. He needs to know how you feel even if he doesn't feel the same way. It still matters." I push back from the table and stand up.

"Wait, where are you going?" Max panics, unsure of what to do next.

"Just talk to him. I'll be right over there." I indicate a wall across the room. "When you're done we can go pick Tyson and Kenny up and do something fun." He hesitates but nods and puts the phone to his ear. I smile. If this can work out, so can everything else.


	13. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I haven't had one in a while so um…I do not own Beyblade? …yay!

Chapter 12: Feels Like Forever

Was that sound always there?

I roll over.

What even is it?

I roll over again.

It can't be the refrigerator, that's on the other side. Maybe the shower?

I roll back to the other side.

I don't think anyone is showering at midnight… And it kind of rattles. If the shower is rattling we should probably call a repair person.

I roll onto my back, spread out and stare at the ceiling.

What the hell am I doing?

Maybe some warm milk will help.

I roll off the bed and jump over the pile of clothes I had retrieved from Kai's dresser to open the door. Meeting me on the other side is Max, hand raised in mid knock. He blushes, a little embarrassed, as he lowers his hand before smiling and holding up a bowl of popcorn.

"Wanna watch a movie?" he asks sheepishly.

"How did you..?" He looks away and his free hand instantly moves to tuck his hair behind his ear.

"I just figured you wouldn't be able to sleep… And we don't have classes for awhile… So I thought we could have a sleepover…sorta?" He relaxes and shrugs. "I guess it isn't much of a sleepover since we live here. Heh." I smile and take the bowl from him.

"It sounds like a great idea," I reassure him. He brightens and we take off down the hallway.

"Awesome! I thought I might have been being pretentious." I shake my head and settle into the couch as he goes over to the DVD player and starts pushing buttons.

"I think the word you're looking for is precocious, but to be honest I appreciate the interruption," I respond with a slight frown. He nods and comes over to sit down next to me.

"I picked something scary, I hope you don't mind," he asks as he takes the bowl back to settle it between us.

"Are you kidding me? It would be a much better excuse of why I can't sleep if anyone asks," I joke. He laughs and grabs a big handful of popcorn.

"I'm sure it won't last long. I see the way he looks at you." He sends me a mischievous smirk before shoving the handful into his mouth and I look at him in disbelief. I wanted to be mad at him but it was good to see him back to his old self.

After I had forced him to resolve things with Tyson, everyone seemed a bit more spirited. We had gathered Kenny and Tyson just as we'd planned and had a lovely evening shopping for holiday decorations. Kai had called once but I had ignored it. Tyson, not wanting to show how pleased that made him, had called him back to yell at him for being anti-social and not wanting to join us. I'm not quite sure how Kai had responded but Tyson had looked bristled and annoyed for a good ten minutes before brushing it aside and dragging Kenny off to get lost. I had let Max know I was happy for him and he'd kindly offered me some mistletoe as a consolation prize. After telling him he was immature, I gladly accepted it as a last resort option if I couldn't figure this out on my own. As hard as it was, I was ignoring Kai on purpose because I wanted him to feel the loss. I didn't want to be the one always running back to him. That, and I didn't really want to face him just yet. I felt pathetic in a way. One, for letting myself get so carried away. And two, because even if I had signs that it was working, he still seemed to have all the control in the world. And he never showed signs of wavering even just a little bit.

I was running out of ideas too. So far all I had come up with was to be as attractive as I possibly could but never let myself get within touching distance. It was strange but it was actually proving more difficult for me than it was for him.

After we finished our shopping, we gathered some things at the grocery to cook and had settled in to a nice dinner with the five of us. Kai did his best to ignore all of us but between Max's teasing him (and me), Tyson's smothering, and my subtle but expressive looks, he'd eventually given in and left the table to retire. We hadn't seen him for the rest of the night and Tyson had shown Kenny out before settling in to sleep himself.

Which led us to where we were now.

I spent the next two hours tossing and turning uncomfortably and wondering why it felt different sleeping alone when it was by choice. I had gotten up three times with conviction to just go talk to Kai and get the whole thing over with, but that had turned into pacing and talking to myself until I didn't feel like it anymore. I needed to be sure of what I wanted to say and it couldn't just be an apology. Not if I wanted to come out of this with any pride at all.

"Do you think that when you get exorcized you forget everything you did while you were possessed?" Max asks curiously. I think about it a minute, not looking away from the TV.

"I get the impression that it's more likely you would die from the exorcism if you were really that possessed," I offer as a response. He takes on a quizzical look.

"Hmmm, possibly. But they always seem to live in the end," he concludes, still questioning the whole scenario. "I can't imagine living a normal life after all that." He shrugs it off and takes another big handful of popcorn. I think about it a minute and then turn to him.

"How much different is it than what we've been through?" He tilts his head to the side to consider it.

"I don't think it's the same. WE never broke every bone in our bodies or levitated furniture." He sends me a goofy grin as if the whole thing is just so ridiculous to even think of.

"Hmn," I answer in agreement. "Sure but…I almost did." I smile back as if winning the argument and he shakes his head.

"Not like THAT," he stresses, indicating the TV with a giggle before throwing the popcorn at me. "Don't over-dramatize, Ray. These are impressionable CHILDREN who will grow up to be crazy."

"So were we!" I shoot back, returning the popcorn as well.

"Well SOR-ry. But I don't see it. You haven't tried to kill your family or hidden in the corner crying like a baby at the slightest bit of unexpected noise!" This starts a whole popcorn war that doesn't stop until the whole bowl is empty and popcorn is scattered all over the floor and couch. We sit back, tired and laughing, and he shakes his head again. He takes in a deep breath before turning towards me with a serious look. "Hey, can you promise me something?" he asks quietly.

"What is it?" I look at him curiously and he sits up straighter.

"We've all been through a lot together to have it just end up like this." Not hearing a question in there, I wait for him to continue. "I know it's none of my business… And I know it's complicated right now… But… Can you be the one to take initiative?" He sighs and sinks back into the couch in a huff. "One of us has to," he mumbles as what sounds like an afterthought.

"What does…"

"What are you guys doing?" Tyson interrupts my inquiry. Max instantly shoots up to standing and puts on his usual exuberant front. One day I might figure out where he keeps all that extra energy stored.

"We were just watching a movie. Wanna join?" he offers enthusiastically, then second guesses his decision and gives me a worried look asking if I'm okay with that. I turn towards Tyson and nod.

"This one is almost over but we can start another," I offer him a smile to make the gesture easier to accept. He stands a minute as if trying to figure out where he is and scratches his head. I hesitate, unsure if he's still waking up or if he's really thinking about whether a movie is as exciting as what he thought we COULD have been doing instead. His expression remains unreadable so I do what I normally do when I can't decide what the correct action is. I keep talking. "Or we can do something else?" I suggest just to get him to react in some way.

"We could play a game?" Max joins in, looking back at Tyson expectantly and saving me from continuing with a bunch of other random suggestions that were rising on my tongue. Tyson looks from me to Max and takes a tiny shuffling step forward. He scratches his chin.

"Can I ask a question first?" I frown a little unsure and nod. I assume he wants to ask where Kai is or why Max and I are having a sleepover with just the two of us, expecting him to wonder why he wasn't invited too. Not wanting to go into explanations of WHY we were there or what the reasoning had been, I am relieved when he simply asks, "What time is it?" instead. I sigh and the stiffness of the room seems to fade away. Max wades through the mess we made to make his way over to him.

"You raise a very good question my friend and let me just tell you how much it's appreciated…" Max snakes an arm over Tyson's shoulders to hold him in place as he uses the other to twist a thumb under his rib in a playful manner. Tyson protests and pushes him away, fully waking up grabbing a pillow from the couch to hit him back just as playfully.

"Okay, okay, I get it. Let's get this party started!" he throws his hands up, dropping the pillow, and rushes over, flopping down on the couch next to me. "What are we watching?"

"Some old scary movies I had laying around," Max explains as he goes to the DVD player to switch out the disk, before he plops down next to Tyson and hits play again. I watch them a moment as they ignore the movie (and me) and go about their childish banter the way they usually do. I can't help but feel proud again. Just yesterday they were fighting like cats and dogs and now they're back to their old selves. Max has managed to act natural again, not displaying the nervousness he had been earlier and Tyson didn't show one ounce of still being angry. I hadn't expected anything else from them but things always seemed better when they were getting along. Now if I could just get everyone else to get along too.

"So were you guys planning to stay up all night? No school tomorrow?" Tyson directs his question to both of us, bringing me back in to the loop. I groan.

"Can we not talk about school? This is fun time." He obliges and I get no more talk about school or anything else draining or serious but it is anything but quiet. Tyson starts telling us stories. Old stories. The ones about the things we used to do. And then Max starts telling stories. Then, what had started as a quiet, relaxing movie night with a friend to help get through a rough situation I haphazardly started, turned in to a loud messy shouting match about who was better than who at what. Tyson seemed to think he was superior on all counts. Max wouldn't let that settle and protested that he was better at certain things. The only thing I managed to convince them that I was better at was my cooking. However, Max still insisted that adding condiments to everything made it the best.

"It adds flavor!" he declares emphatically. I scoff.

"Are you saying I don't provide enough flavor?" I mock offense. He backtracks immediately.

"Not at all! I just mean, it gives MORE flavor. You can never have too much of that!"

"I disagree!" Tyson jumps in. "I've never needed to add anything to mine."

"I'm surprised you even taste yours at the rate you shove it in your mouth," Max returns, covering up a laugh.

"You're both ridiculous." I brush them off.

"I suppose that's just because you're so MATURE now huh? We're not immature just because we like to have fun still." Tyson throws a pillow in my direction but I dodge by jumping over the arm of the couch and backing away, laughing. Unfortunately, I back right into a very livid Kai, who just happened to enter the room at that moment. Fancy that, my rotten luck. And so much for avoiding contact. Just the unexpected bump jolted electric shocks right through me. When I jump away I shake them off casually, hoping nobody else noticed the goosebumps.

I turn and his rigid posture and cold glare is enough to make me go stiff and recoil further in the other direction, which lands me right up next to Tyson who has jumped up at Kai's appearance.

"Kai!" he greets him eagerly. Suddenly I feel trapped, being wedged between them, and all that's left is feeling awkward as they exchange words like I'm not there.

"It's 2am. What are you guys doing?" Kai replies icily. "Some of us have to work in a few hours." His glare remains on Tyson and Tyson takes a small step back, lessening the tension between me and him but not enough to make me any more comfortable.

"Stop talking like my dad. I just came out here myself. I WAS sleeping," Tyson shifts an annoyed look from me to Max before sitting back down in a huff and crossing his arms. "But this is more fun." His mood changes and he smiles happily. Kai glare moves to me and I feel like a deer caught in headlights. I want to move but my body doesn't want to react at my pleading.

"That doesn't explain what you are doing," he says, almost demanding the answer out of me. I swallow, my mouth feeling dry and crack a guilty smile.

"We were watching a movie," Max chimes in, saving me the pressure of bumbling my way through an explanation. He really is the best at knowing when I need the support. Just the gesture gives me a bit of my confidence back and I smile for real.

"Sorry we disturbed his highness." I bow slightly. "We will try to keep it down." Kai sighs visibly and looks away. For a moment I think about taking back the jibe. After hearing it out loud, it hadn't been the best response to the situation if I really wanted to amend things. I had half hoped he would respond the way he usually does when I say similar things but he clearly wasn't in the mood to joke with me right now. It is possible it was the presence of our friends that deterred him, but I had a feeling it was the situation in general. Maybe he was disappointed that his usual tactics to gain my compliance were ineffective. Maybe he thought I wasn't taking him seriously enough. I didn't want him to think that, but I didn't want to take it back either.

"You do that." He leaves, clearly not wanting to fight about it. Tyson jumps up again and rushes to the doorway.

"Why don't you just join us?" he calls down the hall. Kai's door closes. "Or not." Tyson lets out a defeated growl. "Ingrate."

"Maybe it's better that way," Max muses, exchanging a sad look with me. I frown. This wasn't what I wanted. None of it was. And Max was right about one thing, if I didn't take a step forward, nobody would. But it had to BE a step forward and NOT a step back.

I sit down on the arm of the couch.

"He's so moody. How do you put up with that?" Tyson grumbles, clearly still annoyed. I'm almost surprised that he is addressing our relationship openly and not his usual way of pretending it wasn't really happening.

"He isn't really. You just don't pay attention enough to notice," I defend him. Tyson scoffs.

"As if he would let anyone." The grumbles continue. I start to feel a twinge of anger rising inside me. I know Max had said that Tyson's feelings weren't real but a part of me couldn't believe that he was cruel enough to mess with somebody like that. He wasn't just hurting me by making me jealous, he was hurting Kai by leading him on. When he was with Kai he acted like his best friend but when he wasn't around, Kai was an ungrateful jerk. He couldn't have it both ways so which was it? Were they even really friends?

"It's like hot and cold with you. One minute you're gushing like a mother hen and the next you're shoving him out the door like an orphan. Do you even know how you feel?" I demand, getting a little too carried away. Max tenses and Tyson starts to look panicked so I stand up and turn my back to them, deciding that it's better to leave before I say something I won't mean. "Sorry…" I pause for a second before looking back with a half-smile. "I'm going to bed. We can finish our sleepover on the weekend when Tyson doesn't have work. Good-night guys." I don't wait for a response before I leave.

In my walk down the hall I started to think that I probably seemed no different to Kai. Hot and cold. In order to save our friendships, something had to change and it might have to be me.

I glance at Kai's door when I pass it, half hoping he'd left it open for me but it's closed and my heart sinks a bit. Then, I stop myself and shake my head with a conviction that had come somewhere between Max's concerned face and my rally to defend Kai's anti-social behaviors without thought. I march my way back to his door and give it a hearty, but somewhat soft (give me a break it is still 2am after all), knock. It doesn't take him long to answer.

"What?" he asks crossly, not bothering to hide his irritation or his unchanging want to be left in peace. I ignore him, throwing tact to the wind and pushing my way past him into the room. I walk over to the bed and jump, flopping down gracefully and curling myself around a pillow in comfort. "What are you doing?" Kai asks, confused and stopping in a place halfway between the door and the bed with the door still open.

"Taking initiative," I reply with a sleepy sigh before rolling over and falling right to sleep.

I don't know whether Kai stayed or left, or how long he stood there questioning what was happening without his consent or approval. Feeling the warmth and familiarity of being there was enough to knock me right out without so much as a glance back. When I wake up in the morning Kai is already in the shower. Briefly I consider intruding but having tested my luck already by regaining my place in bed, I decide it's not worth the risk.

So, I venture my way out to the kitchen instead. I make breakfast but instead of eating at the table, I decide to make my way to the living room. I stop in the doorway briefly to take in the state of the room, which is now empty and in shambles from the mess Max and I had made. Not wanting to deal with it right away, I ignore it and take my breakfast right to the couch, where I sit down, turn on the TV and start eating. A few minutes later, Kai joins me, carrying his own breakfast and sitting down next to me without a word.

"Good morning," I greet him.

"It'd be better if my floor wasn't covered in food," he retorts dryly, not bothering to look at me. I narrow my eyes slightly and set my breakfast plate aside on the table.

"Is this how it is going to be now?" I ask.

"How is what?" He looks at me from the corner or his eye but otherwise doesn't deviate from his position or the task of eating undisturbed. So I slide forward, placing a hand down next to his leg so I can lean over him, reaching with the other hand to go to brush his hair back. He doesn't object, even closing his eyes a little and tilting his head as if inviting the touch. But before I make contact with his skin, he turns towards me with a hard look which makes me withdraw.

"Spiteful…" I whisper with a frown. His eyes fall a moment before his meets mine again with a softer gaze.

"I'm not…"

"Morning!" Tyson rushes by like a hurricane with barely a wave and a nod of acknowledgement. The door slams shortly afterwards. Kai smirks and goes back to his breakfast as I move away from him.

"I don't want to say 'I told you so' but he's already an hour late…" He says in reprimand, causing me to roll my eyes.

"We both know that Tyson would do that even if he'd slept for 2 days."

"Hn." I fight a yawn at the thought of sleep.

"You don't have work too?" I ask, realizing that if Tyson was late, Kai should already be gone and he was being strangely slow at following Tyson's lead.

"Nope. He's working on a different project at the moment. I took some time off just to torture you," he replies casually as he gets up and heads back towards the kitchen with his empty plate. What was that supposed to mean? Before I have time to get carried away pondering over it he turns back with another smirk. "Maybe if you're good and clean up this mess, I won't be so hard on you."

If Kai was the winking type, I could totally see him sending me one before he departs. But he isn't and he doesn't; that was Max's job. Its absence doesn't make the sinking of my stomach any less painful as an uncomfortable feeling washes over me. He leaves and I shiver, getting a sudden chill. Why did it feel like I was in some kind of trouble now?

"Are you okay?" Max enters, his concern seeming more amplified than usual. I scowl and throw a pillow in his direction.

"Why didn't you guys clean up the mess?!" I ask crossly, practically pouting. He takes on a sympathetic yet guilty demeanor and slinks a few paces closer.

"Well we…" He blushes, cutting off his own words. All of his body language tells me that my leaving last night was probably the best thing I had ever done for him. I smirk.

"Did something…happen?" I push mischievously. For once I was getting to enjoy his discomfort at MY teasing instead of my own at HIS. He shuffles back again, the blush deepening as he becomes completely defensive.

"Not exactly…" He withdrawals. "I'll go grab a broom!" He slithers away, taking any excuse to not be there right now. I wasn't going to let him get away with it though. If he wanted the right to tease me all the time, it was only fair that I get to return the favor. Not only that, but his body was telling one story while his words were telling another. I wanted to know what he FELT was something but didn't quite MEAN something.

I shoot up, forgetting my breakfast plate and chasing after him. When I turn around the corner however, I freeze.

"Grab your coat," Kai orders. "We're going out."

"To where?" I blurt cautiously. No response other than him passing me to grab his own coat. "Do I at least get to get dressed?" I turn around to watch him and wait for an answer.

"I'll be outside. I don't recommend making me wait." He exits.

This feels like a trap more than a sign indicating that there was a trap ahead. The sinking feeling from before grows deeper and hits my stomach much harder, the knot making me feel like I probably should have skipped breakfast today. Just how dumb would I be if I followed him?

I take a moment to consider everything.

I guess I'm about to find out.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Pieces of Kai

"So…" I cut through the silence that has settled between us but immediately second guess what I should say next. There were many ways that I could continue: 'where are we going?', 'are you still mad at me?', 'is this punishment?', 'should I have gotten dressed?', 'why aren't you working today?', however, "Is this your car?" seemed like the most logical choice. It was certainly the most tantalizing question on my mind at the moment. Sided right next to 'how long have you known how to drive?' but I didn't want to be rude and I wasn't quite sure I really wanted to know. Especially since his answer to the less threatening question was to speed up more.

I shrink down in the seat, fighting the urge to close my eyes and not open them again for the duration of the ride.

Okay, so he's not open to small talk right now. Noted.

On to my next predisposition. Distraction.

I start to play with my seatbelt and look around the car. Surprisingly it's pretty plain. Not at all a car I would expect Kai to own…or drive. For one, it's brown. Brown seats, brown dashboard, brown paint. Just plain ol' brown. Second, it's a 4-door sedan. I had always pictured Kai as a red sports car type person; maybe blue…possibly black. But brown? Do I even know ANYONE who would purposely own a bland, ordinary brown car?

Kai takes a sharp turn and I can no longer stop my eyes from clamping shut as I tense and grip the seatbelt tightly in a protective manner.

"Definitely red…" I mumble to myself as my defensiveness subsides.

"It's not mine," he replies, somehow having followed my thought process or possibly just answering my question from earlier. I glance at him, still a little cautious but curious all the same. The response let me know that he wasn't outright ignoring me but it didn't leave much for a conversation the way he cut the sentence off so short. He hadn't sounded angry or bitter but what other purpose would dragging me out of the apartment so early and unwarned have besides punishment? Getting it out of him would have to take a bit of tact on my part. Although, getting so far as to warrant punishment seemed a bit too late for tact. I decide to press forward regardless.

"So you CAN talk." I offer a smile and push myself back up in the seat.

"Hn." He slows to stop at a stop sign. I wait for something else but like before, I get nothing.

"I'm just trying to judge where I am in this," I say nonchalantly, looking out the window at a few people walking outside. This would have been a perfect opportunity to relinquish all hostilities and just tell him what he wanted to know, but the space between us seemed farther away than something so simple. I needed to offer him some consolation. Especially since, considering who he was, telling him now would be pointless. He'd most likely already found out everything on his own, and if he hadn't, he more than likely no longer cared. So what DO you offer somebody who's always one step ahead of everyone else? He starts off again and I flinch. "If you're trying to kill me there are much better ways," I groan. "Do you even have a license?" I hide my face to soften the impact of force that overtakes the car once again.

"Of course." Silence. I fiddle uncomfortably for a moment before sighing and sliding down in my seat, closing my eyes. Maybe I could pretend I was on a space ship. Yeah. That's right. I'm launching into space. Speed is important for that. We need to break the atmospheric barrier…or something. Thinking about it like that almost makes it seem relaxing…sort of. Not at all. I wonder if astronauts feel the same kind of fear. I'm sure it is a much higher amount of fear. Since, launching into space isn't exactly…safe? Do they still launch people into space or is it just satellites now? If I live through this day maybe I will have Kenny google it for me. Actually, I've had a few good sessions of online researching…maybe I can do it myself now.

My heart stops for a whole different reason when Kai's fingers wrap around my wrist and squeeze. My eyes re-open in surprise and I look over at him. He scrutinizes me from the corner of his eye before releasing me.

"Just making sure you were still alive," he replies impassively. If I didn't know any better I would think he was toying with me. His taunts were a bit more obvious than that however, so I just assume that there is something else going on.

"Maybe if you didn't drive like a maniac you wouldn't have to worry." I shoot back with slight malice. At this point I'm not sure if it's because of his feigning detachment or because in the short, 20 minute car ride he'd managed to make my heart stop at least 6 times. Somehow being concerned for my consciousness seemed like it would be trivial to him with his attitude and disregard throughout it all. I take it all back, maybe I was just getting frustrated that we'd been alone for 20 minutes and I was no closer to knowing what was going on than I had been at the start. It was beginning to feel like it had nothing to do with Tyson at all. He raises an eyebrow at my snarkiness but still doesn't say anything. "Sorry." I relent, feeling foolish that I had let myself go so easily. It was prevalent that I wasn't making any progress but getting defensive and derisive would only make things worse. "I'm just a little on edge because I don't know what you're thinking." I pause, wanting to continue but riding the fence on whether I should. A part of me knows that pushing Kai gets adverse results but the bigger part of me just wants a resolution. So of course I go on anyway. "Maybe I deserve it. I'll take whatever punishment you have for me." It seemed like the best way to get results. Showing my compliance would allow him to take over the control. Which, if I knew Kai like I thought I did, was pretty much all he desired. He's quiet again and I start to think he'd gone back to ignoring me but then he tilts his head in my direction.

"Who said anything about punishment?" There's something in his tone that I can't place and it leaves me with no real response as I try to figure it out. But, he slams on the brake and my eyes snap closed again, halting all my thoughts. "We're here," he relays calmly. I keep my eyes closed as I try to slow down my breathing and get my bearings back. I take things slowly as I crack one eye first, realizing that I'm still alive and that the danger is gone for now. I want to look at him again to see what he might be feeling (if anything) but the sight outside my window takes my attention completely and I lean forward to take it in, a bit dazed.

"Kai that's…" my mouth drops open as I am unable to finish. My hand absently reaches out to take ahold of his leg for some type of stability or feeling that I'm not imagining things. "You… You JUST said it WASN'T punishment." I turn to him in a desperation that even I would consider pathetic. "Kai…" I plead. "You can't make me go in there like this." His face is a mixture of confusion and surprise.

"You know where we are?" he asks with slight skepticism.

"Please, Kai. I promise I'll do whatever you want." I ignore his inquiry if only to show him how uncomfortable I have become. He narrows his eyes in suspicion but his lip starts to quirk in amusement.

"I never told you not to change," he taunts. I would take comfort from the return of the more familiar Kai, but I am too busy fearing my impending humiliation. He shifts to open the door and steps out of the car. I immediately lock the doors and shrink down in my seat to hide. He sends me a deadpanned look and holds up the keys. I pout and relent, opening my door as he walks around to meet me.

"Please? If you ever cared about me at all, you won't make me go in there. Not like this." I look at him practically tearful. Sure, it's not becoming of a person at all but some circumstances require it. He looks over the door at me, forcing me to stand with the look on his face.

"I'm doing this FOR you," he offers as consolation. I step over to him and frown.

"I didn't know you hated me…" He rolls his eyes.

"Ray, you're being overdramatic," he growls as he shakes his head in disapproval. Any glimpse of his previous amusement is gone now and I start to feel helpless.

"So? Wouldn't you if you were me?" He closes my door for me and studies me a moment.

"You still don't trust me at all." He returns my frown. "I was hoping this would help but you won't even give me the chance."

"How is meeting your parents in my pajamas supposed to help?" I reply accusingly. The look of suspicion returns to his face.

"So you HAVE been here before…" he concludes but doesn't question me further. "Well… They aren't here so you can stop with all the bad theatrics."

"Seriously?" I watch him doubtfully as he moves forward up the walkway towards the door. "Then…why are we here?"

"The longer you drag your feet the longer it'll be 'til you find out," he calls out to me without stopping or looking back.

"Oh." Well don't I feel dumb now? I rush my way to catch up before he can slam the door in my face. I look up at the house once more before following him inside.

Kai's parents' house. I never thought we'd end up here. Inside was just as daunting and terrifying as I had imagined it would be but knowing that what awaited us at the end of the illustrious hallways and decadent furnishings wasn't Kai's parents, somehow I could breathe normally.

It was true that I had been there before and it wasn't strange that Kai hadn't known that. Why would he? He hardly shared any personal information with anyone so I am pretty sure he didn't expect any of us to even know where they lived. But I had tracked them down on one of those off days when I was probing and contemplating how I could find out more about him if I knew more about where he came from. Nobody had been home then either and I wonder if that meant that they hardly ever were. Kai had spent most of his time in the clutches of his grandfather so maybe his parents had better things to do. Being prestigious and wealthy I imagine they probably travelled a lot. I mean, I would.

I pause my inner musing when Kai stops in front of a door and turns back to me in what I could only describe as hesitation.

"I'll explain everything later if you just promise to do everything I say without question for the next few hours," he offers, resting one hand on the doorknob but not opening it yet. My curiosity is peaked again, unsure of how demanding he would be if I agreed without inquiring more into it first. I mean, he could ask me to do a lot of things that I probably wasn't ready or willing to do. He had mentioned my lack of trust in him so I took it as more of a test so I nod to show my compliance, overlooking any uneasiness I may have had. He returns my nod, consecrating our agreement and turns back to the door.

I know I said I wouldn't ask any questions but looking at the way he was regarding the door I couldn't stop myself from trying. Just like his tone earlier there was something in that look that I couldn't identify.

"When was the last time you were…" He cuts me off by taking in a deep breath and opening the door. I watch him a little taken back by his open show of discomfort before he disappears into the room. I can't say I've ever seen Kai scared before. I mean, not exactly. I have seen him display a lot of emotions, some bad (anger; disappointment; shame; etc.), some good (happiness; amusement; pride; etc.)… Probably moreso than anyone else. Scared was never one of them. But it was the only thing I could label as what he is expressing to me as he tiptoes his way around the room. It was almost as if any noise at all would bring about some maniacal disruption that would ruin the stillness of our presence there. Did he not want anyone to know we were there?

I venture in after him, unsure of what else is the appropriate thing to do. The room is clearly his. The trophies and prizes and everything else that labelled and delved into Kai's mostly secret past proved that. It made me feel kinda sad. He'd never seemed proud of those. He didn't seem anything. I understand why he wouldn't want to talk about the Abbey but this was a different world. This was a place that displayed his achievements. But just like his room at the apartment, there was nothing personal or identifying of how he felt or to express himself. It was all uniform and distinct. Perfectly shined. Perfectly placed. Nothing defining or different to establish personality or individuality. No identity. Just glamour and show. Kai was so much more than that.

"Here." His voice brings my attention back to him. He offers me a change of clothes. I take them without a word and he points me towards a door on the other side of the room. "Go change." I stand a minute as he moves over to the other side of the room. I step into the bathroom and put on the clothes, which is actually a dark suit, much like the one he wore to his graduation. I study myself in the mirror after I dress and analyze my reflection as it looks just as prim and proper as everything else here. For some reason it makes my stomach turn. I don't think I could ever feel like I belonged in a place like this.

When I step back out of the bathroom I find Kai dressed in similar clothes and kneeling by the bed. I want to question whether we are going somewhere special but the popping sound as he removes a board from the floor becomes more of an interest. I walk over to him, tossing my pajamas aside on the bed as I watch.

"You wanted something personal." His voice remains emotionless when he says this but I can tell he's pushing himself to keep it that way. He pulls a box out of the hole and replaces the board. It's not a big box; just big enough to fit one or two small items. He stands and brushes himself off before shoving the box at me. I open my mouth to say something but doesn't let me start. "Let's go, we're already late." He shoves my pajamas and his clothes into a gym bag and makes his way out.

Late? For what? Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling about this?

I clutch the box close as we go back out into the hallway and exit the house, clamoring back into the car without a word. It stays that way for the remainder of the trip as we take off on another joyful ride into oblivion. This one wasn't nearly as traumatizing, mostly because I was distracted by the box that I now possessed. It had only taken me a moment to realize that it wasn't just a normal box. It was actually a puzzle box, and a really complicated one. I don't have time to figure out before he's screeching to another stop and getting out of the car. I set the puzzle box aside and start to get out myself when an all-too-familiar voice halts me dead in my tracks.

"You're late." Comes a snide remark. It was only two words but it was enough to make my blood run cold and I shiver without even realizing it. I look up at the source, expecting to find Kai's evil grandfather but instead find somebody much younger but just as volatile and more similar in looks to Kai. "And you didn't have permission to bring that thing." Thing? He couldn't possibly mean…

"That 'thing' has a name and he doesn't need YOUR permission," Kai shoots back before I can finish my thought. Okay so he does mean me. I smile sheepishly even if neither of them are paying me any real regard. I can only conclude that I have met Kai's parents after all. Well, at least one of them. And much like I had expected I feel just as unpleasant as I thought I would about it. At least Kai had made me change my clothes first. The suit gives me a false sense of security that wouldn't have existed if I had still been in my pajamas. "I thought you'd be on your way home. Did you need to make sure I couldn't come? Or did you really want to see me that badly?" Even if it's not directed at me I can feel how icy it is. Obviously they weren't on good terms. Had they ever been? Maybe he was just as crazy as his crazy father. Weren't those things supposed to skip a generation? Did that mean that Kai was actually the crazy one here? Wait, what am I even saying?

"Hn. This isn't about you." Kai's father shakes it off without much effort. "You may have chosen to disgrace your family name but even I wouldn't keep you from your mother. I'm just happy she didn't live long enough to know what a disappointment you became." It's then that I realize we were in a graveyard. I hadn't noticed when we'd first pulled up because I had been preoccupied and then the presence of anticipated doom had distracted me further. But I turn and look around now, taking in the huge canvas of gravestones and pathways leading through them.

"Hn." Kai discards him and the insinuation but it doesn't stop him from poking a little more.

"My only hope was that once you ended up on the streets you'd come to your senses." He eyes me up. "But I see you're still harboring your delusions." The glare makes me feel dirty and I'm not sure why. Not wanting to show my discomfort I just stare back, trying to see if I could figure out where this was going before it got too ugly.

Kai crosses the path in front of him as if to show that he is done talking. At first his father seems to take the action offensively but he glances towards me again and as if not wanting to show any weakness in front of me, he quickly composes himself. If not for the location I would have added my own response, gathering enough from the short altercation to guess what was going on. However, seeing as how Kai seemed to want to keep things civil and clean, I refrain, offering a stern look instead as I pass by to follow Kai.

Nothing else is passed between us as they go through all the motions of respects given and prayers offered to the elaborate mausoleum that we approach with care. Only when we get back to the non-sacred ground of the parking lot does the man speak again.

"I'd say it's been a pleasure but we both know pleasantries are lost on you," he spouts just as rude as before. "If you decide to wise up, you know where to find me." He approaches a limo that is waiting on the other side of the scattered cars parked around us. "I might be nice enough to forgive you if you can learn to speak to me properly," are his last words before he gets in the back of the car and departs. I watch Kai for a moment to assess what is appropriate to do or say next but he goes on un-phased, opening his own door and getting in the car. I follow without a word.

I want to ask. I had so many questions. More questions than I may have ever had before. But… Kai had said that he would tell me everything later. Knowing Kai, when he was ready to talk, he would do so. I wouldn't have to ask. Any other way would probably end in nothing but silence anyway. Nobody pried into Kai's business without an invitation. It was a big step for him just having me here. Somehow it felt like I was a part of something much bigger and much more meaningful than just a crude exchange of words between family members on a day that was meant for remembrance.

So I just buckle my seatbelt, look forward, and wait.

"You've never expected me to be perfect," he says suddenly, taking me by surprise. Not just because of the words but because it seemed out of place in the situation. I turn towards him to confirm that I had heard correctly before venturing an answer. He stays looking forward, focused on the empty space in front of him. "It's a little refreshing that you doubt me." I stay quiet a minute longer trying to connect this line of thought to the present time.

"That sounds a little backwards," I laugh nervously. "I don't know how you're making that sound like a good thing." I look down, ashamed at admitting that what he was saying was true rather than becoming defensive about it.

"As frustrating as it is sometimes…I appreciate it." His attention still seems miles away but I can feel the fondness of the words, as twisted and confusing as they are.

"You're such a complicated person…" I smile despite the darkening atmosphere and look back towards the front. "I just want to understand you." I let it drop as if we'd shared some sort of special moment, the questions all seeming irrelevant now.

I hear the click as he releases my seatbelt and turn to see what he's doing only to be overcome by him as he pushes himself over me and catches me in a kiss. Without time to react or comprehend the sudden movement, I get caught up and just lean into it, my eyes fluttering closed on their own. He deepens it enough to leave me unsatisfied as he breaks it off a second later, lingering close enough that I can still feel the heat from his body and his breath on my face.

"Sorry," he whispers, tentatively biting his lip in a rare moment of weakness. "I couldn't hold myself back any longer." I hold my breath as I try to hold my composure, anticipating something more. Instead, he lets go of my seatbelt and lets it slip off of me and settle back into its normal position as he withdrawals. "Now get out."

"W…what?" the word catches in my throat as I am too shocked to muster any real reaction except my blank, disoriented stare. His mood had changed so quickly that I started to believe I had imagined it all.

"You said you'd accept your punishment." He doesn't look at me but I know he's serious. The four phases of Kai that we had gone through today were enough for me to realize that I shouldn't be surprised that it ended up this way.

"But we're miles from home…" I start. "I don't even…" He stops me by reaching into the duffle bag and digging out my coat. Out of my coat pocket he retrieves the phone he'd left in my care.

"You know how to use GPS, right?" He holds it out, still refusing to look at me. I look from the phone to him and back again, now too angry to even feel the lingering notions of adoration for him that I had had moments before. At the same time, I wonder if the reason he won't meet my eyes is because he can't. Maybe he knows that if he does he won't follow through. Something in that thought makes me a little hopeful. "You DID want to take responsibility, didn't you?" He finally turns and settles a hard glare on me. The hope I'd had is diminished as I raise an eyebrow in disbelief and swipe the phone from him, turning sharply and opening my door to get out. "You can take the bag too. There's a bathroom around the corner where you can change again." I grit my teeth and hold my tongue as I grab the bag as well and step away from the car to close the door.

As someone who seems all too familiar with abandonment, I'd thought he'd be a little more compassionate but it was clear that he was more strict about following through than he was about anything else. I don't even check to see if he has any second thoughts as I turn my back to him and walk off in agitation. If it had been a joke I never would have known because it was then that I decided it was my idea to keep going on with it. I had made a promise and I intended to keep it. No matter how unreasonable it was. I also made the decision to come clean with everything when I got back home. Kai was more formidable than I had ever anticipated and it was clear that the only way for us to continue was if we met somewhere in the middle. Resentment, on both our sides, was becoming our signature and that sure as hell was no way to build a relationship.

A/N: Hello again! Long time no type. Not completely by choice. I've been writing and writing in my spare time but haven't had internet for a while so I couldn't upload anything. I also apologize because this chapter gets kind of dark. The next chapter is meant to bring everything together and get closer to a conclusion but I had a lot of information I was throwing around inside my head and this was the direction I ended up going. I wanted to get into Kai's past a bit without getting too dark and out in the blue so hopefully I didn't throw myself off course too much. I didn't stick to the manga as far as regards to Kai's father but it all has a purpose and I needed a villain of sorts. Anyways… I really appreciate everyone's patience. Especially since this probably wasn't what you were expecting. I'm always up for suggestions and not afraid of rewrites! I actually thought about starting over before… but! I probably should finish it first. xD I appreciate every single one of you. Until next time!


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: A Little at a Time

"Hey! I've been looking all over for you." A pause. "How long have you been out here? You look cold…" Max jumps down the stairs and faces me. He gives me a strange look. "Why are you still outside?"

"I wanted to see how long it would take him to worry."

He looks past me up at the apartment.

"Kai?" he asks after some speculation. I nod. He sits down next to me on the stoop. "Even if he did he wouldn't show it." He laughs and nudges me as if to bring me back to life. I give him a half-hearted smile and nod again.

"You're probably right. Maybe I just wasn't ready to go in yet." I had been sitting there for over an hour. After Kai had left me behind at the cemetery, I had changed into Kai's clothes because they were a lot more appropriate than my pajamas but I hadn't done what he'd expected me to. Instead of finding my way back on my own, I had called a taxi cab…which I paid for with Kai's money, since he'd so generously left it in the bag with his clothes. I didn't have it take me back home though. I'd had it drop me off at a store near the bus stop where Tyson usually gets off for work. From there I had gone for a walk around town, stopped by a small café for a small bite to eat (also on Kai) and had wasted another hour or so debating what else I could do to prolong the trip home. Eventually I had given in and caught a bus home only to stop myself here, where I had been sitting ever since. I hadn't even noticed how cold it had gotten since then, having been preoccupied with pulling all the weeds out of the cracks on the stairs and thinking about how many things I didn't really know about Kai.

Max drapes his arm around my shoulders and gives me a small squeeze of comfort.

"Well I don't want to intrude on your gardening adventure but promise me you won't stay out much longer. I have something to talk to you about later." He releases me and gives me one last friendly punch in the shoulder before bouncing back up the stairs and going inside. I sigh and try to give myself the energy to follow him but for some reason I still need more time. I don't even notice the second presence, (which was probably also the reason Max left so quickly) until his fingers brush through my hair and make me jump in surprise.

"I knew you were resourceful but I didn't take you for one to steal," Kai says coyly as I turn my head to see who it is. I frown.

"Well you didn't leave me much choice." I try to answer to show how angry I was but the feeling had gone numb with the weather and I didn't feel so confident now. I turn back around and brush my pile of weeds off of the walkway. "I had a lot of time to think out there."

"Yeah?" He pushes himself up to sit on the railing above me.

"Yeah. Maybe that was the point." I shrug. He doesn't answer. "But I want you to know something." I turn my body so I can look up at him. "I trust you when it matters." I look down before standing up and approaching him. "Like today." His eyes stay fixed on me as I stop right in front of him and put my hands over his knees. "It doesn't feel right when we fight over things that are so stupid. I…" I break off but his eyes seem to egg me on. "I expect you to be smarter than me. I KNOW you're smarter than me," I laugh a little. "But somehow I get defensive and angry when you actually are. What is that?" It had been bothering me for a while. How did we always find things to tear us apart when we had made so many strides to stay together? Our relationship seemed solid but there was still a frailty about it that I couldn't understand. In one breath I wanted to knock him down and pick him up at the same time. Something about that didn't feel quite right.

"Jealousy," he replies without hesitation.

"Hn. Jealousy." I repeat. "Thanks for proving my point for me." I cross my arms and quirk a smile. He slides down off the railing and fills in the space between us. I am tempted to take a step back because we are still outside and anyone could walk by and see us but he grips my chin between his fingers and dares me to stay. I tense regardless, half expecting him to play another round of 'get my hopes up and push me away'. I had always known that Kai liked playing games but I hadn't known that he was such an extreme sadist as well. It would fit him if you really thought about it but I wasn't sure if that made me a masochist or just an innocent bystander that got caught up and just couldn't let go. My pride would tell you that I was just being stubborn but being the submissive all the time would suggest otherwise. Even without communication, he always knew what I needed, even if I didn't.

"Come inside," he whispers gently. "We'll talk." He turns and heads back inside. I stand and stare for a moment before going after him, letting the sensation of the contact briefly warm me up inside. I had been sure it was another game just to get me to follow but 'talking' didn't seem to be what he really wanted at all. Once we are in the safe confounds of his room, he pushes me to the wall and takes up where we left off in the car. Something that gave me the impression that he'd been waiting impatiently until I got back to do. His self-restraint was gone this time and on some level I felt like that was my win. If I had kept my distance a day or two longer he most likely would have cracked on his own. And sure I had been close to my breaking point too but it was much nicer to think that he'd given in first. It validated all the troubles I had caused between us and made it seem worth the strangling effort. That isn't exactly true, but are we really discussing this right now?

His hand makes its way up my side and I shudder, the kisses and touches seeming to be more intense than usual. The passion behind each movement is overwhelming and I wasn't sure how he managed to get that much better each time we came together like this. I let him lead me away from the wall to what I think is the bed but turns out to be the shower where I find myself for the second time in our time together, fully clothed with water raining down on me. This time is much different though as he takes his time unwrapping me from his clothes and having his way with me. I was well passed compliance and into desperate need, the water only making his body feel hotter and his energy seem stronger. If I had a genie, my wishes would all be that I could always feel this good.

By the time he was done with me I don't even have the will to turn the water off or move. I don't remember how I got dressed and made it to the bed but when I open my eyes again, that's just where I am. Sore. In different places than usual. Kai is still beside me, rolled over with his back to me, but he doesn't seem to be sleeping.

"I'm leaving again," he says, confirming my suspicion. I sit up.

"What? But we just…" …made up? Was that our reconciliation or was it his way of lessening the impact of that statement? I look down at him and notice that he's holding something.

"I wasn't keeping things from you," he continues, his grip on the object tightening. "I've never…" His voice gets quiet like a ghost and he can't finish. He rolls over to face me and holds out his hand to me. "I want you to come with me." I figure out then that the 'something' is a plane ticket. I take it from him silently. He sits up. "I promised I would tell you everything. I don't know where to start. I was hoping that if I pushed you away you would get angry and forget about it like you usually do. That only made me feel guilty. Especially since you didn't force the issue."

"That's…"

"Here." He turns to unlock the drawer of his nightstand and pulls out a book. I hold in the urge to laugh when I realize what it is.

"Kai Hiwatari keeps a journal?" I smirk in disbelief. "That's…amazing." For lack of a better word. I wanted to say it was comical but given the situation I thought that would be quite rude of me. This was probably the most he'd said in one sitting than he ever had before and in truth he hadn't really said anything at all. The gestures he was making said more than anything he actually could have spoken.

"If you tell anyone I'll deny it." He slides the book across the blanket towards me and points at the ticket in my hand. "Just say you'll think about it. I already received permission but it's still your choice." I look at the ticket then and see that it's dated for the following Monday.

"Not much time to think about it," I muse. He shrugs.

"I'm sorry I left you out there by yourself." He moves to stand up but I stop him by grabbing onto his shirt sleeve.

"What about Tyson and Max. If we are both gone, they…" He brushes himself free.

"Forget about them. They're adults now. They need to start acting like it."

"Hey wait!" I jump on him just as he stands up, making him stumble forward a bit before stabilizing himself with the added weight of me wrapped around him. "I still have to talk to you." He goes to shake me off the way he normally would if I had been Tyson but stops when my legs get tighter around his waist. He tilts his head to glare at me sideways instead. I smile. "Oh come on, it's time to come clean right?" Even restrained, he manages to cross his arms and snub me.

"I talked to Max," he declares, letting me know that he already knows everything that he wants to. I deflate and drop my feet to the ground but keep my arms around his neck. I bury my face in his back and close my eyes.

"Sorry for being insensitive. You probably really needed a friend today." He relaxes and unwraps my arms from his neck so he can turn around.

"Don't worry about it," he replies before giving me a kiss on the cheek and going on about his business of leaving. I return to the bed and pick up the book, not being able to restrain my curiosity. Ten second later I throw the book at the door as it closes behind him.

"And you wonder why I don't trust you!" I yell after him futilely. I know. You're probably confused. Me too. You want to know why? It's really simple…

I don't read Russian.

I can just picture his look of triumph and smug satisfaction. I have to admit, having him play with me in such a way is kind of fun. I never get bored anyway. I hope on some level, he feels the same way. Or not. I wish he'd lose just once…

I growl and vow to buy a Russian dictionary tomorrow when I go out, but for now I just retrieve the book and put it away in my drawer. I think about locking it but the chances are the others don't know Russian either and even if they did, they wouldn't be audacious enough to enter Kai's room without permission, right?

I decide to go find out if Max is around. It's still a bit early so I assume he's either wandering around the house or…

"Oh hello!" I enter the living room just as Tyson and Max break apart from another one of their wrestling matches over the remote. Tyson being victorious once again and leaving Max to pout on the floor in defeat.

"Ray! Awesome! We were just about to watch a movie!" Tyson gushes as he takes a seat on the couch. Max picks himself up begrudgingly and follows.

"HE was about to watch a movie. I wanted to watch my show." Max rolls his eyes and grabs a pillow to comfort himself with.

"It's on the DVR, you can watch it later!" Tyson waves him off. "I won fair and square!" I watch Max's grip tighten on the pillow but he doesn't respond verbally.

"You said you needed to talk to me?" I decide that changing the subject is the best choice, given the circumstances, as I take my own seat in Kai's chair. The pillow goes flying to the floor as Max jumps up again.

"Oh right! Yes!" he exclaims. He looks down at Tyson, whose attention he has caught with his outburst, and blushes profusely before sitting back down and retrieving the pillow in embarrassment. "I'll uh…tell you later." He negates the attention as best he can, coughing and pretending to be interested in whatever movie Tyson is playing. "Oh hey, I've seen this one before! It's pretty good!"

"Shhh, don't spoil it!" Tyson counters, shoving him away. I watch them as they banter back and forth for a few minutes before Max jumps to life again.

"I'll go make popcorn!" he offers before jetting out the door. I watch him leave with a bit of admiration. He was always thinking of others even if they didn't ask him to.

"He's in a good mood today," I comment absently which almost feels out of place. When WASN'T Max in a good mood?

"He's just hiding the fact that he's upset about his loss," Tyson answers just as absently. I scrunch my face in confusion.

"Loss?" I dare to ask. Tyson nods but doesn't stray his attention from the TV.

"Yeah, the results of his election came back. He always acts extra happy when he's covering up his real feelings." If I hadn't known any better, I would say that Tyson was very observant. But this is Tyson we're talking about. Had he been fooling us about his intuition all these years?

I decide that asking about it further would feel too much like talking behind Max's back so I let it drop and turn to the TV as well. That had probably been what he had wanted to talk about with me earlier and it seemed wrong to discuss it without him present too. Tyson HAD been right after all. Max DID seem to hide his real feelings a lot when he was down. You would never know it if you watched him bounce around every day like a wrecking ball of happiness. I appreciate his spirit. If I had received such a loss after trying so hard, I would probably be off crying somewhere alone. Or threatening everyone who voted against me. At least in my head anyway…

"You and Kai…" Tyson voice snaps me out of my twisted delusion. I look over out of interest in the subject matter and what he could possibly want to ask, but he's not paying any real attention to me and doesn't seem to want to continue right away. That is until… "It's just kissing right?" If I had been drinking anything I would have been spitting it out right now. I bite my tongue as if I had spit anyway and flitch at the sudden pain. What Tyson was curious about was a lot more surprising than why he was curious about it and I couldn't quite find the words to go on with that conversation. Fortunately for me, Max re-enters before I can fumble my way through any intelligible answer to the very…bold…inquiry.

"You can't be serious, Tyson." Max looks at him dumbfounded, bowl of popcorn in his hands. I stare at him with the same disbelief. I mean, the question was innocent enough in its own way, but did he really believe that? And who was I to corrupt his fragile little mind? Tyson reddens at the unwanted attention and starts his usual stuttering when he talks about anything intimate or embarrassing.

"Y…yes? I mean, what else is there? Y…you can't r…really mean… That Kai wo… T…there's no w…way." I cover my mouth to stifle a laugh when Max nearly falls over at Tyson's lack of comprehension.

"You mean to tell me that you don't notice all the sexual tension Kai throws out every morning?" Max is beyond disbelief at this point and watching him try to hold back his exasperation is quite hilarious. I can see his want to smack Tyson upside his head but his resistance is incredible. I knew Tyson wasn't that observant! And this time I do spit, unable to stop my laughter when Tyson almost tumbles off the couch from fidgeting uncomfortably.

"But how? You're both guys." I cough and try to avoid eye contact.

"I'm not going to sit here and explain it. Google it or something," I say as I turn to Max who has also gotten caught in a hysterical giggle fit. "And you. Don't talk about Kai like that. He's not that desperate."

"Oh?" he manages between giggles. "So you put out easy?" I flush, partially out of embarrassment and partially out of anger. This starts a whole new set of giggles and Max has to sit down and put the bowl of popcorn aside so that he doesn't drop it. Well, if anything, at least Max was feeling better. His laughter is much more genuine now, even if it is at my expense. Setting all my concern from before aside, I start to get a little agitated.

"Maybe I should teach you both a thing or two. Stand over here." I stand up and motion them both over. "Max, you especially." They both oblige, Max a little more unsure than Tyson about my intentions, sensing it from my tone and the sudden change in my mood.

"What are you going to do?" he asks warily. I smirk.

"Just a little experiment." He pales, somewhat sensing where I am going with this. Tyson…not so much.

"Oh whatever. I already know. I just don't get how it works between two guys." He dismisses me with a shrug.

"Well, hold onto your hat because you're about to find out," I reply with a grin. Tyson starts to get nervous; Max starts to panic.

"Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," he starts to beg me with his eyes.

"No, no. Trust me. You'll appreciate it. There's no better way to learn." I wink at him and he groans.

"Then, lets just get this over with…"

"What do we have to do?" Tyson whines. "I hope you don't expect us to…"

"Nah, I won't get all that deep. I just want you to understand how attraction works and then maybe you can understand how the rest of it does. Just…" I point to the space in front of me. "Stand here and face each other. Then, take two steps forward."

"This seems more like a duel…" Tyson mutters as he follows my instructions.

"If you want to think about it like that, that's fine. Sometimes it seems that way. Max?" I look over at Max who is still on the other side of the table. He swallows, a bit more reluctant for many reasons, predominately, his mixed feelings for Tyson. Which, I was actually using against him right now but maybe also in favor of him. I nod in Tyson's direction to get him to move and he listens, timidly turning and taking a step forward. "Closer." I urge him to take the second step. Tyson sighs, not hiding his boredom at all.

"I don't see how this is supposed to teach me anything," he grumbles.

"Tyson, shut up and move closer. I want you to be able to see Max's pores. Max, just stand still," I order. Max immediately stops fidgeting and his breath catches as Tyson steps as close as he can to him without touching him.

"Okay, now what?"

"Just shut up and look at him for two minutes. Study him. Get to know what it feels like to have somebody invade your personal space," I instruct with a small wave of encouragement. Max's face turns a light shade of pink at the scrutiny but he manages to not look away. I almost feel bad for torturing him like this but not enough for me to stop.

I hear movement behind me and turn to find Kai stopped in the entryway.

"What are you guys doing?" he asks judgmentally. I hold up a hand.

"Don't move Tyson." I halt Tyson from responding to Kai's question. "Ignore Kai. Just…keep looking." Kai's interest goes up a notch but he doesn't ask again. "Just a little payback for Max calling me 'easy'," I explain casually.

"You ARE easy," Kai chides in return. Max's lips curl as he starts to break into another giggle fit but I raise an eyebrow and his eyes reunite with Tyson, who is still trying to figure out what I'm trying to prove. I leave them to walk over to Kai so I can hit him. He doesn't seem to mind as he's studying the two others in criticism. "How did you even get them to agree to this?" he asks me quietly. I smile deviously.

"Don't worry about it," I answer with a hint of mystery.

"Max, stop blushing…it's not like we've never been this close before," Tyson orders, taking back our attention. Max responds by blushing more and I really do start to feel a bit sorry for him. The fact that Tyson is so clueless pushes me to keep going regardless. I was probably just caught up in the moment myself, but it was too late to change my mind without it seeming obvious that it wasn't really for their benefit at all but for my own amusement. Maybe Kai was rubbing off on me. It kind of felt good having people do what you say without questioning your intent.

"Shh, Tyson. Stop talking already," I chastise him.

"Wait, he has something…" Tyson goes to touch Max's face to brush some invisible dust away and Max immediately folds.

"Forget it. You win. This is stupid," he says, swatting Tyson's hand away and puts some space between them as he turns to leave. His actions are all in objection but his body is completely flustered and out of control. If he had just gone with it, he wouldn't have been able to hide his feelings from Tyson anymore. Tyson still doesn't understand and tries to stop him by grabbing his arm. The contact makes Max's body freeze and he looks back almost pained.

"Were we done?" Tyson asks confused, just wanting an answer to the questions he was asking or a reason why I was making them do this. Max squirms and I send an amused look to Kai, whose interest has disappeared.

"I didn't know you were so cruel," he says slyly before continuing on his way down the hallway. I turn back to watch Max fight with himself, making it so that now his feelings were excruciatingly obvious to anyone who was looking at him. There was no doubt that he wouldn't believe they were there now. He was no longer trying to get away, letting Tyson continue studying him without reason. He even seemed to take a step closer to where they had been before. Tyson had given up on asking, somehow stuck in concentration of whatever it was he was supposed to be finding in the task. He doesn't even realize how closely he is examining Max's face or how uncomfortable the situation had become. So of course there is only one thing left to do to make Tyson see what was really happening.

"Kiss him."

Max's eyes widen, my words waking him up again, and he moves like he's going to escape but Tyson, still wrapped up in whatever trance I had put him in, follows my instructions blindly into oblivion, and does exactly what I asked of him. Max, now caught off guard that Tyson had actually responded, has no time to react or pull away before it happens and ends. Not sure of Tyson's feelings or having any thoughts except to be free, Max breaks away by throwing his hands up and through the air in a giant circle to remove all contact with Tyson so he can run away without hindrance.

"I hate you," he shoots in my direction as he disappears down the hallway.

"You're welcome!" I call after him, proud of my work and completely unashamed of the results. Even if he was angry at me, he was secretly overjoyed. I could just tell.

"What just happened?" Tyson blinks himself out of his trance and looks over at me as if discovering something new that needed explanation. "I feel tingly. Is that what you wanted to happen?"

"That was fun. Thanks, Tys." I pat his shoulder and start my way towards the kitchen. It was about time to start dinner and all that action had built up quite an appetite. I knew I would have to find Max later to apologize but to me, it felt like I had done him a favor and in a way it would help him (and Tyson) with things in the future. Even if Tyson was a block of wood.

"But I didn't learn anything," Tyson whines after me as I go.

"You learned plenty. You just don't know it yet."


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: Are we there yet?

"You created a monster." Max belly flops onto the couch next to me and buries his face into the cushion.

"What now?" I inquire calmly. He pushes himself up on his elbows to look at me.

"Tyson," he states annoyed. "He just stares at me now. ALL THE TIME! I don't even know why? Did you tell him to keep doing it?"

"Well that's interesting. I swear it wasn't me." I laugh. "Have you asked him why?"

"No!" He flops back down with a heavy sigh before rolling over. "It wouldn't be so bad if that was ALL he did. But he's also NOTICING things." He pushes himself up so that his head is almost resting on my leg. "This morning he told me I had pretty eyes. Like. Does he even know what he's saying?" I glance down at him from the corner of my eye, watching his scan their way over the ceiling fan.

"Isn't that a good thing? He's paying attention to you… And, he sounds like a lovesick teenager. That seems like something special to me." I tease. He throws his arms up in frustration.

"No! It's terrible! I want things to go back to normal. I can't even enter a room with him without feeling self-conscious." He crosses his arms in a pout and glares at me. "What is that anyway?" His gaze becomes softer as his interest is taken by the object in my hands. I meet his eyes and show it to him.

"A puzzle box," I explain.

"It looks really complicated," he says as he takes it from me briefly.

"It is," I nod in agreement. He hands it back and lets out another heavy sigh.

"So. What do I do? You have to fix it before I go crazy!" He covers his face with his hands. I shrug.

"I'd take it up with Tyson." He doesn't really like this answer and goes into a dark brood. I glance over at him again and the guilt that wasn't there yesterday finally washes over me. And then I really DO want to fix it. I frown a little and drop the puzzle box to my lap in defeat. "Well at least you're speaking to me. After all that I didn't expect you to forgive me." He looks up at me with a half-smile.

"I actually need to ask you a favor." I return his look with curiosity. His eyes take on that little devious flare they sometimes get when he's scheming something and my stomach starts to turn in nervousness. "Go on the trip with Kai."

"How did you…?"

"Kai told me." He looks down at his hands. Kai talked to Max? About me? Why? "When we were discussing everything. He was encouraging me about my loss." Loss? "It was silly really. Did you know that I wasn't even eligible to run?" Oh that loss… "Because I'm a first year. They made an exception because of my name and publicity status." Oh! I think I made progress with this thing! "In a way, I am actually happy that I lost. It would have been unfair." Nevermind, I think I just made it worse. Did that piece just get tighter?

"That's very humble of you…" I input my side of the conversation. Not quite ignoring him but not quite paying attention either. I had vaguely known the conditions of running for the student council but when he had mentioned running, I had just assumed I was wrong. Not that his loss wasn't something that deserved my support, it was, he just seemed to be taking it so well and I didn't want to make him feel bad or dwell more than he probably already had. Friends have to show consideration, ya know?

"Yeah well…I'll earn it. I had a feeling from the beginning that it would end this way but my VP was so pushy and positive that I couldn't resist." He smirks in a fond way and even with my distraction I don't miss the slight glimmer in his eye as he reminisces.

"Are you cheating already?" I laugh playfully. He blushes and rolls over in a defensive way so that I can't see his face anymore.

"There would have to BE something for it to be cheating. Besides, it's not like that anyway!" he grumbles.

"If you say so…" I pretend to go back to the box.

"Hey!" Tyson clamors in before he can retort, dropping himself down into Kai's chair with a huff. Max sits up and exchanges a look with me, before we both look over towards Tyson. We don't say anything, expecting that the other boy will elaborate on his own. At first, he doesn't notice, going on with being distracted by his own actions and trying to find something to focus on. I turn back to Max and he gives me a lost expression before shaking his head helplessly. I decide to ignore the outburst and continue where we had left off before he'd entered.

"Anyway, what does all that have to do with the trip?" I ask, bringing Max's attention back to me before he could start fidgeting. I could already see that he was struggling to stop himself and the blush hadn't really faded from my teasing him before.

"Well, a… It's just that…" he tries to gather his thoughts.

"I'm sick of this!" Tyson finally bursts, fuming. We both look over at him again as he grabs a pillow and throws it to the floor.

"I'm sorry?" I reply, a little unsure if the rage is directed at us or something else. He growls and fixates a glare on me and I start to think it really IS us. What did I do now?

"It's them! They tell me this and that and then Hiro tells me this and that and then they still won't let me go!" he cries out forcefully.

"Go? You wanted to go?" He must be referring to the trip with Kai. Why would he be complaining about that to us? Normally he would harass Kai directly about it… Unless he thought we could change something or comfort him. Knowing that I had been invited would probably make it worse. Is that why he exploded when we were talking about it?

I don't! I just want them to ask! If I am doing a good job, I should be praised and not punished. They keep telling me I need more training. I need more training? How? Kai hasn't worked there much longer and HE'S not still training. HE'S travelling. Why am I not travelling?!" I stare blankly at him for a minute, then slowly put the puzzle box down on the table so I can give Tyson my full attention.

"Maybe you should prove to them that you don't need the training," Max interjects in a musing sort of way.

"Yeah, tell them to leave you alone for a while and then determine if you need more training." I add as a little push.

"How do I do that?" Tyson leans forward in interest, as if to soak up all the suggestions we have in eagerness.

"Seriously?" I look at him incredulously. "If you think you don't need training, then show them by doing a good job at whatever you are supposed to be doing."

"Yeah, Tys. You just have to do what you're supposed to!" Max throws in excitedly.

"Oh. Well yeah but… What's a good job?" I face plant into my hands and Max snorts.

"I don't know. Do what Kai does?" I reply absently with a small wave of dismissal. It was taking most of my energy not to tell him he was an idiot. Maybe if I called Hilary later she could do it for me. Days like this are when I miss her tell-it-like-it-is attitude.

"What Kai does?" He seems to consider it. "I guess I could try…" He considers it some more and I take up the puzzle again, having thought the issue to be resolved. "But then…" A pause. "He's so boring!" He collapses back in the chair in defeat and I roll my eyes in that 'you're hopeless' kind of way.

"Then, do whatever you want." I laugh. I try to go back to ignoring him and Max stays silent as well, but I can feel Tyson's eyes studying me and I start to wonder if this is how Max has been feeling since yesterday. It was kind of uncomfortable but not something I wanted to call attention to enough to tell him that it annoyed me.

"Well… What would YOU do, Ray?" he suddenly spits out in the most innocent and childish voice I think Tyson has ever used. It's the kind of statement that makes you heart melts and break at the same time and it throws me off guard for a minute. I take in a small breath and meet his eyes again.

"I…" I hesitate, considering the question for what it really means and how answering it could encourage and help Tyson at the same time. "I would find what I was good at, and make it better." He quiets and looks away. I watch him a moment longer and even exchange another look with Max about whether or not I should elaborate or maybe ask if Tyson is okay. But then Tyson suddenly stands up and leaves without a word and we watch him go before looking at each other again helplessly. "Did he really just…leave?" I question as if asking would change the answer. Max nods and gives me the most confused look he can manage. Taken back by the action enough that I feel drained, I decide to take a break from my task and do something else. I tell Max I am I leaving for a bit before dropping off the puzzle box in my drawer in the room and getting dressed to go outside.

I take a deep breath to savor the feeling of freedom and let go of my rampant thoughts.

Maybe this is why Kai goes on his walks so much…

Before I can step off the stoop, a black car (a fancy one…with tinted windows), pulls up in front of me. My hearts skips a beat in anticipation, my thoughts instantly thinking that it was much more suited to Kai and that he'd bought a car just to spite me, but before I can even finish such a thought, it takes off.

Weird.

Maybe we got new neighbors? I shake it off and go on with my walk. A good 20 minutes later, I realize that it's back and seems to have been following me. I spin around to confront it but it drives off again.

Okay, still weird.

So, what do my instincts tell me? I hide and wait.

Sure enough, it comes back, slowly stalking its way down the road allegedly stalking my whereabouts but unable to find me.

Hmn. Not very smart, I'd say. That car is certainly too flashy NOT to be noticed. Did they really think they could get away with tailing me like that? Were they actually trying to be covert? If I had to take a guess at who would be meddlesome enough to follow me around (in a flashy car)…Kai's father? From what I knew, it sounded preposterous. I'd only just met the man and he'd been pretty gosh darn clear about his feelings towards me and more than likely, my relationship with his son. So why now? Did my presence at the gravesite stir him into some kind of retaliation? He hadn't wanted to make a scene at the cemetery out of respect for the place, but out here, there was no unspoken rules like that. Had I crossed some un-crossable line by showing up in a place where he thought was sacred? I could understand why but…it hadn't been my idea.

Or had it? I HAD been pushing Kai pretty hard for…anything. Kai never talked about anything personal so I didn't quite know what to expect from a direct confrontation with his father…alone. But before convincing myself that it was instead some creepy fangirl that wanted to kidnap me, I figured I would have to deal with it eventually if I was going to stay by Kai's side.

So, I do what any normal person would do, I burst out of the bushes with heavy enthusiasm and startle the predator behind the wheel who, in turn, jolts into a sharp turn that bumps the sidewalk and halts the car. Curses immediately erupt from its direction as the door opens and a man (NOT Kai's father) gets out to inspect the wheel for damage. I watch him in slight bewilderment as he sees that there's nothing wrong at all and forces himself to calm down and approach me with composure.

"Mr. Kon," a polite greeting replaces the string of profanities and I'm only half surprised that he knows my name. To be tailing me, he had to have at least known what he was looking for. At least I would hope so. Unless he was some kind of pedophile and I just happened to walk out of my house at the wrong time…and I'm an adult…on most days. My suspicion that he was still associated with Kai's father did not escape me and my defensive instincts remained intact.

"Sorry I can't return the formality." I cross my arms defiantly. "Who are you?" I don't even bother to keep the condescension out of my tone.

"Oh. My apologies. My name is Richard Hart. I work for Ren Hiwatari." Ah, so I WAS right. Go me. "Mr. Hiwatari has requested some information." Small victory aside, I didn't like where this was going…

"If MR. Hiwatari wants to know something, he can ask me himself," I counter, spinning on my heel to depart with flare. The relaxing mood of my walk now ruined, all I wanted was to be back in my apartment where I could at least brood without feeling under attack.

"If you value the young master, you'll cooperate." The words halt me and despite every fiber of my being yelling at me that this is some kind of twisted trap, I purse my lips and turn back.

"Kai wouldn't appreci…"

"Do you always let the young master control you?" He interrupts before I can finish. And doesn't stop the jab by adding, "Like a pet?" I bristle, hoping it isn't visible to him. My wills wanes. Nobody called me anyone's 'pet'. I take a threatening step towards him.

"You sure know how to charm a guy," I manage to keep my head. "Just tell him he'll have to come see me himself."

The passenger side window rolls down and Kai's father clicks his tongue at me in mock approval.

"I should have known you'd put up some resistance. Anyone who can handle my son has got to have some endurance. But I never would have thought him to go for someone so dense." Okay, there might be someone out there who manages to be more spiteful than Kai. It came out sounding like it should have been a good thing and something in his tone and the way his eyes trailed up my body made me feel sickeningly dirty but the follow-up of malintent was definitely there. I could see a family reunion consisting of cold stares and low-blow insults not ending soon enough. Although Kai seemed to hold his tongue much better these days…

"I'll take that as a compliment." I throw my nose in the air as if to show him his words won't hurt me.

"It wasn't meant as one, but no matter." He waves it off. "Will you agree to come with me now that we've discussed this face-to-face?"

"No."

"Hn." Annoyance.

"You haven't given me a good reason to." I explain even though I hadn't been prompted to. "Why the shuffle and dive anyway? If you wanted to talk to me, why did you run?" Hands move to my hips like a mom waiting to hear the story behind the unexplained mess.

"I wasn't sure it was you." Likely story…NOT! The hands drop. "I have to admit, I was curious." He eyes me over again but with mock boredom and tilts his head the way Kai does when he wants to pretend he doesn't really care. Ugh, too many similarities. It makes me feel even MORE dirty that I am comparing the two of them. "It's not like anyone could make Kai CHOOSE to be rebellious and throw everything away. I was expecting someone more…captivating." A smirk. I wince.

"Can we just get this over with?" I grumble, that need to leave becoming more and more insistent.

"Okay." He nods in agreement. "I'll make it simple since you seem to be in a hurry and I have more pressing matters of my own… How much?"

"How much?" I don't understand.

"How much money do you want to break my son's heart?" My blood runs cold under his glare and the forcefulness of his words.

Why did I wake up today?

…

The confrontation with Kai's father was a lot more draining than I could ever have anticipated. I had expected a short exchange of words consisting of insults, accusations, and possibly a spiteful remark about how I was ruining Kai's life, but I had on no level suspected I would be offered money to disappear. Had he really expected me to accept? Where would I even go? I couldn't go back to China. Tyson and Max were both here too…and what's more important…did he really think he could BUY ME?

Ugh. Dirty. Filthy. Scoundrel. How was Kai even related to that guy? Kai was ruthless but he would never offer anyone money to get what he wanted. Kai rarely even talked about money. We had known Kai for YEARS before we even know his family was rich. We'd never been to his house, we'd never heard about his family company, we didn't even know he went to private school!

And what did he think I was?

Ugh. I may never get this nasty taste out of my mouth. Or be able to scrub myself hard enough to feel clean again. Thank whatever higher being I believe in today that I hadn't gotten in that car.

I let out a distasteful groan as I stalk up the steps to the door and go inside. Shaking my coat and scarf free, I wander into the open foyer into the living room and catch Tyson and Max out of the corner of my eye. I turn to utter a short greeting so I can be on my way to the shower, when I notice that Tyson has something in his hands. I freeze, the agitation of the previous encounter only making me more easily agitated now.

"Where did you get that?" I glare at Tyson as I take a few steps into the room.

"Ray!" Max greets, sitting up at the sound of my voice and looking over. Tyson however, doesn't. Which makes me a little annoyed. "How was…"

"I said, where did you get that?" I repeat louder, quieting Max in the process. He swallows visibly but has no idea what the problem is. He glances at Tyson, as if to warn him but like before, Tyson is concentrated on something else.

"Kai's room. Why? Is it yours?" He rolls Kai's puzzle box over in his hands still trying to figure it out. "It's interesting… Where did you…?" He looks up, his eyes meeting my glare and finally realizing what kind of situation he is in. If he had Kai's puzzle box that meant that he had gone into Kai's room. Not only that but that he had gone into my desk (well technically Kai's but it's the same concept). Which, basically threw out my assumption earlier that Tyson wasn't rude enough to rummage through our personal things or even to enter our room without one of us present. Clearly, that wasn't the case. I guess Kai was right to lock his drawer. Tyson better hope to God he hadn't touched Kai's journal… I bite my tongue and walk over to him, shooting out my hand demandingly. He stares at me innocently a moment before slowly handing it over like a hurt puppy. "Sorry…" he replies guiltily. I take back my hand forcefully and turn away.

Before I can leave the room, Max stops me.

"Wait!" As he jumps up, the pile of magazines he had been leafing through scatter onto the floor. He pays the mess no mind as he continues. "We were waiting for you to come back. We're going to decorate!"

I clutch the box tighter but don't let my anger show on my face. Instead I turn back and smile.

"Sure! I'll be right back…"

"Sweet! We'll go get the boxes!" He scrambles to pick up the magazines and Tyson jumps up to help.

"Don't forget your sneakers!" he calls after me as I exit.

I don't ask… My shower just couldn't come soon enough.

A/N: I know, I know. It's short. And took too long to come out. And went off on another twisted tangent. And probably has some minor grammatical errors. Haha welcome to my brain!

Thanks for the reviews! I appreciate such active interest even though I am lacking on deadlines… I hope you all are at least enjoying life! I love you all.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: All Around the Mulberry Bush

"What's all this?"

I look up from the box I have my face buried in to acknowledge the love of my life as he gapes from the doorway. He's still wearing his coat and his cheeks are a little flushed, probably from the cold. Tyson (always the more enthusiastic) jumps up, nearly tripping over one of the other boxes he had similarly been engrossed in as he rushes over to him.

"Doesn't it look great?!" he exclaims, grabbing the stoic phoenix and dragging him into the room. "Max helped me carry the tree. We didn't know where else to put it. But it looks great, right?" he repeats, hoping this time to get a reaction. Max shifts his gaze away from them sheepishly, hoping that Kai wasn't about to retaliate for the sudden change in scenery without having asked for permission.

"It's…" before he can come up with a word that I am sure means 'terrible' but in a tactful way, he starts to vibrate. Or, well, his pocket does. He glances down and frees himself from Tyson so he can answer his phone, conveniently walking into the hallway so we can't overhear.

"It's fine Tyson. If he hates it, it's only for a month or so," I reassure the gloomy look that had cast itself over Tyson's face. Tyson looks back at us critically, the gloom not quite ready to depart.

"Yeah, that's true… But maybe…" Max looks over the random mess of decorations and clumps of tinsel with a serious expression. Then, he stands up and starts to primp and reorganize the tree as if he were a hairdresser in a salon.

"Nah, Kai always knows. Something's not right." Tyson scratches his head to think about it. Then he plops back down on the floor to dig through the boxes some more, now on a mission to find whatever that 'something' is. I take a sideways glance at the doorway, expecting Kai to return at any moment to finish telling us what he thinks but he doesn't.

"It was nice of your Grandpa to give us his leftover decorations." A pause. "But I have to wonder…what was he thinking when he bought this?" Max pulls an ornament from the tree that slightly resembles the shape of a fish but has fur and only one eye. He breaks into a giggle fit when Tyson looks up and immediately snatches it from him.

"I made this in the first grade! It's supposed to be a penguin…" Tyson pouts. I try to remain neutral in the matter but I spit and burst out into my own fit of laughter, wondering from which planet this 'penguin' originated. Tyson scowls and throws it at me. "I'd like to see you do better…" he grumbles as I duck out of the way, the ornament sliding underneath the couch behind me and disappearing from any further critiquing. Max clears his throat, covering any more comments on the subject and goes back to the tree, consuming himself by taking the big, messy globs of tinsel and spreading them out so they look more even. Tyson stops all other movement to watch him and I finally see what Max was talking about before. He has a strange expression on his face and seems to be studying Max for something nobody else seems to see, but the action comes off much more like a pervert than he probably intends. Mainly because his mouth is slightly open as he concentrates. I don't find anything offending or unusual about it, except for the fact that it's Tyson, and trying to get Tyson to concentrate on ANYTHING is just unusual in and of itself.

"Hey Tyson…" I start to inquire, only, I am interrupted by Kai re-entering the room, face flushed and clearly not in the same easygoing state as our previous encounter. He doesn't even bother to stalk all the way over to me. His glare of fury is enough to get my attention without the added effort of wading through the maze of boxes, people, and other obstacles that may have slowed him down. Somehow I am grateful for this because not having them in between us would make me less secure in my current position and the space separating us now. I feel singled out and very unsure of whether I should be fearing for my life or not. I can sense the rage radiating through the air in the room and it's stifling. What could I have done wrong that deserved such a reaction? I imagine the others feel it too as they are also frozen in place, anticipating what will happen next, tense, wondering if I need more than just those boxes for protection.

We all hold our breath as Kai zeroes in on me and only me.

"You. Outside. Now." He demands with no other prompting. He spins around, not acknowledging anything or anyone else and stalks off. The door slams a second later making me and Max jump and cringe while Tyson crosses his arms with a slight scowl. I gulp.

"What did you do this time?" Tyson grumbles, rolling his eyes before he drops his arms again and sighs, then nonchalantly goes back to the nearest box as if this was a normal affair. Max flinches and offers me a weak smile, his task of amending the tree temporarily abandoned.

"I'll make us some cocoa!" he exclaims, trying to lighten the mood before he darts off. I'll have to tell him I appreciate the effort later. But…first things first.

I gracefully get up, pat myself off and slink my way outside, tenderly closing the door behind me without a sound. I don't even feel the cold grip me after exiting the safety of the cozy apartment. I'm too tense, waiting to find out what it is I am in for. Still wondering what I possibly could have done. It had to do with the phone call right? Did I run into someone he knew and say something I shouldn't have? Or maybe he had gone back to the room afterwards… Was he mad that I took down that hideous painting and hid it behind the dresser? He can't be THAT angry about THAT. He'd said he didn't have any attachments to it. Maybe I left something on the computer… Did I leave the journal out after I poked around it a bit after buying that dictionary? Was he upset I BOUGHT a dictionary? He had given me the journal as a peace offering but maybe he really had no intentions of letting me figure out what it said. Maybe he was taking baby steps and wanted to explain it to me in his own time. But he had to know I wasn't just going to do nothing about it. Well, if he knew anything about me anyway…

I am not left too long wandering around my own random explanations because Kai doesn't even take a second to see if I am truly alone or that it's really even me before he fumes his way over.

"Were you even going to tell me you saw him?" he divulges with such force that I almost back up. Even though I probably wouldn't get far considering there's a building there…

Ah… Why wasn't that the FIRST thing I thought of? THAT makes sense…

"I guess this is about your dad?" I offer innocently, trying my best to not look scared while every part of me wanted to break down and cry in a corner somewhere. "In all fairness, you just walked in the door like three seconds ago…"

I shouldn't have been surprised that he would find out. He seemed to know everything before it happened and more afterwards. I had planned to tell him later when we were alone and nobody could interrupt. It seemed like a better choice. Had it been the wrong one? And I could totally understand him being angry, but THIS angry? He looked ready to kill me. And as far as I knew, I hadn't done anything wrong. Yeah, we talked. Yeah, I didn't tell him right away. Was I supposed to? Should I have carried a warning button with me so I could press it and immediately notify him some way that I was being confronted? Should I have called him at work or gone to see him immediately afterwards? If I hadn't thought that that would be bothersome to him in the middle of the day, I would have preferred it. I would have welcomed the comfort.

But this wasn't comforting at all. This was the opposite of comforting. If I had known he would react in this way, I am HAPPY that I HADN'T told him hours ago. I didn't like this feeling or seeing him direct such rancor at me. This was something I had never experienced before. Sure, we'd had fights. Sure, he's said some things that sounded irate and were hurtful, but this? This. Felt. Wrong. Just what kind of relationship did he and his father have that he was THIS serious about a few simple words that passed between us without Kai's knowledge? Especially if he DIDN'T know what it was about? I only assume this to be true because he is so adamantly trying to pressure it out of me. So how DID he find out, and if he knew that we talked why DIDN'T he know what about? Who told him?

The most logical answer would be his father himself would have contacted him and expressed his own feelings of our encounter. But how would he have gotten Kai's number? Kai made it clear they had no connections or contact with each other. Was it the butler…shofer…person? With the powerful presence Kai's father emanated I could see him having the means to find out whatever he wanted. Had he always kept tabs on Kai even despite their shredded relationship? What was Kai TO HIM now?

Kai breathes out heavily and turns around, probably looking for something to hit that wasn't me. Nothing being within his immediate reach causes him to growl and throw his hands up before returning to me and boxing me in by putting his hands to the door on both sides of my head. The new position makes me tense up more and I really do try to back up, wall being my only escape and causing my breath to hitch as I fight off a cry of fear. He closes his eyes a second before locking a hard stare with my own wavering one.

"What did he say to you?" he replies through clenched teeth.

"Nothing really…" I try to remain cool (as cool as I can be under the circumstances) and act like I am shrugging it off as no big deal. This however, is NOT what he wants and he shows me this by curling the hand on the door to my left side into a fist. I imagine that he is seconds away from driving it into that thing he couldn't find earlier and only pray to whoever or whatever that it didn't end up being me after all. My mouth goes dry and I am sure I pale but it doesn't stop me from putting my hands on his chest to push him back as a defense, (as non-helpful as it is). "I mean, do we have to talk about this out here? We should go somewhere more…" I opted to say 'quiet' but it wasn't noisy in the slightest out here so that seemed kind of pointless. Which, in all fairness, had probably been his idea to begin with (that and getting away from prying ears). But, I didn't want to disturb the neighbors and he clearly wasn't in the frame of mind not to if he took what I said the wrong way. As opposed as I was to admit it, I could see the similarities between his tactics and his father's at intimidation. His were much more threatening and direct however, and the air between us becomes difficult to breathe in as he shows me how much he isn't in the mood for my playful banter by narrowing his eyes. "Nevermind." I relent. "Here's fine." I take a deep breath…aaaand backpedal some more. "You want exact words or a paraphrase?" I stall, hoping the cutesy look I send him will make him soften…just a little bit. ANY little bit. Even a tic was welcome at this point. Instead, he starts to lift the fist like he's going to use it and I panic. "Okay, okay. Sorry. He just um…asked me to uh, basically…break up with you? Of course I said no… You don't have to..." I trail off as the fist relaxes and clenches again as he turns around, crossing his arms and taking the few steps down the stairs to the sidewalk. Relief washes over me at the gain on my new freedom and concern grips me instead. "Kai?" I take a step towards him and reach out, only to withdraw again when he sneers at me over his shoulder.

"I should have known bringing you there would start something. I just didn't think he would approach you on your own. That bastard..." He mutters something under his breath that I don't hear. The danger having seemingly subsided brings the feeling back to my body as I relax and I shiver, clutching my arms in an attempt to keep warm. He lets out an aggravated grunt and faces me again. "Go back inside before you catch a cold," he orders. This somehow leaves me unsatisfied.

"And you?" He looks me over as if deciding something. He takes his coat off as he makes his way back up the steps and wraps it around me, bringing our bodies close together and covering me in warmth. His smell and body heat instantly overcome me and my cheeks flare up in embarrassment.

"Just listen to me for once, okay?" His words are strong but a softness has entered them as well. This takes away my unsureness about whether he would ever have REALLY hurt me and I suddenly feel silly for having been afraid of him before. "Stay away from him. If he comes after you again, call me immediately."

"But I…" A finger moves to my lips, the other hand tugging on the coat to keep me close to him so I can't lose focus or look away.

"Call me. I gave you a phone." I furrow my brow and grab his finger to move it away, putting a small distance between us as I lean away. I didn't want him to have all the power, needing some answers of my own.

"Can you tell me something first?" I ask indignantly. He anticipates my line of questioning already and places his grip on the other side of the coat, gripping both sides strongly and pulling me back against him, fully locking me in.

"I'm only going to say this once." He states boldly. His grip tightens and I am unsure if it is because he is gathering up his courage or because he wants me to meet his eyes…because I do, it being the only action that feels appropriate in the moment. "I chose you. I would do it again if I had to. There is nothing he can say, do, or throw at me that will change my mind." He releases me and takes a step back. "I refuse to let him use you to get to me."

"Chose? What are you talking about?" I might be even more confused than I was before. How did he 'chose' me? What was the choice? When did it happen? Was it why their relationship became strained? I had automatically assumed it must have always been strained. All his past familial relations had all been presented similarly and he gave no indication that it wasn't that way with all of them. To be honest, I didn't even know how much of a family he even had. Did he have siblings? Did he have Uncles or cousins or second cousins or third cousins twice removed? Was he close with his mom before she died? I got the feeling he may have been but how long had she been dead? Would I ever know these things? Would he ever want to talk about them? I could understand if they were painful why he wouldn't want to. But he pretty much knew everything about me. Did I know ANYTHING about him? To be in this relationship, this way… To expect a future. To expect reciprocation… Did I need to know? Isn't that what a relationship was? I had thought I had been giving him what he needed. Space. Time. Trust. But how long could I keep that up if he never seemed like he had enough of it? Did he need more time? Did he need more space? If there was always more time and more space between us, were we really together? Maybe we just…tolerated each other. Maybe we were fulfilling some carnal desire that we both shared and mutually agreed was necessary to carry out between us since the door had been opened. But would we ever be more than that? Would we ever be what I needed and not what HE needed? Was I being too selfish to ask these things?

We share a few cold, quiet breaths of contemplation as I think about everything that had just occurred. Kai glances up at the apartment and huffs, shaking his head before passing by me and approaching the door.

"Let's go."

That's it? I turn and reach for him but realize why he'd taken that route when I see what he had seen and freeze. Max was peeking out the window, trying to get a good look at us. I hold back the urge to laugh, the situation not seeming any less serious and not willing to change the trail of thoughts just yet.

"Kai." I stop him. "If you want me to do this, I have to know what's going on. Why does he hate me so much? And what…" He interrupts me.

"You'll just have to trust me," he says before opening the door. Trust again? For someone with so many secrets he sure asked for a lot. If I had to piece everything together on my own I would probably just mess it up. Maybe it was a lot simpler than I was making it seem.

He goes inside but leaves the door open for me. I hesitate, meeting eyes with Max at the window, his hopeful expression egging me to come back inside.

Maybe I was just thinking too much.

I pull Kai's coat on properly, shoving my hands in the pockets as I lumber towards the open doorway. My hand brushes against Kai's phone and what feels like a notepad but I have no time to think about it before Max jumps up and appears in front of me carrying a steaming cup in his hands. He really had made hot cocoa. The gesture is not lost on me.

"Not good?" he puffs, shoving the cup at me and tugging at my sleeve to follow him back inside. I start to protest but gladly accepting the warm gift. He laughs at his own words. "I won't ask you what happened but I WILL say I'm happy you're still alive." I scowl.

"You're such a charmer," I return sarcastically, receiving a giggle in response.

"I have to go get Tyson's cup too. Come inside!" he orders, pulling me towards the living room before disappearing again. Tyson looks up, his eyes trailing after the blonde as he leaves. My urge to question his sudden interest in the other's movements itches its way back to the front of my mind and I like the distraction from my previous troubles. I wonder how appropriate it would be just to ask. I take a sip from my cup and hold it close, letting it warm my fingers and my face with the steam.

Whelp. Now was as good a time as any.

"Hey Tyson…" I shed Kai's coat and properly hang it up while I wait until he looks like he's heard me. His gaze locks with mine in a quick glance before he looks back at the contents of the box. "I couldn't help but notice that you…gawk at Max now. Any particular reason?" I ask as casually as possible. Which…is pretty damn casual if I do say so myself.

"What's particular? And who's gawking?" He can't stop the blush even with his defiant tone or his choice to bury himself deeper in the box. "I just notice more when he's not looking at me." He explains without prompting. He never was any good with interrogations.

"What are you trying to notice?" I take another sip, still maintaining casual. I am blatantly obvious that I am toying with him but he doesn't seem to pick up on it at all. Especially since his face grows really serious as his mind drifts battles over out an explanation.

"He… There's… I don't know how to say..." He turns his back to me to avoid looking in my direction and stands up, pretending to be more interested in fixing the tree's disorganization. His hand moves to the back of his neck to rub it in a soothing sort of way. "He hides."

I let a silence settle in briefly before responding.

"You can be very perceptive. It's a shame you chose to waste your true abilities." I smirk. He spins around furiously.

"Shut up!" his hand grabs an ornament and he throws it at me. I dodge.

"So violent too. Is this how you treat your friends?" I act offended. "What did the poor ornaments ever do to you?" He crosses his arms and sticks his nose up.

"You don't act much like a friend anymore," he spits back defensively. He doesn't mean it as an insult but it still hits me like one. I feel a sharp twinge shoot through my chest. He doesn't miss the change in my demeanor. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He starts his way over to comfort me but stops halfway there. "Or maybe I did. I dunno anymore."

"It's not just Max, is it?" I ask, a little taken by his show of helplessness. He hadn't given me any sign that I was correct in thinking this was the case, but there was something in his eyes that were screaming out the words to me.

"No." He sits down on the coffee table, appearing pleased that I had noticed so he wouldn't have to say it himself. "It started with Max. When you made me study him. When I looked at him, like, REALLY looked at him, I saw…something. But I didn't know what it was. So I kept looking. Trying to see it again so I could, I don't know, label it? I saw other things too. Then I got curious and I started watching people at work too and noticing things in them! My brother… Mr. Dickinson… The lady that greets you at the door… I guess I never really looked at people before. Or maybe…I never really SAW people before."

"You're a busy guy." I offer as support, hoping he takes it as such.

"I should have known you'd make fun of me." He pouts, taking it an entirely different way instead. I instantly want to comfort him.

"Hey now. I think it's good." I smile genuinely.

"You do?" he changes his tune, looking at me awestruck. "But you called it 'gawking'." The awe switches to displeasure at the word. I laugh and pat his arm reassuringly.

"Well, I take it back. Now that I see why you were doing it. It's good to want to understand people. And you are right. You DO learn a lot by paying attention." I nod as an added effect.

"Well. I didn't learn anything at all. I noticed fake smiles and covered up insecurities but I always knew when he was doing that. Who doesn't do that? I mean, we all do. I don't want to ask why he does that because I understand. This was something different. I only see it when he looks at me. And… and… it's different then when he looks at you or Kai." He folds his feet underneath him and looks down, a sadness draping itself over his features. "I… I saw a change in you too." He pauses. "But like… It was almost like the opposite of what I see in him." Now he looks at me. "Like I… Did I do something wrong?"

"Why would you ask that of all things?" I can't follow his line of thoughts.

"Well, with Max it's like…" He thinks for a moment. "He keeps himself at a distance but he's trying to get closer. With you, it's like you're too close and want to get away."

"Woah." I am so taken back I don't even have a witty response to give him.

"What?" he asks confused.

"I just never thought I would see the day when you'd say something like THAT."

He growls and crosses his arms.

"Sorry." I pat him again. "You're…right. I have been struggling with my friendship with you. Do you blame me?" He considers it. And for once, he seems like he is truly considering it.

"I guess not. I've been pretty unreasonable. I just feel like…" His hand moves to brush his hair back. "Are you always going to take his side now? Is that what this means?" The question sounds strange but looking at it from his perspective it would seem like that's how it was. Were there really 'sides' in friendship? I wanted to say no, but it seemed impossible for there not to be sometimes. I didn't want to 'pick a side' if I didn't have to but if given the choice between our friendship and being with Kai, I probably would choose Kai. Luckily, I had never had to make that choice. Had Kai? Was that what he had meant?

"Do you hate him?" I ask instead of answering his question or thinking about any more of my own.

"No." He takes a deep breath in and sighs. "It's not that. I think I just wish things were as easy as he makes them look. He has…everything."

"He doesn't." I blurt before I can stop myself. Tyson looks up at me sharply, a little shocked. I blush. "I mean, if you looked at him the way you've been looking at everyone else, you'd see."

"I would but he's always glaring at me," he mumbles back and rolls his eyes. I snort into a laugh and can't help but smile at him and the mental picture he'd just created in my mind.

"Sorry I took so long!" Max enters with perfect timing. Almost too perfect. I eye him quietly, asking him a question we both know he wouldn't ever answer truthfully. He hands Tyson a cup and sits down, also cradling one of his own. He avoids my eyes just as I had expected he would and pretends to be taking a more thoughtful look at the tree. I down the rest of my cup and stand up.

"Well, I'm kind of tired. Sorry guys. I'll see you in the morning." I ruffle my hand through Max's hair as I walk towards the hallway and everything quiets as I exit.

How can one conversation make you feel closer and farther apart at the same time? Suddenly, I'm exhausted.


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: The Ugly Truth

I've always considered myself a good person. Sure, sometimes I get small desires that aren't so nice but they aren't enough to take away from my overall merit. I mean, everyone has pet peeves and things that tweak their personalities ever so slightly into something unrecognizable. I could probably name mine with one hand. But I'll save that for another day. Today, we're going to talk about Kai's. Kai's WORST in particular. Before I get too carried away I should probably start from the beginning though. So, we'll get back to that later…

After avoiding Kai for the rest of the day and the first 20 minutes of dinner (or maybe he was avoiding me, but that might just be splitting hairs…either way, we hadn't seen much of each other), I made a decision. One that I wasn't too sure was sound or even thoroughly considered. I was completely clueless on exactly how to implement it anyway. There were many things that COULD happen that weren't what I WANTED to happen and many things to work out so that those things DIDN'T happen. One way or another, I had to figure it out and I had a slight inkling that I couldn't do it alone. But my mind had stopped working somewhere in the transit of thinking about it all and it must have started to leak out. I was only basing this on the strange look I got from (not just) Kai when he entered the kitchen and I moved to his side immediately. I went as far as taking his hand and bringing it up to rub it against my cheek while Tyson made a noise of discomfort. However, Max and Kai were too surprised to react any differently than the critical looks they sent my way.

Eh, kill 'em with kindness right?

I smile and release him but pat his back to help push him towards the table.

"We almost waited but you're pretty unpredictable about being social so…yeah. But there's still plenty, eat up!" I say before walking back to my seat. Max gets a mischievous glint in his eye as he watches Kai's facial expression change when his eyes follow me across the room. Kai doesn't move right away so Tyson jumps to motivate him.

"Cat got your tongue? Sit!" he calls with a welcoming gesture. Kai sits, still half focused on me but turns away when Tyson drops a piece of paper in front of him.

"What's this?" he asks as he picks it up.

"My demands," Tyson responds with a bored shrug. Kai raises an eyebrow and for once I am happy that look isn't directed at me. Mainly because I knew what would follow and it wasn't pretty.

"What?" he demands, a lot more mildly than I had anticipated. I'm almost disappointed. His tone is more deadpanned and the glare he sends the other boy is only half the wrath I had endured earlier. Tyson, of course, isn't fazed at all.

"Just read it. I'm only asking for mutual respect." Tyson gestures to the paper in affirmation. Max covers a smile with his hand.

"Mutual what? Are you high?"

Before Max can break into a giggle fit, I skid my chair away from the table loudly, successfully gaining everyone's attention. I pick up my plate, push in my chair, and walk over to the sink where I set the plate down.

"I'm leaving first," I announce with a smile before I exit.

"I'm done too!" Max bursts, followed by a clatter of his own chair. I figured there had been a battle of curiosity between what I was up to and what was going to happen between Kai and Tyson before he had made a decision but there's a few more clatters and then he's in the hallway catching up to me. "Hey!" He slows when he reaches my side. "Didn't want to see the fireworks?" he prods. I had known that my behavior would peak his interest but the topic hadn't been where I wanted the conversation to go and I sigh.

"I've had enough of those today. I'm going for a swim."

He stops walking.

"Um…isn't it a little cold?" he asks concerned. I turn around and smirk at him. He propels forward again as I turn back and keep walking. "Wait, whaa? Tell me what's going on?!" He wraps around my arm to keep me from walking too fast.

"Listen." I lower my voice to a more serious tone and lean closer to his ear. "I want you to do something for me." He nods and keeps himself attentive. "Take Tyson out after dinner." He looks up a little taken back.

"How am I… Where?" I shake my head, baffled at my request and where it had come from. I can see the wheels turning inside his head as he searches for the answer. I shrug.

"I dunno but I'm sure you'll figure it out. I need Kai alone without any interruptions." He stops walking again, halting me as well and looks up at me a minute. After what I'm sure is some kind of dirty thought plays itself through his mind he nods again.

"Okay but…I can't promise anything long…" he says a little unsure and still partially confused. I nod back and he releases my arm.

"Thanks. You're a really great friend." I wink at him and disappear into my room.

"You'll owe me!" he calls after me and I laugh to myself.

I mill around, keeping myself busy with random things like cleaning and organizing, praying to heaven that Kai doesn't disappear before I can confront him. Because that was the decision I had made. Confronting him. I was newly determined to get all the answers that he refused to give me and somewhere deep inside I felt like the only way was to get him alone somewhere that we couldn't be interrupted.

When I hear Tyson and Max's excited voices fade down the hallway and the door closing, I wait for the silence that follows. I start to think my prayers had been useless and Kai really had left too because he was giving off no amount of presence at all but I am completely thrown when I find him still in the kitchen. He's still holding the paper from Tyson and looking it over with a contemplative scrutiny. I enter quietly but he doesn't miss it, looking up with a shortened regard, the paper giving him more to think about than he'd probably wanted and not really having any reason to consider me a threat. I study the situation a moment and shrug.

"That actually makes this a lot easier." I give as the only warning before I kick forward on the leg of his chair and cause him to fall backward. He drops the paper as he goes to brace himself but I catch the chair with one hand, spin around him and straddle him, then glide the chair gently the rest of the way down where I plant myself across his abdomen. I cross my arms. "We're going to talk." I state powerfully. "And you're not walking away this time." The initial stun shattered, he snorts.

"You know I can get out of this right?" he says as if I am underestimating him. I tilt my chin up in indignation. I can't show any weakness now, not even for the twinge of a smile that wants to share the joke with him.

"I know. But…will you?" I glare down at him. He rolls his eyes and crosses his own arms, even with the rest of his body otherwise restrained.

"I used to like this side of you," he slights me. This time I snort. I uncross my arms and drop my hands to the top of the chair, above his head.

"Feels good when you're the receiver, huh?" I chide in a snarky tone and his eyes narrow with a playful glint. He arches his back to shift into a more comfortable position and huffs in resignation. I stifle the noise that wants to come out by this movement and hide my weakness, trying to decide if the action was intended to distract me or if he had really needed it to make himself more comfortable. He hardly ever did anything without some sort of hidden intention so it was extremely hard to tell.

"Where would you like me to start?" he looks back at me, the playfulness vacating his tone. I hide my surprise as well as my elation that I had made progress without much effort at all. BUT… Having him in this position is nearly impossible for me to hold back from seeing what else I can get away with or get him to agree to.

"Hn." I smirk and lower my face to his, brushing close but not close enough to make contact. I wait for him to respond and then accept the kiss that he hungrily offers before I break it off abruptly. He growls and covers up another small shift when I pull back. "I didn't think you'd actually give in so easily." It was fun to see him struggle for once in his life. It felt even better that he was offering me his struggle almost willingly. It was true that he could fight back and more than likely win, but he was letting me keep control and that was one thing I knew wasn't offered so enjoyably.

"I might hate you," he confesses with no sign of teasing. I 'hn'.

"I learned it from you," I return. He rolls his eyes up, away from me and turns his head as if looking for something to hit me with or to use as a way out without going as far as hitting me. Before he finds that 'something' I roll myself off of him and offer him a hand as assistance. "Now that you know I'm serious, let's be adults." He snubs me and gets up on his own, leaving the chair overturned in spite.

"You've made your point but don't ever do that again," he orders before he walks past me out of the kitchen. What? Did I really lose my chance?! I bolt after him.

"Don't just walk away! You know I can do worse!" I warn.

"I'm giving you what you want but we're doing it my way," he returns, stopping in front of the gym. The gym. So many things could happen in there. So many PAINFUL things. Oh the possibilities of the (painful) things he could be thinking of doing 'his way'. I pout.

"What if I don't like your way?" I half whine.

"You can't surprise me twice," he says without any hint of self-doubt. When he's right, he's right. I relent and enter the gym. He follows, locking the door behind us. I take a step towards the door as if to stop him.

"They're not…" I start but he cuts in.

"I know." Well okay than… He crosses over to the mats and takes off his shirt. Of course he's all business. "Okay. For every hit you land, I'll answer one question. So. Give me your worst."

And here it is. What we've all been waiting for. I know it's a little late and at what would seem to be a serious time, but before we really delve deep, it has to be noted so that no one can forget this moment. The moment when KAI shows some weakness. KAI's pet peeve. And I'm sure once you see it you'll understand and be like 'oh yeah, I expected as much'. But really, who would know? Kai's a brick wall! I jest. But this once-in-a-lifetime moment needed some kind of recognition before it was lost between the lines of real life mayhem's.

So… The simple truth is.

Kai hates losing.

And yes, I'm sure you all know that but what you might NOT know is, Kai hates losing SO MUCH that he actually denies that it happens. He neglects it. To him, it doesn't exist. Not just because it happens so rarely but because it gets under his skin so bad that in order to live with it, he has to convince himself that it wasn't real.

I know, I know. You're all confused because yeah, we all saw Tyson beat him numerous times but think about it. Any time Tyson brings it up, he either disregards its validity or convinces Tyson to have another battle where he proves once again just how superior he is. Blaming Tyson's 'luck' is just his way of justifying it without having to admit that the boy has some real talent. Or that 'possibly' he might just lose sometimes.

So yes, this fact makes this all so much more satisfying that I can't help all my feel good feelings from spilling out all over the place. Bliss really is blinding sometimes. Anyway…

"You're out of practice." I grin victoriously as I pin him to the ground for the 3rd time. He scowls and avoids eye contact.

"You're cheating," he grumbles with a glower. I sneer.

"Just because you aren't winning doesn't mean I'm cheating. Mr. High-And-Mighty isn't invincible ya know," I retort with a visible amount of pride. He snorts and rolls himself out from under me by kneeing me in the back and sending me tumbling off of him. "Hey!" I protest, getting my bearings back and standing up.

"Go." He replies, brushing himself off.

So far I had addressed only minor issues like his relationship with Tyson at work and things he'd discussed about me with Max. Tiny, trivial things… I was working up the courage for the heavier topics and on some level I could tell he'd appreciated it and hated it all at the same time. But he knew and I knew…I couldn't avoid it forever.

"Your mother…" I start off slow, not quite sure how to ask or even WHAT to ask. He sucks a breath in, holds it a second while closing his eyes, before nodding and letting it out.

"She…died before I met you guys." Simple, short, to the point. No details, no other show of emotion. Crap. I needed to push him.

"Were you…close?" I try, not finding which direction I wanted the conversation to go. He always seemed so distant when anyone brought up his past or his family. I didn't want to bring up something painful in an untactful way but on the other hand, I had so many questions. Questions ranging from simple things like 'what was she like?' and 'what kinds of things did you do together?' to darker topics like 'how did she die?' or 'did she know about the abbey?' and so many other different kinds. 'Do you always visit her grave like that?'; 'Is that the only time you go home?'; 'How do you feel when you go home?'; 'Why is your room so empty?'; and so on and so forth. Any question I could ask could lead into dark territory or maybe not so dark territory but I had no way of knowing which questions would lead where and I wasn't completely prepared for the dark places just yet.

"It's…" he searches for the right word. "Complicated." The easy way out. Maybe he was as unprepared as I was at going to those places too. I want to try again anyway. Who wouldn't?

"Un-complicate it?" I say with uncertainty. He volleys between being amused and being annoyed but he keeps the glimmer of play in his eyes as he responds.

"I know these aren't the things you really want to know about," he says as if trying to get out of answering. I roll my eyes and let him get away with it.

"Fine." I drop into my battle stance. He tilts his head up approvingly and follows my lead.

"You shouldn't have wasted your chances," he declares before swiping his leg out to capsize me. I try to jump but react one second too late and tumble down. He smirks in satisfaction but in doing so he lets his guard down long enough for me to retaliate. I dance my way around him in one quick movement. My one single advantage over Kai is my ability to 'disappear'. Which was basically just using any chance to get out of his way and evade his super sensitive senses by not making a sound or philandering my presence. I was no REAL competition for him when he let me lead but throughout this exercise he'd taken the offensive more often than not, leaving his defense wide open. In a way, it was almost like he was letting me win. I would have believed he really had been if he hadn't have shown how annoyed he was by it more than once since we'd started. He was definitely frustrated and even I know that you can't fake that sort of display when you're putting on a show.

I knock him down from behind just as he goes to turn around and he growls a lot more aggravated than last time as he pushes himself to sitting and rubs the side of his face. His side is red from the impact and I throw my hand out (for the second time today) to help him up.

"Cheating," he repeats bitterly, brushing my hand away (also for the second time today). I laugh.

"Out of practice." I repeat as a taunt. He kicks my shin and I stumble forward. He catches me as I fall onto him sloppily. Then he breaks out into his own laugh at the surprised look on my face and the panic as I try to disentangle myself from him. I slip on the mat which is wet with sweat and fumble back onto him. Then we're both laughing as we try to get up. "That hurt, you know," I reply as we separate, remaining seated on the mats, and I look over my shin.

"I owed you," he coos.

"Har, har." I fake laugh in mocking as I nudge him with the tip of my shoe. He shakes his head and wraps his arms around his knees as he watches me doctor the scrape he'd left me as a present.

"My father wasn't always like that," he volunteers, not waiting for me to ask a question and causing me to look up at him abruptly, forgetting my wounded shin. "My grandfather stole me from my parents when I was young but you already know everything about that." He waves it off. "When I was returned, I was different. As anyone would be. My mother tried her best to make me smile but…" He sighs, once again leaving the finer details about his mother as untouchable. "The wasted effort made my father bitter towards me. He started sending me to reform schools and special classes that were meant to better me. They fought about it. When she died, he blamed me. He started picking apart everything I did until I forced myself into wanting to BE perfect just so he wouldn't have anything to say. Turned out that perfection wasn't really what he wanted anyway because even perfection was perfect enough. I rebelled. He sent me to boarding school and pretty much abandoned me. I found ways to vent my frustrations into other things, like blading and bullying weaker kids... I met you guys…" He takes a pause then goes back to the main topic. "We had our ups and downs after that but our relationship became more like a formality because I was the only heir to his company and even if I was 'broken' I still had obligations to my family. Blah, blah, blah. When I left… Last year…" He stops a moment to consider me. "I went home last year to tell my father I was done with him." He goes on with more confidence. "I didn't want his inheritance or his company or his big, lonely house on the hill. I told him I found something that was better than that and he couldn't push me around like his little toy anymore. He cut me off and said once I learned my lesson and came crawling back that he might accept my apology. Mr. Dickinson offered me the job and the apartment as long as I could maintain it and pay the bills. My father had come after me twice since then. So, after the last time, I finally told him what it was that I wanted." He takes another pause as if he's finished but before I can respond he says, "I told him about you." His eyes flick up to meet mine, in complete seriousness. He keeps his words strong and even as he finishes with, "Needless to say, he didn't like that very much." He looks away.

"Kai, I…" I breathe out a bit pained. I didn't know what to say or feel. I wanted to hug him and ask another million questions at the same time, not being able to decide which I wanted more. I wanted to feel happy and sad and angry all at once. This was big. He'd given me much more than I had asked for as well as a solidification of where we stood together. He'd answered the months worth of worries and doubts I had had since moving in with him and he'd done it in one story that was heartbreaking and relaxing at the same time. It held so many emotions and demanded just as many in return. So instead of figuring out what it is I SHOULD be feeling, I just sit there in shock for a little while. "Why couldn't you just tell me?" I had to ask so I knew which feelings would matter. He shakes his head.

"It isn't your problem."

"Maybe…but we're a team." I insist. "And I don't mean like Tyson, Max, you and I are a team but just you and me. We're a team, the two of us."

"I handled it," he throws back forcefully, clearly getting agitated that I was pushing him. I flitch. He looks back at me and lets out a heavy sigh, relieving himself of the burden of holding everything in. "I know. I'm sorry." He mutters softly. "I just want you to know now so you can understand why I want you to stay away from him." I nod and keep my mouth shut, starting to feel a little uncomfortable with how hopeless the situation seemed. Kai doesn't want me involved but in some way I had gotten involved. And now I know and he wants me to just forget about it and let things go on like I never knew? I'm at a loss of how to go forward. I got what I wanted but I still felt like I was losing something. So I brood while I think in all over.

I don't hear him drop his hands to the mat before he's crawling his way over me.

"I'll take care of it," he whispers with a half-smile before he urges me to let go of my turmoil by grazing my lips so softly with his own that I barely feel them touch before they're gone. He lightly nestles the side of my face and lingers close so I can feel his breath provoking me to give in. I try to turn away from the distraction.

"I'll take care of you," he pushes further.

I start to waver as my body heats up and I gravitate to him, capturing his mouth more aggressively and licking his upper lip vengefully, wanting nothing but for him to feel how distressed he was making me.

"I do love you," he lets out one final phrase like a ghost on the wind before I can't stop myself from giving in to his unspoken demands by wrapping my arms around his neck and practically pulling him on top of me. This satisfies him enough to stop teasing me and he gives me his full affection and the passion that he'd been holding back until now. We meld together, getting lost long enough for me to forget where we were and why we were there, and what he'd said to me as a result. His hands comb through my hair before they work their way down to the pieces of clothing that are still keeping us separated. I manage to stop him by taking a hold of his face between both my hands. I take a minute to catch my breath, whimpering as I resolve myself to meet his eyes with strict tenacity.

"We can't keep covering our problems like this," I pant out. He turns his head and licks my palm before kissing me again in longing.

"They'll still be there to work out tomorrow," he answers before rendering me completely helpless.

A/N: Oh gosh, it's been a month. I'm terrible! I hope it was worth the wait. It really winding down now so I hope to finish it by the end of the year at least. Haha

Once again, thank you so much for the reviews. It keeps me going even when I feel like I'm going no where and they really make me smile. Really. THANK YOU SO MUCH! SORRY I'M SO TERRIBLE!


	19. temporary hiatis

A/N: Seems I am taking an extended Hiatis without intending too. Things got a little complicated because I was moving to a new house and it became a huge legal and emotional issue for me and my roommate. So I apologize for the disappearance. The good news is that I will return to a somewhat normal life sometime in the next few weeks. We just have to finish moving in our furniture, painting, carpeting, and decorating for Halloween and Fall. After that I intend to return and finish this all up. I have been noting ideas as I get them, it's never far from my mind even if it is out of my working abilities at the moment. I hope everyone is well! I promised myself I would finish this even if it was the last thing I ever did. Poor abandoned love children… Anyways, gotta get back to adulting. BE SAFE!


	20. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: One Step Forward, Two Steps Sideways?

"Good mor…anha," Max mumbles out through a yawn. He flops down at the table and immediately lays his head down like he's going to take a nap. Tyson had rolled into the kitchen in a similar state, 4 hours earlier. The difference was that he'd been followed by a less than disapproving glare from Kai, who'd chased him out to catch the bus on time for work. I couldn't help but smile at that since Kai had made it clear that he'd never take responsibility for the sluggish and irresponsible youth but there he was, taking on that "leader" role without even noticing it. Or maybe he'd known that we were somewhat responsible and had taken it upon himself to care for just one day. Who really knows what Kai thinks when he does what he does? All I know is that he'd given me a swift greeting gesture before he'd kicked Tyson's chair to get him to move then shoved him out the door as if it happened everyday. I'd just smiled to myself and let them go without another thought.

There was a strange peace of mind that had swept over me after our conversation yesterday and Tyson had promptly become the least of my worries when it came to things to worry about. I had made a resolve to push past the difficulties and actually try to make some changes that might end up turning into something good. At least I'd hoped so. Worrying about Kai's thoughts or feelings seemed pointless if I didn't do anything to make myself even worth thoughts or feelings. If anything, I needed to start making myself someone he wouldn't WANT to lose interest in. Which had to start with me making better choices about what I focus on. My petty jealousy was NOT one of those things.

Just look at me, I feel so grown up all of the sudden. So much so that I am mentally puffing out my chest in confidence right now. Can someone really grow that much in just one night after just one...experience? Well, I shouldn't really second guess it so soon into my revelation. People never change with attitudes like that.

"What time did you guys get back? I didn't even hear you come in last night…" I return with a guilty grin. Max turns his head but doesn't display enough energy to do much more than that.

"Did you work things out?" he sends me a sleepy smile before popping back up fully refreshed, anticipating the gushy details being enough to restore him. "It was rough but I tried to give you as much time as possible. The house was super quiet when we got back so it didn't seem like anyone had been killed." A pause. "Actually, now that I think about it, that could have meant the opposite." He scratches his chin and flushes as a sign of guilt. "Glad to see you weren't killed!" I laugh and lay the last dish I had been washing in the drying rack before opening the fridge and grabbing the plate I'd made for him this morning. I thought he might have emerged sooner but he'd ended up sleeping well past breakfast and almost through lunch.

"I actually thought of a way to repay you." I relay before placing the plate in front of him and sitting down across from him at the table. He lights up like a Christmas tree and picks up the sandwich, eager to dig into it.

"Oh thanks! I'm starved!" he exclaims before taking a huge bite. It was clear to see that he was overly willing to accept the sandwich as the repayment, however…

"That isn't exactly what I am talking about…" I look away a little nervously. So much for confidence… Mental chest puffing, deflated.

I had thought long and hard about this but I still wasn't 100% sure it would have the desired effect on all the parties involved. Mainly because there were many factors to consider in the outcome. I had hurdled the hardest one already so this should be the easy part right? I just have to…go for it! Mental chest puffing re-enabled!

Max watches me curiously and puts the sandwich back down, wiping a few crumbs from his face with his sleeve.

"You don't have to do anything for me. What are friends for? I mean, you'd help me if I asked for the same thing…" He pauses and looks up in a thinking manner. "If I asked. Hmm, maybe I should ask… There is something I wanted to…" He stops himself from going on when I pull something from my pocket and shuffle it across the table towards him. "What's this?" he asks as he picks it up, fully taken from his previous thoughts.

"A plane ticket. To…"

"What?!" he shoots up out of his chair in surprise followed by a storm of outrage. "This is your plane ticket from Kai! Why are you giving it to me?! I don't…" He shoves it back at me and blushes, probably thinking something entirely different than what I was suggesting. Maybe Tyson wasn't the one I should have been worrying about from the start. I mean, Max DID seem more in touch with his sensual side. If he was recently developing dirty thoughts about his closest friend, it isn't a grand possibility that he hasn't ever considered Kai in that way. I mean, come on, Kai's the epitaph of sexuality. Who better to think about when you are lonely and confused about your inner cravings of adolescent lust? Hey, it's where I started. And Max is just beginning to explore the outside the box possibilities. It could only be a matter of time before he's thinking that Kai might look good if he was... Wait, wait, this is way off topic. Back to the real world…

"You won't be sharing a bed," I say half-bitterly before shaking the useless rage out of my mind. "I already discussed it with Kai and he…" I search for an appropriate word. "…agreed?" I tilt my head as if questioning my choice before deciding it isn't really worth going back to find a different word and continue on. "Kai's beta testing a new Beyblade design in some fancy lab in London. He and Hiro have been working on the prototype for months. The first trip was to get funding for the design. This one is for the actual testing. The company they received funding from will only let them test it in their state of the art facility. But, since you know mechanics and can Beyblade at an elite level, I suggested he take you with him… To help." He sits back down as if being hit by something heavy. He stares at the ticket for a long time and I start to think I have poured too much on him too early in the day…well, HIS day. I mean, I could have waited until after he'd finished his lunch and taken a nice, invigorating shower.

Then, he meets my eyes.

"Ray…" is the only word he manages to breathe out right away. So I fill the space with more encouraging words, hoping he'll wake up faster with a little push of inspiration and grounding.

"I know it's sudden and you weren't expecting it at all but you're off from school for break and I had Kai discuss it with Mr. Dickenson and Hiro this morning and he said that they were on board. They even said they would consider it like an apprentice position. If it has positive results they're willing to let you be a part of the development team and pay you for your time. They'll make a position availa…"

"Ray, no." He pushes the ticket farther across the table towards me as if it is a disease and turns away, unable to move himself far enough away from the temptation of accepting it. "I can't. I appreciate it very much but there's no way. I can't. This was your vacation with Kai! It's Christmas! And your first one together here. And, and, I don't even work there! They didn't want…"

"Neither do I." I see the small cracks that I am making with each new pep talk. It isn't hard to find fault in all of his logical excuses and to shut them down until they no longer hold any foundation. "I mean, I wasn't going to be there as an aide to the project in any way. It would be boring cooped up in a hotel room while the 'big boys' are out working all day. But you, you can actually help them so it's better this way. For me and for them. They want you to. Mr. Dickenson said he felt bad that there were no spots left for you after hiring Tyson as promotional advertising. You deserve this. I owe you. WE owe you. Do something selfish for once, Max. I'll grow up and worry about myself if you promise me you'll do this for me." I slide the ticket back over but he continues to deflect my efforts. "You deserve to be there. You deserve to show them your worth. You're not a second place winner, Max. You never should have felt that way." I go to stand up and leave him to mull it over on his owns but he starts to mumble and I stop.

"What about Tyson?" he asks absently before glancing down at the ticket again. Then he looks back up at me with a lost expression. "What about Tyson?" he repeats with more conviction and slight guilt. "He'll be upset…" another absent remark. "He'll be upset!" he says again to me. It was like watching someone have a conversation in their head before sharing it with the people around them, only he was saying both his thoughts and the conversation out loud. I chuckle at his loss and send him a reassuring smile.

"I'll take care of Tyson. I have my own bone to pick with him and since I'll be stuck here alone with him while you guys are away, I'll have plenty of time to calm him down." Then I actually do push away from the table and stand up. Even if he was making progress, he did still need that moment to process it all. "Max, it's not a hard choice. At least think about it before you lose the opportunity." I send him one more smile before leaving him to sort out his thoughts.

One thing off my list of resolutions checked off, only a few more to go. This isn't so bad. Change feels good. Everyone should try it.

I can't help but be pleased with myself. I knew I was taking a big step by letting Kai go away for so long and NOT taking the invitation to go with him. Considering the way things were the first time he'd left, I considered myself a little more mature about it now. And it felt good (and bad). Especially this close to the holidays. There was no real time frame on how long he'd be away. He'd expected to be back before Christmas but it wasn't confirmed. Anything could hold up plans, or delay progression. So Kai hadn't been the easiest to reason with when I had brought up the idea but in the end he had seen my merit in asking (I think). He probably remembers the way things were the first time he'd left too, so me asking in general was a big astonishment.

I can still remember the look on his face when I'd first brought it up.

He'd just gotten out of the shower after letting me go first and had been towel drying his hair as he crossed the room to the bed where I was relaxing, looking the ticket over in my hands.

"Did you make up your mind?" he'd asked nonchalantly, acting as if he didn't really care either way. I'd shrugged and rolled over on my back, spreading out and holding the ticket up over my face as if reading it over and over again like a love note between star-crossed lovers.

"I'm going to give it to Max," I'd replied, just as nonchalant, breaking his bubble of complacency. He'd frozen and set a dark, demanding look on me. Watching him in my peripheral view I acted as if I didn't notice the change or the danger it stirred up.

"You're joking right?" I'd smirked and sat up. It was priceless. Seeing Kai lose his composure over something so simple. I'll probably never get to see that look again if I lived to talk about it…again. Something tells me I don't have many more 'chances' left before I really do drive him into insanity. I wonder why he puts up with me…

"No, I'm actually serious," I'd returned, placing the ticket gingerly on the nightstand. His glare had managed to get even darker, almost malicious but held skepticism at the same time. He'd tossed his towel over his shoulder into the hamper as if he was throwing out the whole idea with one fluid motion of dismissal.

"It's hard to tell with that silly look on your face," he'd remarked with a huff of dissatisfaction. He'd started to walk over to the dresser to hunt for a shirt to wear but I'd sprung up to stop him by grabbing his hand. He'd turned back sharply, hiding the indications that I'd startled him during his silent brooding. I'd squeezed his hand and given him a serious look.

"Well I am. You're working on that Beyblade design right? The one Tyson found in Hiro's office awhile back? Max can help you." I'd released him and shrunk back down. He hadn't said anything right away and if I could hear the gears working in his head, they would have been loud from how hard they were grinding. I would have said that he was confused but...we all know, Kai doesn't get confused. He'd hesitated before crossing his arms in objection. His eyes had locked on mine and on instinct I'd narrowed one eye in challenge. If he was going to hear me he had to know that I was serious and that it wasn't a question I was asking.

"No." No negotiation, just a flat out no. Well so much for that approach… I should have known that Kai couldn't be intimidated with one measly look of self-assurance.

"At least pretend to consider it," I'd replied defiantly. He'd furrowed his brow and let out a heavy sigh before turning away and returning to the dresser and his search for a shirt.

"You do realize that leaves you alone with Tyson right? Would I have to worry about his safety? This is just a rental, you know." I'd grab the nearest pillow and thrown it towards him.

"I bet if you were in my position you wouldn't handle it so well either Mr. Hotshot. I'd like to see you hold yourself together if you were me." He'd scoffed at the thought, finally settling on a t-shirt and pulling it over his head as he'd closed the drawer. He'd calmly picked up the pillow and walked back over. I'd try to ignore the feeling of trepidation that washed over me as he'd put the pillow down beside me without a word and towered himself in front of me at the edge of the bed only inches away. I'd forced myself not to flitch when he'd grabbed my chin and lifted it to make me look up at him fully.

"I would never be in your position." He'd smirked before letting me go and walking towards the door. I would take time to be offended but there was a more pressing matter at hand here.

"Hey wait! Where are you going?" I'd started to jump up to chase after him but he'd waved me down and opened the door.

"I just need a moment. Get some sleep."

And then he was gone.

Get some sleep? Was he kidding me? Who could sleep after that? And now I'll take that time to be offended. Never be in my position? What made him so untouchable? Strapping on a few dark looks and self-confidence doesn't make you immune to natural internal instincts. Between my desires to hold him close and keep him wrapped up in my pocket for no one else to touch, there is a small (and I mean VERY small) part of me that just wants to hit him sometimes.

Needless to say I was waiting for him when he'd returned. We'd discussed everything in finer detail, meaning I'd talked, he'd listened without a word or conjecture. I wasn't even sure he was really interested in my reasoning when I'd started babbling on idly about the benefits of having a working individual on the trip instead of a useless bed warmer, but after a long string of my prattling he'd told me that he would comply. I was excited that I had won. Elated even. As I curled up against his cool skin sharing the chill from the outside that he'd carried back with him, I was slightly hyper from imagining the look on Max's face when I would tell him. But even as I settled down to the sound of his steadily slowing breathing, I could tell there was something vacant lingering behind that was remaining unsaid between us. Kai may have agreed but he wasn't happy about it. Somehow I thought that would make him work harder to finish faster. And on some level…I was just happy knowing it bothered him. I don't know if that makes me bad person or not, being happy over someone else's discomfort, but after getting myself past all my unstable insecurities, there was something conclusive about it. Almost like all my worries stopped mattering because I knew a different truth now.

So now there was just Tyson left to deal with in breaking the news. My list of things to do was slowly becoming manageable and it felt nice. Two obstacles climbed! Too bad I'd saved the most unreasonable for last. Kai had perception to help him understand and Max had empathy and intuition. Tyson? Tyson was a whole different type of mountain. He might as well have been an apple among oranges.

I look at my watch before deciding to grab my coat and hat to take a walk to the store. The best way to get a Tyson to listen was to first make sure his appetite is fully appeased. I wonder if I should get all his favorites. Maybe it's too early for that. I should wait until Kai leaves to approach him that way. Otherwise Kai will just make fun of me later. So, for now we just build up his confidence until it's the right moment to go for the kill! By kill I mean the shot that counts, not an actual kill. Just to clarify. No need to call the authorities on me yet. No one is actually in danger here. I promise!

I open the door to step outside only to find a newly familiar sports car idling across the street. I immediately close the door and throw myself against it as if keeping a demon at bay. I take it back, there might be some danger lingering about after all…

"What's wrong?" Max takes that exact moment to exit the kitchen and find me there unable to hide my panicked expression quickly enough. "Wild animal?" His curious look is enough to make me pass in front of him so he's deterred from going towards the window to take a look.

"It's just a little colder than I was expecting…" I mumble, cough and brush out my hair as if nothing is wrong otherwise. "Need to grab a scarf too." I reach in front of him, still keeping a space between him and that window, to grab my scarf. He sits down on the arm of the couch and watches me as I bundle myself up farther. He kicks his legs out apprehensively like a little kid who's about to tell his mom that he broke her favorite teapot.

"Listen Ray, I know you're just trying to be a good friend because, you are!..a good friend…but I don't want this to become something you regret later." I stop fussing over my scarf to look at him. He jumps back down off the couch and walks to where I am. Then he flushes and bows his head, holding out the plane ticket. "Thank you for your kindness but I…" I place my hand on top of his head and he stops talking with a tiny flinch.

"I'm not taking it back and I won't regret it. If you feel that bad bring me a nice souvenir." I ruffle his hair before straightening my coat and pulling on my hat. He flushes a deeper shade of red and collapses to the floor defeated, unable to hold back the weight of his happiness any longer. He's actually shaking with the amount of joy that's radiating out of him as he squeezes the ticket fondly.

"I don't deserve a friend like you." He laughs, close to tears. The good kind of tears. And I can tell he feels much more relaxed than he had ten seconds before. The pressure of the situation melts off of him as he sits there letting it all roll away. He was finally getting his chance to show everyone that he wasn't just a face behind the scenes that made an appearance every now and then to rustle up excitement. He was finding his worth, and it was in a place that suited him and his abilities. Tyson couldn't taint it because Tyson was NOT a mechanic. He had skills but when it came to putting those gadgets and springs together to make a fantastic toy, it was all Max.

Win – win.

No hard feelings could be passed between them and Tyson wouldn't be able to dispute Max's contribution to the work team.

"Of course you do." I return his laugh and hold out my hand. "Come one. You can come to the store with me and help me buy Tyson's heart. I'll even let you help me cook it all." He giggles at the thought and grasps my hand with a strong tug to pull himself back up.

"Okay, let me just get ready real quick!" He darts down the hallway and disappears into his room and I can't stop my adoration for him from leaking out. It really is refreshing having him as a friend. Just his demeanor alone can make anyone smile uncontrollably.

The feeling is short lived however when I return my attention to the exit.

I tense up, remembering my dilemma from before. How am I going to get Max out and away without making it too obvious that something is going on? I steal a peek out the side window to see if the car is still there and catch a shimmer of the shiny black paint just shy of the window's view. What could he possibly want now? I thought he was done with me. With us. Did he come back to threaten me again? Should I call Kai?

I mean, he DID say to call him immediately if he came near me again…but he hasn't approached me or made it even seem like he was going to. Does he think he is going to provoke me into approaching him? Or is he just…watching me (us)? And why does he seem to only show up when Kai isn't around? Is he afraid of Kai? That didn't make much sense, the way Kai talks about him he sounds like he thinks he owns Kai. Someone who owns somebody, or thinks they do, certainly wouldn't be afraid of them. And why me? Does he really think he can intimidate me into leaving Kai?

I bristle at the thought before noting my apprehensive posture.

I'm such an idiot.

I'm giving him exactly what he wants…cowering behind a couch and closed door.

I straighten myself and stand up tall.

"He's not going to win this," I mutter to myself with pride.

"Who?" Max rejoins me in the hallway, pulling on his coat as he approaches. I shrug.

"Just thinking about dinner." Max laughs.

"You're so dedicated. If you want I can let you in on a little secret. But you have to promise to only use it in an emergency!" I tilt my head in curiosity, following his lead to the door. "I mean it! Say you'll promise!" he laughs again, waiting for me to say it.

"Okay, okay, I promise!" He opens the door and I playfully push him out. He jumps down the stairs and spins around to face me as I join him at the bottom of the stoop with a victorious grin.

"Now I wouldn't tell this to just anyone…" he starts with a playful glint in his eyes. I push him again to get him moving and we start our way down the street.

I barely send a second glance towards the black car as we pass it by and it makes no move towards us either. I half wonder if it's just there to be intimidating and there isn't actually anyone inside it at all. Maybe he was playing a mind game with me to see who was stronger? Who knows? All I know is that it wasn't there when we got back and I almost forgot it had been there at all, until Kai walked through the door and I realized I'd lost my chance to tell him in a timely manner. Which…made me feel quite a lot more uncomfortable than having a stalker whose intentions I couldn't fathom.

"Kai!" I blurt out as if being struck by something when it all comes rushing back to me at his appearance. He was already upset with me about the trip thing, what would he do if he found out I saw his father and didn't tell him right away? Right after we'd sort of gotten to a nice place too… Max (uninformed of my inner turmoil) stops stirring to look towards the doorway as Kai looks between the two of us with a blank expression. "I mean, uh…welcome home." I smile half-heartedly and turn back towards the salad I was throwing together. Max takes a glance towards me, sensing something but not quite being able to name what it is, but shakes his head and turns back to the newcomer.

"It's not quite done yet. Give us 10 minutes! Is Tyson not with you?" he decides to distract us from stating the obvious tension I'd created with my outburst and the weird air that was trying to settle in. Kai just shrugs and glides his way over to the counter as if that was his intention for entering the room in the first place.

"Are we having company?" he asks eyeing over the array of food we'd half prepared. He takes a cup from the cabinet and pours himself a glass of water.

"Uh, no. This is just for us." I smile and walk the salad over to the table to place it down. It's too late to really worry about it now. I can't very well go back in time now can I? Should I have done something different earlier? Maybe I shouldn't have just ignored it. What was going to happen when Kai was in another country and these incidents happened? Would he know Kai wasn't around to pick up the pieces if I messed something up? Kai shoots me a look on my way back that tells me he knows something but I'm not sure if it's the something that I am worrying about. I regard Max briefly before approaching Kai and leaning over to whisper to him. "It's probably not what you're thinking." I smirk and catch his eye again as the calculating wheels start turning in his mind. I flick his nose as a sign of endearment and go back to preparing the rest of the meal. "Just relax. I have everything taken care of." I reassure him, probably only making him feel less assured.

He doesn't let on that he disagrees and turns back towards the doorway, taking his glass of water with him.

"I'll eat later," he replies before disappearing. Grrr.

"Do you think it's because I teased him in front of you?" I ask absently, wondering when my life became such an open forum. I don't think I would ever be pining over 'relationship issues' with a past me. This was definitely something I only developed in the last few years. The real question was which part of the situation now was what he was upset about? And did I really want to ask and find out?

"No worries, Ray. Maybe he just isn't hungry right now." Max stops me before I say something too regretful. "Besides, Tyson might listen better without the extra audience." He winks before setting up the rest of the tableware. He makes a good point. Tyson was definitely more approachable when Kai wasn't around to provoke him.

"Are you sure this is going to work?" I ask, changing my minds direction to the here and now and not the possibilities of later.

"Ray, my friend, I feel like I should be asking YOU that question." He laughs before we go back to finishing up the cooking. Blind leading the blind. Why does it always seem like this is the best way to go on with life? Not knowing anything about where you are going but continuing because you're not doing it alone…

One day, I might be able to answer that question.

A/N: Happy Holidays everyone! I'd dedicating the time off I have to finishing this story. Hopefully, within a timely manner for you all. Next time I'll think ahead before jumping into my inner voices of fanficting every aspect of my life. Haha Cheers!


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